What's Your Excuse?

[DeletedUser111351]

I keep adding more and more ice, but I just can't seem to get this kettle to boil. Sorry.

Somebody research the different types of ice.

 

[Prinza the Hunter]

My phone only lists one type, "In Case of Emergency" so I don't know about more than one type.

Calculate how many phones will fit in a kettle.

 

[DeletedUser108047]

I could get at least one in but there is lots of space left and my wife won't let me chop up her phone to get an accurate answer...

Please buy me a new phone

 

[Prinza the Hunter]

I would but my phone's battery is flat so I can't call up the salesman.

Please stop my phone getting flat.

 

[Vesiger]

Sorry, but they haven't invented phones with spherical casings yet!

Rig the next election so that I get into Parliament...

 

[Prinza the Hunter]

I'm sorry but I've already been bribed to rig it for someone else.

Fix the rigging on my yacht, please.

 

[DeletedUser111848]

I can't
im already rigging it

 

[Prinza the Hunter]

I can’t do a no-request.

Carve the rules in stone.

 

[Vesiger]

Ouch! My chisel slipped and cut off my finger!

Harness my horse and let's go for a ride

 

[Prinza the Hunter]

Your horse isn't big enough for the two of us.

Stop my dog snoring.

 

[DeletedUser111848]

no its to old
make me a real king

 

[Prinza the Hunter]

Sorry, I don’t serve at a burger bar.

Get me some fries.

 

[DeletedUser111848]

sure but there cold

Make me win 7 bps in what time is it threads

 

[Vesiger]

I got disqualified for trying to fix the game!

Tell me if there's a maggot in this apple or not

 

[Prinza the Hunter]

I don’t have the vodka to do the test with.

Nip out and buy me some vodka.

 

[Vesiger]

The local off-licence won't sell spirits to anyone under age... under the age of seventy!

Get that policeman off my front doorstep.

 

[DeletedUser111866]

He's got a gun!

Sudo make me a sandwich.

 

[Vesiger]

Will an open sandwich do? I've only got one crust of bread left.

Make Christmas come sooner!

 

[DeletedUser111848]

done
let me be awesome

 

[Vesiger]

Nobody can be awesome who doesn't qualify for capital letters

Ride a bicycle along Hadrian's Wall.