Goodness, it's just a game plunder folks. It's not like we are being asked to steal or rob someone in real life. I know for me, throughout the numerous special quests, i've never taken it personal if I've been plundered or polished by a ton of people when I ask for motivate only, because I know that the quests require it. I don't think anyone is going to get upset with you during the quest because of this same logic. If it's that big of an issue, just send a message apologizing, and offer to leave one of your collections uncollected to allow that player to plunder you back. It's not that big of an issue.
I have a question if anyone has an answer. Not of high importantance to get an answer, just complete curiosity, and if no one has any answer now, time will soon tell. My question is, will the "upgrades" to exisiting graveyard apply if you have multiple graveyards? For me personally, this is not an issue, because I have one PE graveyard aquired during the summer quest so this cannot be upgraded. That leaves me with my second graveyard which was upgraded to IA during the last special quest that allowed us to upgrade (PE was not released at the time, IA was highest age). But I am curious for others in a situation that they have multiple pre-PE graveyards. Will both/all have the opportunity to be upgraded during this quest? Or just a single graveyard?