Jeez, another one...
First things first. There is an opt-out, and it's based on cooperation. Go to your Tavern Shop, and buy a City Shield. If you have enough good friends, which a "cooperator" like you should, 8000 silver a day should be doable. If not, a 30% defender boost certainly should.
That endlessly repeated "bullying" charge... Like all MMPOGs, FoE relies on players to provide the dynamic content of the game. Like all strategy games, that dynamic content is supposed to provide challenges and obstacles. Players who attack and plunder are simply providing the game with its intended content. Under no circumstance can that be construed as "bullying". Players who either don't want to defend themselves, or are incapable of it, also provide an intended content: The easy mark, there to motivate attackers to use the PvP function.
Defense isn't very difficult, and no different from "peaceful" challenges found in all city building games, such as securing against natural disasters, ensuring proper supplies, dealing with protests, etc.. The main difference is that it's a dynamic function that's provided by other players, rather than an algorithm based on AI or pure randomness. If defending isn't for you, your Friends List doesn't provide enough silver for a shield, and you can't be bothered to collect on time, then the game provides one final alternative, namely to accept the losses as a challenge of the game. Accepting certain costs as a result of priorities is an element of all strategy games, including pure city simulations.
What gave you the impression that being at the top of a neighborhood is due to randomness, I have no idea. It's all about priorities and strategic decisions. You expand your tech tree, develop your city, work the quests, you do so intelligently, and you don't progress to the next age until you're prepared for the challenges it will have. Planning your next move, in order to overcome challenges in the most effective way, is what strategy games are all about. Rushing heedlessly ahead, with no plan and an unbalanced and undeveloped city, should be punished, is intended to be punished, and will be punished. All proper strategy gamers understand, expect, and want this.
You're essentially asking for an easier game, complaining that the current version is too difficult.
True, the game has changed several times, and will change again. Those changes have always expanded the game. This is fundamentally different from your demand, which is to limit and reduce the game. I know this has been said before, but it bears saying again: If the gameplay contains something you truly don't like, quit the game. Complaining that the developers aren't tailoring the game to your demands, isn't reasonable.
As far as cooperating is concerned, it's quite depressing that members of your guild feel that it's necessary to beg and offer FPs to have others take trades that they desperately need. Unless the trade was extremely unfair, that would be unthinkable in all fighting guilds that I know of. You certainly have no basis for claiming that your gameplay is all about cooperating.
Then to something unusual about your post: Spamming. Unlike PvP, it's not an intended element of the game. Your confession to spamming both players and support is, quite frankly, startling. That you weren't suspended, or even banned from the game, is surprising. Where your attackers are simply playing the game as intended, you're not. Your spam is pure, inexcusable bullying. If you'd tried it on me, I would've made sure to attack and plunder you every single day, every single time you ended up in my neighborhood, indefinitely. I might even have extended that to include your entire guild. During periods when I didn't have the time or inclination to attack and plunder, I'd make time for a bully like you. If I drove a spammer out of the game, that would be a win for the rest of us. I certainly wouldn't feel guilty about it.
As for moderators and support ignoring or not ignoring your complaints, that's entirely irrelevant. The ones who count when it comes to changing the game, are the developers. They won't meet your demands, quite the contrary. Several changes to the game have been to encourage more PvP play, not less. Most conclusive to the developers will be the matter of game balance. An opt-out would be disastrous. It would, inevitably, be abused. People would opt out when they didn't want to fight, and back again when they did. They'd opt out while building their defenses, and back in when they were strong enough. Even fighters would be in opt-out more often than not. It would, quite simply, ruin PvP, for the single purpose of cuddling players who can't be bothered with strategic considerations.