DeletedUser12348
Our spy ('s ?) report that indeed tension in the village is high and akin to a tense thing from Tense Town, Tenseshire, Tenseland and that makes us smile.
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DeletedUser
"And relax," said the calisthenics instructor.
The armoured infantrymen shook themselves down after a good work-out.
It was important to stay in tip-top condition (both body and mind) to be ready to repel rampaging rattus rattuses.
And the banner flapped gently in the calm breeze above my village.
The armoured infantrymen shook themselves down after a good work-out.
It was important to stay in tip-top condition (both body and mind) to be ready to repel rampaging rattus rattuses.
And the banner flapped gently in the calm breeze above my village.
DeletedUser12348
The solitary Damn Dirty Rat stood atop the hillside adjacent our village his eyes focused on the pretenders banner, fluttering slightly in the gentle northerly breeze. His eyes narrowed slightly in a contemptuous sort of way and his gaze shifted to the dark mass gathered in the valley below.
"Now" he whispered, totally unheard in the rustle of the leaves of the nearby ancient oak but the dark shadowy mass, imperceivably at first, started moving towards the village. As they spread out you could see the shapes of thousands of hideously deformed humans, men, women, children all covered in the blood of a thousand deaths. Some limbless, some without other appendages but all moving with some eerie unknown single purpose slowly towards the village. Even at this distance the Rat could a low growling and moaning sound which he knew would be the last sound the defenders would ever hear. He smiled.
The undead had been unleashed and they were hungry. If they could recognise fear they would see it on the faces of the lost souls before them. Primeval instincts now urged them forwards, the lust for blood, warm flesh, the undead quickened and the low growls intensified into high pitched shrieks as the unstoppable mass of death reached the living.
CENSORED
The undead, now sated on their feast of the living had disappeared. The Rat raised our banner and the village was once again ours. He slowly wondered towards the centre of the township head held low saddened at the horror he had witnessed. Thoughts of peace entered his mind, of home, the end to this endless attrition. He then laughed loudly, the previous weakness banished; he was a Damn Dirty Rat after all.
"Now" he whispered, totally unheard in the rustle of the leaves of the nearby ancient oak but the dark shadowy mass, imperceivably at first, started moving towards the village. As they spread out you could see the shapes of thousands of hideously deformed humans, men, women, children all covered in the blood of a thousand deaths. Some limbless, some without other appendages but all moving with some eerie unknown single purpose slowly towards the village. Even at this distance the Rat could a low growling and moaning sound which he knew would be the last sound the defenders would ever hear. He smiled.
The undead had been unleashed and they were hungry. If they could recognise fear they would see it on the faces of the lost souls before them. Primeval instincts now urged them forwards, the lust for blood, warm flesh, the undead quickened and the low growls intensified into high pitched shrieks as the unstoppable mass of death reached the living.
CENSORED
The undead, now sated on their feast of the living had disappeared. The Rat raised our banner and the village was once again ours. He slowly wondered towards the centre of the township head held low saddened at the horror he had witnessed. Thoughts of peace entered his mind, of home, the end to this endless attrition. He then laughed loudly, the previous weakness banished; he was a Damn Dirty Rat after all.
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DeletedUser
The four Heavy Cavalrymen galloped up and surrounded the solitary dirty rat.
"Boo!" chuckled their leader, before spearing the rat into the ground.
They all looked around at the havoc-wrought village, then shrugged.
"Might as well," said the leader. He unfurled the banner and announced to the empty air "This is once again My Village!"
"Boo!" chuckled their leader, before spearing the rat into the ground.
They all looked around at the havoc-wrought village, then shrugged.
"Might as well," said the leader. He unfurled the banner and announced to the empty air "This is once again My Village!"
DeletedUser7099
this is my village i'll just take it back, while you fight each other with words/sentences no one ever gonna read (including me, i don't even know who's above my post...)
my village, thank you.
my village, thank you.
DeletedUser
The pen is mightier than the sword. And so the commander's magnificent combination sword-pen (well it was a desk ornament from his wife) was unstoppable as he engaged and removed the latest usurper.
Enraged by the ramblings of his captive, he sent him off to the torturer for excessive and gratuitous punishment. The torturer smiled ... and took out a zombie rat he had captured and been carefully keeping in a cage. "Have you ever seen that bit in 1984, where he sees what's in room 101?" he asked (anachronistically) of his captive.
The commander strolled away, unaware of the possible danger of the torturer's latest pet.
He ordered the banner unfurled, once again to fly freely over my village.
Enraged by the ramblings of his captive, he sent him off to the torturer for excessive and gratuitous punishment. The torturer smiled ... and took out a zombie rat he had captured and been carefully keeping in a cage. "Have you ever seen that bit in 1984, where he sees what's in room 101?" he asked (anachronistically) of his captive.
The commander strolled away, unaware of the possible danger of the torturer's latest pet.
He ordered the banner unfurled, once again to fly freely over my village.
DeletedUser12348
Even our most hardened Spy is distraught at the horrors he has seen unleashed on the usurper in Room 101 
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DeletedUser
"Right," said the commander, "be prepared to move out". The army was going on manoeuvres for the weekend. The heavy cavalry took up a central position with the mounted archers on the wings, always on the lookout for wickermen to torch dramatically.
"Let's not exhaust ourselves," warned the commander, "I expect we'll need all our energy when we return to hunt out any rats, living or otherwise in this place. If I find out they've been partying while we're gone, we'll make sure they know what a steel party feels like in return."
A few of the archers looked at each other in a puzzled fashion at this statement, but no-one questioned it.
The aide went to lift the great standard up so that it would travel with them during the exercises. And for now the banner flapped one last time over my village...
"Let's not exhaust ourselves," warned the commander, "I expect we'll need all our energy when we return to hunt out any rats, living or otherwise in this place. If I find out they've been partying while we're gone, we'll make sure they know what a steel party feels like in return."
A few of the archers looked at each other in a puzzled fashion at this statement, but no-one questioned it.
The aide went to lift the great standard up so that it would travel with them during the exercises. And for now the banner flapped one last time over my village...
DeletedUser7099
fish tastes good!
my village
my village
DeletedUser
...and then a vegetarian spearman runs you through from behind, and reclaims my village
DeletedUser7099
and my cannibalistic warrior brother comes by and helps me reclaim my village
DeletedUser14782
and then my unseen trebuchets kill you and I reclaim my village.
DeletedUser
Several cavalrymen charge in blindly searching for the invisible trebuchets.
After some slapstick comedic moments they eventually locate all the artillery (mainly by tripping over it) and permanently disable the rock-throwers.
Then they resurrect their 2 favourite trolls to stand guard ... over my village.
After some slapstick comedic moments they eventually locate all the artillery (mainly by tripping over it) and permanently disable the rock-throwers.
Then they resurrect their 2 favourite trolls to stand guard ... over my village.
DeletedUser6065
Michael K. realizes there are no trolls in this game. He writes an in-game ticket pointing out this bug, with a memo to Blacksmith to keep an eye on Billy the Fish, as this is an obvious cheat. Dev's agree on bug, trolls disabled. Blacksmith agrees, and Billy the Fish's account now sleeps with the fish, and gives kudos to Michael K. for saving the integrity of FoE. A single (honest) spearman awaits the heathens in - My Village. . . . mk
DeletedUser
The Billy-goat (a very gruff one) was not amused to find himself expected to stand in for the trolls, but nonetheless, he knew where his fealty lay ... so walked up behind the lone spearman, butted him in the aforementioned behind, and then trampled him to death for good measure, muttering all the time that "BS is no more ... and no remorse either".
The Billy-goat then stood chomping on some handily placed grass ... waiting to see who would be brave enough next to challenge for My Village.
The Billy-goat then stood chomping on some handily placed grass ... waiting to see who would be brave enough next to challenge for My Village.
DeletedUser14782
A single great sword warrior walks by and sprinkles poison on the grass, and the billy-goat eats it and dies. Then, I thank my Great Sword Warrior for helping me reclaim MY village.
DeletedUser
Two very grumpy heavy armoured infantrymen stumble out of retirement and into the village.
"Oy, that was my goat," shouts the older of the two at the startled great sword warrior, "What are you, some kind of capraphobe?" [careful of the spelling there]
Despite being older, the two infanteers promptly make short work of the warrior, and leave him lying next to the goat.
Unfortunately this leaves the nearby goat farm standing idle for a while, but people are resourceful ... they'll think of a way of resuming supplies production shortly in my village.
"Oy, that was my goat," shouts the older of the two at the startled great sword warrior, "What are you, some kind of capraphobe?" [careful of the spelling there]
Despite being older, the two infanteers promptly make short work of the warrior, and leave him lying next to the goat.
Unfortunately this leaves the nearby goat farm standing idle for a while, but people are resourceful ... they'll think of a way of resuming supplies production shortly in my village.
DeletedUser14782
Three Longbow archers see the dead body of their friend and promptly slay the heavy armoured infantrymen and then they come to me and tell me that they have reclaimed My village.
DeletedUser
Clippety-clop, clippety-clop, clippety clop sounded the hooves of the band of knights as they rode through the village.
"A fine new year to you all" they cried out. Possibly slightly ironically in regard to the dead longbowmen, but such is the way of things sometimes.
The villagers timidly peeked out from around their doors ... then shrugged. It was almost par for the course round here thesedays.
Once more they realised (most of them happily) that this was again reassuringly my village.
"A fine new year to you all" they cried out. Possibly slightly ironically in regard to the dead longbowmen, but such is the way of things sometimes.
The villagers timidly peeked out from around their doors ... then shrugged. It was almost par for the course round here thesedays.
Once more they realised (most of them happily) that this was again reassuringly my village.
DeletedUser1979
The year and a half of the tyranny of the countless kings and queens that had reigned since the time of Karnage was more than the people could bear.
In the night, by the fireplace, the village elders would tell tales of a Golden Age in the past, under the wise and benevolent rule of that legend, King Karnage. Yet now, only despair and turmoil reigned among the bloodshed – innocent villagers suffered unjustly.
Yet he had left them on a long and dangerous journey, and was yet to return.
The people longed for their saviour to return.
Suddenly. Hope. The town crier had awakened the entire village, hollering for joy – he had heard news that he was coming back. Karnage was returning home.
The people flooded the streets and marketplace, cheering, whooping, holding up posters of their best impression of the kindly Karnage. Was the Golden Age about to return?
In the distance, a cloud of dust appeared. It gradually grew in size, metamorphosing until it had taken shape: the mightiest army that had ever roamed the earth clamouring towards the village, the sound of the thoroughbreds hooves a thunderous rapport on the earth.
And at the head rode Karnage, glittering with an aura of radiant power as he returned, triumphant from his quest of the past year, ready to deliver the village once again. At his right and left rode his trusty men, Herluth and farmerlynch, who let out a terrible battlecry as they reached the gates of the village.
The evil King naterichster shuddered in his throne for he realized that his time had come.
The battle was short and decisive. The victorious threesome took their rightful place as leaders of the village, among hearty cheers from the adoring townsfolk, the young damsels swooning.
Karnage had come home.
My village.
And it’s great to be back everyone
In the night, by the fireplace, the village elders would tell tales of a Golden Age in the past, under the wise and benevolent rule of that legend, King Karnage. Yet now, only despair and turmoil reigned among the bloodshed – innocent villagers suffered unjustly.
Yet he had left them on a long and dangerous journey, and was yet to return.
The people longed for their saviour to return.
Suddenly. Hope. The town crier had awakened the entire village, hollering for joy – he had heard news that he was coming back. Karnage was returning home.
The people flooded the streets and marketplace, cheering, whooping, holding up posters of their best impression of the kindly Karnage. Was the Golden Age about to return?
In the distance, a cloud of dust appeared. It gradually grew in size, metamorphosing until it had taken shape: the mightiest army that had ever roamed the earth clamouring towards the village, the sound of the thoroughbreds hooves a thunderous rapport on the earth.
And at the head rode Karnage, glittering with an aura of radiant power as he returned, triumphant from his quest of the past year, ready to deliver the village once again. At his right and left rode his trusty men, Herluth and farmerlynch, who let out a terrible battlecry as they reached the gates of the village.
The evil King naterichster shuddered in his throne for he realized that his time had come.
The battle was short and decisive. The victorious threesome took their rightful place as leaders of the village, among hearty cheers from the adoring townsfolk, the young damsels swooning.
Karnage had come home.
My village.
And it’s great to be back everyone