RichinZhills
Master Corporal
I’ve been banging my head against the Command Tent walls trying to figure out why the battlefield feels like it’s going backwards. I've put Capt. Hooverbrain on extended leave pending an investigation, but even my new Tank drivers are bad to worse.
I’m not talking about poor tactics or bad planning—I’ve increased my army boosts by nearly 800% to 5810/4536%. That’s right, maybe not in the Majors, but playing pretty competitive out there. I'm was using the good ole' Hover Tanks against those progressive troops, kicking on Trial level 22 in GE. So not too bad. But on paper, I should be steamrolling provinces like Tony Hawk at a skatepark. But what’s actually happening? Still taking 4/8/16 points full damage against troops that are only doing a few hundred points damage to my 5.5k defense. And honestly, they shouldn't even be seeing my HT's if they stayed on the plains. So I can only guess...
More attrition.
Fewer fights.
Heavier damage.
At first, I thought maybe it was just bad luck or a full moon over HQ or maybe the Latte Brigade spiked the coffee again. But no… I finally cracked the code. It’s not us. It’s not even the enemy.
It’s the new math. See, back in the day, when you added something, it went like this: 1 + 1 = 2. But now? No, no, no.
Now it’s:
7 Giraffes and 112 Zebras are crossing the plains.
You must count the number of stripes on the zebras, divide that by the number of giraffes, then divide that by their average neck height, multiply that by the length of their tail, and finally—multiply all that by Pi.
Then take that number and subtract the square root of the number of fights you might have had if the game used logic. That’s your new attrition rate.
Boosts? They’re no longer linear or exponential. They’re spatially interpretive, which means the more you boost, the more the system penalizes you because you’re obviously trying too hard. It's like showing up to a knife fight with a tank and they get to open the hood and pee in the fuel tank.
So yes—mystery solved. Boosting now causes reverse progress. It’s basically Battlefield Yoga: the stronger you get, the deeper the bend.
And the next time I try to improve my army, I’ll just send 3 turtles, a kazoo, and a map of Mars. Because apparently, that’s the math we’re using now. But I have adopted a bit, I now use 8 progressive Arties to get me into the 80's, then my four little lonesome HT's to push to around 100, then move up to my Oceanic TT's for maybe 20 more attrition. My 20% builds are more like 25% when I finish a sector, and it seems like my enemies always hit the building lottery and walk all over me, where buildings always seem to disappear when I win. So let me get my book of Zebra stripes out and see if I can't work on more problems.
I’m not talking about poor tactics or bad planning—I’ve increased my army boosts by nearly 800% to 5810/4536%. That’s right, maybe not in the Majors, but playing pretty competitive out there. I'm was using the good ole' Hover Tanks against those progressive troops, kicking on Trial level 22 in GE. So not too bad. But on paper, I should be steamrolling provinces like Tony Hawk at a skatepark. But what’s actually happening? Still taking 4/8/16 points full damage against troops that are only doing a few hundred points damage to my 5.5k defense. And honestly, they shouldn't even be seeing my HT's if they stayed on the plains. So I can only guess...
More attrition.
Fewer fights.
Heavier damage.
At first, I thought maybe it was just bad luck or a full moon over HQ or maybe the Latte Brigade spiked the coffee again. But no… I finally cracked the code. It’s not us. It’s not even the enemy.
It’s the new math. See, back in the day, when you added something, it went like this: 1 + 1 = 2. But now? No, no, no.
Now it’s:
7 Giraffes and 112 Zebras are crossing the plains.
You must count the number of stripes on the zebras, divide that by the number of giraffes, then divide that by their average neck height, multiply that by the length of their tail, and finally—multiply all that by Pi.
Then take that number and subtract the square root of the number of fights you might have had if the game used logic. That’s your new attrition rate.
Boosts? They’re no longer linear or exponential. They’re spatially interpretive, which means the more you boost, the more the system penalizes you because you’re obviously trying too hard. It's like showing up to a knife fight with a tank and they get to open the hood and pee in the fuel tank.
So yes—mystery solved. Boosting now causes reverse progress. It’s basically Battlefield Yoga: the stronger you get, the deeper the bend.
And the next time I try to improve my army, I’ll just send 3 turtles, a kazoo, and a map of Mars. Because apparently, that’s the math we’re using now. But I have adopted a bit, I now use 8 progressive Arties to get me into the 80's, then my four little lonesome HT's to push to around 100, then move up to my Oceanic TT's for maybe 20 more attrition. My 20% builds are more like 25% when I finish a sector, and it seems like my enemies always hit the building lottery and walk all over me, where buildings always seem to disappear when I win. So let me get my book of Zebra stripes out and see if I can't work on more problems.
