Let it be known throughout the land that whosoever admits to a crime; be it the most murderous of misdeeds or the least idiotic of idiosyncrasies; such a man shall henceforth and forever be warrant to immediate and irreversible exile from the Village, without trial and with disregard to error.
LAW 4551, AUTHORISED BY BTF (RULER, Village)
Fishy.
Smug.
Wet.
"Abhorrent traits in any ruler," declared the Lord High Chamberlain to his master as they roamed the palatial grounds (built of course at the expense of everyone except the ruler - global warming was at an all time high with the ruler, who paid no heed to all the warnings that the Forged Nations presented to him each year, merely sending them back their proposed resolutions shredded to pieces by a paper shredder that had also been obtained just to spite the environment)
"I agree, Lord High Chamberlain," said the ruler - before clapping his hand over his gills in frustration as he realised that he had just condemned himself to exile.
"Aha!" said the Chamberlain. "Now I've got you!"
Saying thus and with an almighty kick the Chamberlain disposes of the Fish sending him streaking through the air, right into the mouth of a mako shark who is delighted with the fourth Exocoetidae to enter his gastrointestinal system that day. So delighted, in fact, that it makes its way to the Village, where I sit enthroned now, and prowls about day and night ensuring that I am safe from the meanest of opposition, oceanic, amphibious or otherwise, while my pitiable predecessor has no rest from his constant hand-to-hand combat with Pepsin and co. in the mako's gut.
My Village.