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Jokes!

Jhuie

Sergeant
The rules are:
1.You can post a joke
2.You can double post
3.You can say that you thought someone elses joke was good or funny
 

Arctic Fox the Fighter

Chief Warrant Officer
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.
 
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.
That was a little bit early to be opening the crackers wasn't it
 

Zeratul 2.0

Lieutenant Colonel
Hunting gone wrong

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

(This joke was voted funniest joke of all time in a 2002 online poll!)

2021-01-10 02_43_52-Window.png
 

DESYPETE

Chief Warrant Officer
what goes 99 plonk ! ?

a centipede with a wooden leg

sorry for any offence caused to anyone who has a wooden leg