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Guild Fel Dranghyr (en6) - Atlantis: Guild Daily Journal

DeletedUser

Issue #1 Wednesday 3rd October 2012

***************************THE ATLANTIS STAR*********************
***************************************************************
--------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News------------------------

The good citizens of Atlantis were beyond excitement and control today as the innaugral edition of their very own newspaper 'The Atlantic Star' made it's first appearance. news stand sellers were crushed as guildies tried to get their hands on the first edition.
"It's gonna be worth a fortune in years to come" said Mr John Galt
"Yeah and we can always rip it up into squares for the loo as well" quipped Chudleigh2

**THE NEWS IN THE GUILD**

Two players made advancement to Higher Middle Age today:
Niparo and mmarrkk2012
The Star salutes them for their achievements

Niparo commented that he always knew he was destined for HIGHER things

mmarrkk2012 when interviewed said that reaching Higher middle age was quite good for him especially as he now had 14 kids and three wives, he never expected to get past thirty let alone higher middle age

**OTHER NEWS**

In court today was the case of Lord Zand versus Rhiannon2
Lord Zand was accused of ****ing all over Rhiannon2's roses, said a distraught Rhiannon2 under oath "I got up this morning and all of my roses stank of stale ale then I realised it was ****.
An eye witness who was not named in court said he saw Lord Zand at two o'clock this morning spraying Rhiannon2's roses singing 'April showers are around the corner'.

The court took a very dim view, but thought that hanging was too good for Lord Zand and so sentenced him to a 100 gold coin fine and he has to clean up all the dog **** in the guild for a week. (That will teach him).

Tune in tomorrow for another exciting copy of ' The Atlantis Star'

Copy right resreved
Editors: Burnside, Lord Zand.
 

DeletedUser

Issue #2 Thursday 4th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
---------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-----------------------


**The News In The Guild**

After the fantastic response we had here at the Star with our first edition we are proud to announce issue # 2 in our Guild paper.Firstly we appologise for the misprinting in yesterday's issue. It was discovered later today that one of 'mmarrkk2012's' kids sneaked into 'Prefects' Printery and replaced the 'S' key with a 'C' key. The scamp has been punushed with a day in the pilory. That should teach him.

'John Galt' (our recruitment officer and Leader) has been working overtime today by bringing us 7 new members to our illustrious Guild. We would like to welcome 'pradeepprotex', 'sdragonfun', 'caphalor', 'tarantula', 'thebho', 'terrornia' and 'pfcjay'. We all hope you enjoy your stay here after such a long journey, after all Atlantis can be hard to find.

A big congratulations goes out to 'Burnside', 'melkie', 'armitius', 'snarglys' and 'heftifilli' on reaching the High Middle Age. Those scientists must be working hard, lets hope they invent a flushing loo soon, as the sprouts 'Uktrooper' gave us tonight are playing havok with our insides.

And well done to Lord Zand who has been invited and accepted into the ranks of the Guild Leaders. Lets hope he wont dissapoint.

**Other News**

Good news for 'Jimmyhig' after he was finally able to rid his city of demonic goats. When interviewed earlier he said "When I found out I had built my Goat Farms over a Draugr burial site it all made sense, I won't be doing that again". Although as our reporter was leaving he swore he heard a goat say "I'll be back!".

Sad news for 'carsking' and 'petitpate' who had to leave the Guild today. 'John Galt' had been knocking on their town centre doors for days but then realised that the signs on the doors said
'Gone to be a fish' instead of 'Gone Fishing'. Lets hope they will be happy in their new lives, can't say the same for the fish.

Finally, 'Burnside' is still undergoing his regional tour of our fine Guild Cities. We caught up with him earlier today to get an interview but all he said was "You'd think that with so many people making shoes, someone would a least give me a new pair for free. Mine are wearing out". Then he was gone again but not after getting lost in 'm3gatron's' city due to the complete lack of signpostage.

Remember to look out for future issues of THE ATLANTIS STAR .

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #3 Friday 5th October 2012

*********************THE ALTANTIS STAR********************
********************************************************
----------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Today saw the joining of 3 new members to Atlantis. We would like to welcome 'props', 'gremla7' and 'julo' into our guild and hope they enjoy their time with us. We need all the help we can get if we are to become No. 1 in the Global ranks.

It would seem that all the Guild scientists have had a day off today as there have been no new technological breakthroughs in Age Advancements. Lets hope they get back to work soon.

A BIG BIG Congratulations must go out to 'Donalddo' for becoming our new Guild leader with over 58,000 points. When we asked him how he managed it he replied "well it wasn't that difficult, all I had to do was beat a Little Bee, a very diligent little bee". It looks as if The Real Viking has no equal when it come to winning.

**Other News**

A strange thing was reported to the Star today, 'chemaster' who is one of our more advanced players reported that he was driving his new fangled steam tractor/car along one of the country lanes in Atlantis when he broke down outside a field gate.

On lifting the bonnet he was confused at all the machinery, suddenly a voice piped up "Try the fan belt". On looking around he saw no-one there with the exception of a black horse with it's head over the field gate chewing grass.Bewildered he checked the fan belt but it was Ok.

Scratching his head for what to do next the same voice said, "Check the battery". Again no-one was there except the black horse.It wasnt the battery and 'chemaster' kicked the tractor/car in frustration. "That won't help, check the starter motor" said the voice. Again no-one was about just the old black horse.

'chemaster' checked the starter motor which had a loose connection and the tractor/car started.
He has reported this to the guild leaders and 'Turbovcielka' told him he was a lucky man. "Why was I lucky" he asked. "Because if it was the white horse that was in the field he knows nothing about mechanics"

NEW: **World NEWS**

This, our newest section of the paper, is where we tell you about upcoming events in the world of Forge of Empires. The first rumours about a distant new world were revealed today by our budding explorer 'seamonkey'. (A monkey at sea...hmmm). He has been telling our reporters here at the Star about a new continent he stumbled across whilst out exploring. He mentions that this land has new technology far in advance of our own and new Goods to be exploited and traded.

He also stated that he saw new buildings and decorations, some of which are massive in structure and design, and had met new people one of which was a KING. 'seamonkey will be visiting this land again over the weekend and told us he would forge a route there by Monday 8th October 2012. We are graitfull for his diligent exploring and wish him a good trip.

To find out more about this new land follow this link : http://forum.en.forgeofempires.com/showthread.php?6204-Changelog-0-18

Thats it for another edition of THE ATLANTIS STAR. Remember to look out for future issues and if you would like to submit a story to the Star then please msg any of the Editors.

Copy right Reserved TM
Editors: Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #4 Saturday 6th October 2012

*********************THE ALTANTIS STAR********************
********************************************************
----------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good day fellow Guildies we hope you have been enjoying your weekend so far, but enough with the pleasentries and on with the news.

Today saw just 1 new member join us. A big hello and salutations to 'Lord Farral', the owner of Farralots Fort. Due to this fact he has moved his city to Atlantis's Frontier so he can keep an eye out for any unwanted visitors. Thank you 'Lord Farral'.

It seems 1 scientist woke up today feeling happy as 'Akbhoy67' has moved up into the HMA. When our reporters asked how he felt he said "I was extatic, until I looked at the amount of Forge Points needed to research new Tech". Don't worry 'Akbhoy67' those 200+ hours will flyby.

We sadly had to say goodbye to 2 Guild members today 'llago' and 'CrossWinds'. We wish them all the best for the future and who knows they may return to Atlantis one day, although due to our Guilds secret location their memory's had to be wiped for security reasons, so maybe not.

**Other News**

The trader's market square was packed out today with pleanty of goods being bought and sold. However around noon there was a commotion at the Glass Blowers stall, so our reporter investigated.

It turned out to be an argument between 2 Guild members over who was first in line. 'Blzbob' and 'redhotcilipadis' were at each others throats but thankfully 'pradeepprotex' was there to calm them down replying "Look I've been to Hell and back and im not angry so take a break would you". We can only hope that 'pradeepprotex is around next time there is a problem to calm things down as anyone who can survive Hell and live to tell about it must have Good Kama.

A medical warning has been issued regarding visitors to 'Wizofwoz's' city. Apparently he has been spreading the CLAP to other Guild members. Doctors Surgeries were inundated with requests for a remedy but all they could give out were Hemp pills to ease the scratching. Damn that Wizzard. He has now been fined 200 Gold and has appologised but stated "This will not stop me from completing my experiments, Cackle Cackle".

And finally a Star reporter was invited to visit 'Pfcjay's' city Pompey. But then realised that he had built it next to an active volcano so kindly declined. "It's perfectly safe" he was overheard saying to another Guild member who was foolish enough to visit, but after the 13th rumble decided to leave rather quickly. We shall leave his city in the hands of the Atlantian Gods.

That's it for todays Issue of *THE ATLANTIS STAR*. Remember to keep tuning in and don't forget that all back issues of the paper are available in the Guild Forum under the heading Entertainment.

Copy right Reserved TM
Editors: Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #5 Sunday 7th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------


**The News In The Guild**

Good evening fellow Guild members we hope you are all prepairing yourselves for another week of tireless work at the grindstone, or water wheel or whatever you do for a living besides managing you cities.

We have 2 new members to welcome today. 'doctiny628', who we have been assured is not a tiny doctor and 'monarchy88', who is the 88th Regal member of a Royal Family in some provence of Fel Dranghyr, we just don't know which one (YET). Is that the smell of horse dung in the air (Hmmm). Anyway we wish them a very warm welcome to our magnificent Guild.

It would seem that Sunday is certainly a day of rest for those poor overworked scientists as there have been no new breakthroughs in Age Advancements. Im sure come next week this will change, once they have had a good sleep. The snoring echoing around Guildies Town Halls seems to tell that story.

The dominance of 'Donalddo' AKA The Real Viking has been squashed by yep you guessed it 'turbovcielka' AKA The Little Dilligent Bee, as he losses his top spot in the Guild. That's what happens when you go away bragging about being No.1. ,it always catches up with you in the end. Wether The Bee can stay at the top only time will tell, let's keep an eye on that battle.

**Other News**

A BIG Thank You must go out for the marvelious party held by 'Akbhoy67' last night in his new fangeled Town Hall. After pleanty of fine Ale, Wine and Wenches all Guildies who attended woke up this morning with rather large hangovers and odd recolections of someone named Ragu Silvertongue. This reporter certainly remembers there being lots of Money and Dried Herbs involved, though what happened to it will probably remain a mystery. Damn that Ragu.

Thankfully everyone made it back to their respective cities, after 'V.Drakul' kindly gave Guild members a ride home on his new invention the Batwing, but only after a quick stop and tour of Transilvania. "I was very happy to help, AHH, AHH AHH" he said when interviewed. "I only ever drink non aclcoholic BLOOD, AHH, AHH AHH". Luckly our reporter managed to slip out as he started to count, otherwise this story may have never made it to the print in time.

Lord Zand has requested us to print that today is the last day to test your gaming knowledge in his Fun Game Quiz. When asked how long Guildies had untill the answers were revealed he replied "I will be posting the the answers tomorrow at noon". Better get your thinking caps on quick then Fellow members. Can you get them all ??

And finally a BIG Welcome home to our Guild Founder 'John Galt'. We hope he enjoyed his trip away and we DEFINATLY hope he will remember to post his vacation notice in the right place next time. TUT TUT.

Well that's it for another edition. We hope you will check in next time for some more Guild News. Please don't forget to keep looking at the Guild Forum as thanks to the fantastic work of 'Burnside' it now looks better than ever and alot eaiser to find the infomation you need.



Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #6 Monday 8th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good evening Atlantis and have we got some News to tell you. Let's get started shall we.

We have 2 new Guild members to add to our ever growing Guild (thx John). Let's all welcome 'LrdMagic' and 'Mari Posa' to Atlantis. Were sure we will all strive to make their stay with us a prosperious and enlightening one.

However unfortunalty we have had to say a sad fairwell to 'Burgerman' and 'DeDekmRaZ'. They apparently made the mistake of trying to follow 'seamonkey' to the New World and their ship was lost in a hurrican. We advise all Guildies to never upset the Atlantian Gods as it can really come back to bite you in the Ass.

'LrdMagic' advanced to the HMA earlier today. His shouts of 'EUREKA' were heard across the Region making 'Heboric' jump out of his skin and drop his miracle cure for itchy balls syndrome. This Editor is certainly not pleased.

**Other News**

'MrJism' (no laughing at the back please) went to 'doctiny's' surgery the other day and was told to go behind the curtain and strip off, before the examination he asked 'doctiny' if he ever laughed at his patients problems.

'doctiny' replied "Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient". "Okay then," 'MrJism' said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'whoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, 'doctiny' started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said 'doctiny', "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen", 'MrJism' replied.

**World News**

Yes it's finally here, THE COLONIAL AGE has arrived. 'seamonkey' is back with Maps, Goods, Technology Trees, Building Plans and Military Units. Everything you could want or need in a NEW AGE has been accounted for. Make sure you check out all the new features in the main FoE Forum. Let's all hope that we have the patience and sustainability to get there because for some of our Guild members it's a long way off.

That's all for Monday's Issue of The Atlantis Star. We hope you enjoyed the read and see you all same time, same place tomorrow.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors: Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #7 Tuesday 9th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Hello again Guildies we hope your magnificent cities have been as productive and inventive as our stories have been here at 'The Star' today. Let's get cracking with the news.

We had 3 new members join us today, no make that 2, no wait definatly 3 .. AARRGGG. We had 2 new members join us today and 1 very quickly returning member (that's better ..whew). 'Kradlum' and 'Kruss' are the 2 new joiners and we all here in Atlantis wish them a warm and prosperious welcome. However 'Lord Farral'(our man in the Frontier) had some problems earlier today with bandits and was momentarly kidnapped by naked men and women. Luckly he managed to escape and is now safely back in his Fort 'Farralot'. He has promised to increase security at his Town Hall.

Unfortunatly 'V.Drakul' left us today. He was arrested earlier this morning in his batwing for the offence of driving under the influence. It would seem that he did drink alcholic blood after all. He is now serving time in a dungeon at an unknown location in Translvania.

Fantastic news for 'Julo' today as he progresses to the HMA. "I'm so glad 'The Star' made it here today" he said to one of our reporters earlier today, "After last nights party there were so many empty kegs of Ale in Avalon I was affraid you wouldn't be able to get into the City". Oh yes that's right Guildies we fight through anything to get you a story come Wind, Rain, Snow or Empty Ale Kegs. Anyway we wish him luck and patience in now making that long stretch to LMA.

**Other News**

'The Atlantis Star' is now featuring on the main FoE Forum. Yes believe it or not we have had massive intrest in our little Daily Paper and people can't get enough of it. To see more Follow This Link : http://forum.en.forgeofempires.com/...l-Dranghyr-(en6)-Atlantis-Guild-Daily-Journal

An intresting story discovered by our reporters :

'empted' was walking through the country lanes of Atlantis the other day when he spotted a horse standing in a field. He was quite taken with the animal and so went over to ask the farmer standing in the same field if it was for sale.Afraid not," said the farmer. "I'll give you a thousand gold coins said 'empted'."I can't sell you that horse. He don't look too good". replied the farmer. "I know horses and he looks fine. I'll give you two thousand!" said 'empted'.

"Well, all right, if you want him so bad." and the farmer sold the horse.The next day, 'empted' returned the horse, screaming that he had been duped. "You sold me a blind horse!" Well," said the farmer, "I told you he didn't look too good."

NEW: **Spotlight On**

In a few days we will be launching a new section in 'The Star'. It's called, yes you guessed it, **Spotlight On**. It will be about members of our Guild who are involved in activities outside the Game, and to try to put a more personal face on our members. For example you could be a Football coach for your local 'Kid's Team' or you might represent your country in a certain sport or activity, whatever it is let us know and you could have your own 5 Minutes of Spotlight Fame. A message will be sent out in the next few days detailing this new feature more clearly by one of the Leaders. Please take the time to read and respond to it.

Finally after much debate this Editor must thank 'MrJism' for agreeing to move his Brickworks due to the huge amount of sludge that was seeping into my City. I'm glad you saw sense.

Well Guildies that's all for today. We hope you enjoyed our news round up and remember if you have any comments you would like to share with us please post them in the Guild forum under Entertainment/Star Praise.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #8 Wednesday 10th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**'

KNOCK' 'KNOCK' .. "Who's that at my Town Centre Door? Yes It's us, 'The Star' Your Daily fix for all the Guild news, only we would be but there is NO news. Yes Im affraid it's true, absolutly nothing has happened today. nadda, ziltch, zip, zero, diddly squat. We here at the star are forever optimistic and we are taking this as a good sign that all is well in Atlantis.

Wait what's this, some late news just comming in. Apparently there could be a massive stock market collapse in the Trade Square. Huge riots are currently sweeping through the Market instigated by fellow Guild members over Trade Rates. Well this IS disturbing, but we hear that 'John Galt' has been dispatched to the scene to try to calm things down. 'Whew' Let's hope all Atlantian's can come to some kind of understanding. The last thing we need is the economy going Belly Up, not after we just brought shares in 'Julo's' new company Julo's Jucy Bra's'.

**Other News

Luckly we DO have some other stories from around Atlantis. These came in just before print:

'Kradlum' was driving down a country road, when he spotted a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and noticed that the farmer was just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

'Kradlum' got out of the car, walked all the way out to the farmer and asked him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?". The farmer replied, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" 'Kradlum' asked, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize . . . to people who are out standing in their field."

---------------------------------

'Akbhoy67' walked into a bar, drank a couple of beers, and prepared to leave. The bartender calls out to him he owes 8 gold coins.
"But I already paid you. Don't you remember?" said 'Akbhoy67'."OK," said the bartender, "if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

So 'Akhboy67' left, goes outside and sees 'Uktrooper' walking up the road. He tells 'Uktrooper' that the bartender in that bar can't keep track of whether his customers have paid or not.On hearing this 'Uktrooper' rushed in and ordered a couple of beers.

Many beers later 'Uktrooper' pulls the same stunt as 'Akhboy67'.The barkeep replies, "OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."
'Uktrooper' left the bar satisfied and smiling. On his way out he bumped into 'd16lev' and told him how to get free drinks.

'd16lev' hurried into the bar and began to drink shorts.The bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the ***---. 'd16lev' interrupted the bartender mid word, "Don't bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

Well thats all for today Guildies. Sorry there wasn't more news to report but I guesss everyone needs a rest now and then (even 'The Star'). Don't forget to keep checking out the Guild Forum for news and entertaining updates.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #9 Thursday 11th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
*****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Hello Again Fellow Atlanteans we hope you are all enjoying this wonderful unchanging weather we are having at the moment. The sun never stops shining for the SOON to be No.1 Guild in Fel Dranghyr and the news certainly dosen't stop flooding in here at 'The Star', so without delay let's proceed.

Today saw no new joiners BUT we had no leavers either so it would seem all is well in the Guild. We knew that "Why Can't We Just All Get Along" speech written and presented by 'AceDuDe' at Ace's Pad would work. Nice one Ace.

There were a few major breakthroughs today in the field of science. 'Uktrooper' advanced up into the HMA and We've been assured is absolutly delighted. "Yeah ..(shrug) It's alright" was his response to our reporters. However both 'turbovcielka' and 'Lord Zand' moved into LMA territory earlier today. 'turbovielka' was pleased with his scientist's hard work explaining "I feed them only on the purist Honey I can make", and a secret Family recepie no doubt.

'Lord Zand's' achievements were somewhat overlooked though due to an official leak about a love affair with a nautical st******---------***(ahem, sorry about that, slight problem with the printer). 'Lord Zand' was delighted about the advancment today commenting "Look at all the NICE LOOKING STATUES". Intresting.

**Other News**

Tonight we were going to launch our first **Spotlight On** article. Yes we have a famous person here in our humble community, but unfortunatly due to some technical errors on 'The Star's' part it has been delayed. But be assured Dear Readers that it WILL be in tomorrows Issue.

Anyway here are a few stort stories for you :

'props' went to doctinys for a check-up the other day. When 'props' arrived he said, "I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what's wrong with me.""ok let's begin with a few questions," said doctiny. "Do you drink much?", "Alcohol?" said 'props'. "I'm a teetotaler. Never touch a drop.". "How about smoking?" asked doctiny."Never," replied 'props'. "Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it."

Confused with theese answers doctiny continued."Well, uh, do you have much *** life?"
"Oh, no!" said 'props'. "*** is sin. I'm in bed by 10:30 every night, and I always have been." Doctiny paused, looked hard at 'props' and asked, "Well, do you have pains in your head?"."Yes," said 'props' "I have terrible pains in my head."."Ahh I see," said doctiny. "That's your trouble. Your halo is on too tight!"

------------------------------------------

Good news for 'monarcy88' as it has been fortold by Atlantean mystic soothsayers that Forge Of Empires will be unblocked at his place of work. This is great news for the Guild but no so great news for his boss.

We only hope the Gods get it right this time as the last prediction ended with 'Genius8' completing random tasks for his city Cosmos in the hope of winning the heart of a fair maiden. This did not happen and when asked how he felt about doing 2 years of hard labour for nothing he said "It was like ****ing yourself in dark pants, warm feeling but nobody notices". What a legend.

Well thats all the news for today Guildies. Remember to look out for the next issue and please remember that if you wish to send us a story about yourself to feature in **Spotlight On** then please private message 'Burnside' directly. Thanks for reading.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #10 Friday 12th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Greetings and salutations fellow Guild members it's that time of day again where we let you in on all the lastest news from around Atlantis. Let's get cracking:

There's been no activity in recrutment but there have been whispers of one or two members spending to much time on holiday. Certain Guild members are risking eviction if they don't let the leaders know. Were sure it isn't you but to check just in case please go to the Guild Forum and look under the 'Guild Information/Discussion' Tab and then Inactive players. The last thing this paper likes doing is printing Leaving Notes.

Anyway on a much lighter note we had 2 new Age Up's today. 'King Rob and 'ageofpatels' both advanced into the High Middle Ages. Unfortunatly our reporter couldn't get an interview with them earlier today due to them having extreme hangovers and only able to slur the words "FFFUUURRRNNIIKKUUSSS". We here at 'The Star' have no idea what this means but have pleanty of theories.

**Other News**

After much delibiration among our reporters we have decided to leave this section blank today. One reason was because today we are DEFINATLY launching our **Spotlight On** section and didn't want to take away any of the 'Spotlight'(sorry) from this fantastic story. We are sure you will understand once you have read it and rest assured tomorrow will see the return of some more Guild stories.

**Spotlight On**

As previously written in a few issues back, this part of our paper is where YOU get the chance to have the 5 min's of fame treatment, writing about yourself in something that you do outside of playing this outstanding game. Tonight we are proud to present one such story. (Disclaimer)These are the actual words used by Atlantis Member 'knycknac'.

-----'knycknac's' Story -----

I am half french half English, I lived in London when I was young but spent nearly all my school holidays in France. It was here during the summer that I started to play petanque as this was and still is a game played all over France, in a similar way possibly to darts playing in the UK.

In the early 70's the British petanque associaton was formed and I was lucky enough to
qualify to represent England in 1977 at the world championshipss for the first time with subsequent caps in 1978 1980-1985 1986 1989 1991 1992.

Then when I moved to Ireland in 1993 and I was given permission to represent Ireland and from 1996 I have done so yearly till 2008.
When the world championships became a 2 yearly event with qualifiaction being needed through
zonal groups Ireland did not qualify for 2010.

My highest position in the World Championsips has been a quarter final spot
with a last 16 spot on 3 occasions.

I have also taken part in 2 Corporate World championships 1987 and 1991
winning the event in 1991

As for national championships I have won in England
the National triples on 9 occasion
the National double on 8 occasion
the National singles on 3 occasions

As for regional and other major competitions the list is huge since playing in Ireland I have won
the National triples on 9 occasions
the National doubles on 10 occasions
the National singles on 5 occasions

Since 2010 I play a lot less as I have taken up playing bridge again where i am looking to represent Ireland in the not to distant future.

I recently (Last week) played in the World ChampionshipsPat petanque
Play started on Friday morning at 8am thankfully the Belgiums were still not fully awake and missed a few shots enabling us to have some hope, but once they got the sand out of there eyes our faint hopes of an early upset vanished.
Having lost we then played Mexico which was our easiest game as their shooting standards were the weakest of all the countries we played which meant that Pierres (Team member) points were often making them play most if not all of their boules.

We followed this game with matches against Finland, Benin and the USA in the first round of the Swiss system, all of these games we were outplayed and lost.

Into the plate we went and were handed a tough draw first playing Denmark followed by Chad and hence our playing time was over, so we sat back and watched the top teams playing, enjoying some very tight games as well as the near perfection from Dylan Rocher shooting who is already being considered as the BEST shooter of all time (not a shot missed in the quarter/semi/finals) with only 4 of those shots not being carreaus.

The French needless to say won the tournament with ease, never looking under any real threat. Their preparation before and during the tournament is something unbelievable.
I am sorry to say that my daughter sadly does not have the same passion for petanque as I do,
but has a passion for horses and has represented Ireland at pony club level -though know she has moved to racing and got her racing licence last year.

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Well that's it for today Folks.Thank you 'knycknac' for that fantastic insight, and remember if you wish to see yourself in the **Spotlight** please send your story via Private Message directly to our Editor 'Burnside'. See you tomorrow readers.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #11 Saturday 13th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good Morrow Good Morrow Fellow Guildies. Another week passes by and it seems like only yesterday that this fine paper was first published in a tiny shed behind 'prefect's'printers. But just as the Guild had grown in the last few weeks so has 'The Star' and no more sheds.

We had 1 new member join Atlantis today. Im sure you will join us in wishing 'dommie' good fortunes and bountifull harvests for the time he is with us. The Atlantean Gods always like to see a high scorer join their ranks and 'John Galt' has been gifted the title 'Guru Recruiter' for the forseeable future. Great work 'John Galt'.

No new tech advances today, must be a weekend thing.

Unfortunatly we had to say Fairwell to 'Rhiannon2' after she ran away 'dancin' with tears in her eyes'. It seems she never DID get over 'Lord Zand' ****ing all over her roses (she did love those roses) and spent the next 2 weeks trying to get rid of the stench to no avail. 'Rhiannon2's' city now lies in ruin and small parts of it are being sold of at local auction houses across Atlantis in the form of Tower Ruins.

**Other News**

Were back today with some intresting stories from around our bustling Guild:

Old 'Donalddo' was rocking on his porch when he saw a young kid with his fishing pole walking down the dirt road. "Where you goin' with that pole?" old 'D' calls. "Gonna git me some fish with this here fishing pole!" answered the kid. Sure enough, as the sun is setting old 'Donalddo' sees the kid going home with a bucket of fish.

Next day, old 'Donalddo' is rocking on his porch when he sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some duct tape. "Where you goin' with that?" old 'D' calls. "Gonna git me some ducks with this here tape!" answers the kid. "You can't git no ducks with tape!" hollers old 'Donalddo'. But sure enough, as the sun is setting old Donalddo sees the kid going home with the tape strung out behind him and ducks stuck all over it!

Next day, old 'Donalddo' is rocking on his porch and sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some chicken wire. "Where you going with that?" he calls. "Gonna get me some chickens with this wire!" answers the kid. "You can't get no chickens with wire!" hollers old 'D'. But sure enough, as the sun is setting old Donalddo sees the kid going home with the wire strung out behind him and chickens stuck all through it!

Next day, old 'Donalddo' is rocking on his porch and sees the kid walking down the dirt road with some ***** willows. "Now hold on just a minute" calls old 'Donalddo', "wait while I get my hat!!"

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'mmarrkk2012' was running down a country road and was startled by a horse yelling at him. "Hey-come over hear buddy". 'mmarrkk2012' was a little stunned but ran over to the fence where the horse was standing and asks "Were you talking to me"? The horse replies "Sure was, man I've got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plow and I'm sick of it. Why don't you run up to the house and offer him 5,000 gold coins to buy me. I'll make you some money cause I can still run."

'mmarrkk2012' thinks to himself,"boy a talking horse". Gold coin signs started appearing in his head. So he ran to the house where the old farmer was sitting on his porch. 'mmarrkk2012' told the farmer "Hey, I'll give you 5,000 gold coins for that old broken down nag you've got in the field". The farmer replied "Son you can't believe anything that horse says, he's never even been to Kentucky.

One more reason to never trust a horse we say. They always have another agenda to your own.

We come to the end of another edition of 'The Star' and although we all here feel your pain you can rejoice with the knowledge that we will be back same time same place tomorrow. So until then keep on treckin' ...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #12 Sunday 14th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good day fellow Atlantian's 'The Star' has returned for you daily dose of Guild news, Guild stories and all the tittle tattle inbetween. As we come to end of another fine weekend of Guild activity, trading and the odd argument, our 'Guru' Guild Recruiter 'John Galt' hasn't stopped to rest yet, as we are about to find out. So on with the Gossi..-- Uhhh..I mean News.

Today saw 1 new member join the Atlantis Ranks. 'Raxpool' managed to slip into our Guild just in time earlier tonight, just as those vast Atlantis Gates were closing. One of our reporters was handly on the scene as it happened and got this response from a panting 'Raxpool'. "When I saw the gates closing I knew I had two options. It was either my mug of ale or my place in the Great Guild that is Atlantis. The decision was easy as you can see". After which 'Raxpool' immediatly asked our reporter if he could lend him 100 coin. Our reporter kindly refused.

With all this commotion at the Guilds Front entrance it later transpired that no one was watching the Back entrance. Due to this mistake one of our more volatile Guild Members (who was later found out to be 'Martin993') managed to slip away unseen. He was currently on a day release to visit his Aunt Gilda when he made a dash for the back door and escaped. He WAS serving a 3 month sentence for breach of peace for yelling obscenities and making lurid advances at a passing Goat. A warning has been released to all farmers to lock up their Goats tonight. You have been Warned.

We have no news today regarding tech advances. Another day off for our scientists. Either that or something has gone very wrong in a lab somewhere. Come to think of it there was that big cloud of black smoke earlier.Hmmm...

**Other News**

Timmy (not the woodchuck chucker's son but the wookchuck chucker's mate's son) was rescued from a well earlier today by 'tarantula's' pet spider Gizmo. The achracnid apparently saw the accident and scuttled off to find 'tarantula' to warn him about someone in great danger. 'tarantula' imediatly understood Gizmo and summoned a rescue party to save Timmy from drowning. After the event Gizmo was knighted and given rare amazonian fly's as a treat. Well done Gizmo.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

M3gatron, Akil.gupta, tim1313 and monarchy88 went fishing.
After an hour, the following conversation took place.

M3gatron: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.

Akil.gupta: " that's nothing, I had to promise that I will build her a new deck for the pool.

tim1313: " Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her".

They continued to fish when they realized that monarchy88 had not said a word. So they asked him "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

monarchy88: " I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, " Fishing or ***" and she said, " Wear a Sweater."

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Well another weekend ends and so must this issue of 'The Star'. We hope you have enjoyed our little read and hope to see you all next time. Remember to keep on supporting each other and if you have a story you would like to submit to us then please P/M 'Lord Zand' directly as 'Burnside' is currently working undercover on a top secret report and is currently unavailable via P/M. Thanks again TA TA..

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #13 Monday 15th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Hi Guildies, it's another issue of 'The Star' at your door. And with the start of the new week comes the start of some fresh Guild news to keep you happy and entertained. On with the Show:

Atlantis saw 1 new member join today so lets have a big warm welcome to 'Kolokoy'. We managed to get an interview with him earlier, here's what he had to say. "I may have a small score and be currently last place in the Guild but I AM NOT A LEECH and I SUPPORT ALL GUILD MEMBERS which I think makes up for it". We shall take his word on that.

However to make way for Mr 'no leeches here' we had to say goodbye to 'King Lucci'. He decided earlier today that he wished to embark on his life long ambition of collecting the few worldly goods not available in our fine Guild Market Square. There is a possibility that 'King Lucci' may return one day but 'The Star' has been given no indication by The King or other parties when this day might be. We wish him luck on his enormous journey.

After a weekend of slow scientific breakthroughs, today has seen Guildies labs positivly charged with electrifying news. 'DARK DDT' and 'monarchy88' both made it up into the HMA and seemed pleased with their results. "YAHOO" was 'monarchy88's' reply but 'DARK DDT' was slightly less enthusiastic saying "EVIL, EVIL ITS ALL EVIL". Right Em Yes ...

More techy news because 'blzbob' and our new recruit 'dommie' advanced into the LMA later today. Our reporter was able to get a few words from both members. "This is a far more refined Age. My people have longed for their own Estate Houses and I am glad I can now fulfill their wishes" said a smarter looking than yesterday 'dommie'. We can only guess someone did lend him the 100 gold he seeked. 'blzbob' on the other hand said "Burn, Burn It All. I would if I could, Burn, hot, hot, ummmmm...". Our reporter has since enrolled on a new therapy course, Get well soon Gilbert.

**Other News**

Intresting tid bits from around Atlantis:

'John Galt', 'Julo', and 'ageofpatels' were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They each bought five one gold coin tickets, seeing as it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize.

'John Galt' won the first prize - a whole year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce.'Julo' was the winner of the second prize - six month's supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti.'ageofpatels' won the third prize - a toilet brush.

When they met in the pub a week later, the inn keeper asked them how they were enjoying their raffle prizes.

"Great," said 'John Galt'. "I love spaghetti". "So do I," said 'Julo'. "I love my prize". "And how's the toilet brush, 'ageofpatels'"?

"Not so good", said, 'ageofpatels' "I reckon I'll go back to paper..."

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'knycknac' stumbles up to the only other person in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why, of course," comes the reply.
'knycknac' then asks, "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
'knycknac' responds, "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of course," says the second man.

Ever curious, 'knycknac't asks, "Where in Ireland?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it, me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin". "Of course."
'knycknac' can't help himself so he asks, "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's", replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is becoming unbelievable!!!" 'knycknac' said.

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's up?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The 'Kycknac' twins are drunk again".

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Well there you go, not only did 'ageofpatels' get a brush up the Jaxy but we also found out that there are two 'knycknac's'. Which means we have two stars in our Guild. No wait uh is someone pulling our leg here .. hmmm.. anyway thats all from us here at 'The Star' today. Make sure to keep checking our Guild Forum for trade deals and excess goods lists aswell as some intresting descissions. Till tomorrow Guildies.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #14 Tuesday 16th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

"O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?". Ahh.. what a fine peice of literature. Which reminds us of another fine peice of literature, Yes you guessed it 'The Star', here once again to enlighten you with intresting stories from inside the great Atlantian walls that protect us all. Let's find out what happened today shall we ...

No new members to report about today, however 'mmarrkk2012' came close to leaving the Guild after he was involved in an argument with his neighbour 'Lord Farral'. According to inside sources 'Lord Farral' was reminiscing with 'mmarrkk2012' about the time he was kidnapped by 'Naked Warriors'. He apparently then began to use psyical interpretations of some of the events and the whole scene became very messy. 'mmarrkk2012' was enraged and ordered 'Lord Farral' to stop explaining his exploits in so much ...detail. When 'Lord Farral' refused saying "it's my right to bare all as a Frontier Man" the said argument insued. Luckly The whole mess was sorted out when 'mmarrkk2012' pointed out to 'Lord Farral' that it was his right to 'bare arms' not 'bare all''. We're all glad that got sorted out.

Just 1 advancement in the Atlantis labs today for 'teratel' who enters the LMA. When asked earlier by one of our reporters how he felt after such a huge landmark in technology he replied "I Don't care about any tech advancement just Polish My BITS ta... oh and I don't trade with attackers". Well there you are, a man who clearly dosn't get his bits polished enough.
NOTE: Must polish 'teratel's' bits!!

**Other News**

Just one story today for your reading pleasure (it's rather long) :

'sdragonfun' stormed into a local bar today and demanded, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I'm so mad, I can't even see straight." The bartender, noticed that he was a bit the worse for wear, so poured him a double of Southern Comfort. 'sdragonfun' swilled down the drink and said, "Gimme another one." The bartender poured the drink, but then said, "Now, before I give you this, why don't you let off a little steam and tell me why you're so upset?"

So, 'sdragonfun' began to tell his tale. "Well, I was sitting in the bar next door, when this gorgeous blonde serving wench slinks in and actually sits beside me at the bar. I thought, "Wow, this has never happened before." You know, it was kind of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of minutes later, the blonde leans over and asks if I'd like to come back to her place to have dinner and to talk for a while. I couldn't believe this was happening, and I hadn't had a good meal in quite a while. I managed to nod my head yes, so she grabs my hand and starts walking out of the bar. This seemed just too good to be true."

"She took me down an Atlantian street to a nice hovel and up to her room. She said to relax, read the Atlantis Star, and that she would get the meal ready in a few minutes. But, as soon as I put my feet up and reclined my chair, I heard some keys jingling and someone starts fumbling with the door."

"The blonde says, 'Oh my god, it's my boyfriend. He must have lost his wrestling match tonight, he's gonna be real mad. Quick, hide!'"
"So, I opened the closet, but I figured that was probably the first place he would look, so I didn't hide there. Then I looked under the bed, but no, I figured he's bound to look there, too. By now, I could hear the key in the lock. I noticed the window was open, so I climbed out and was hanging there by my fingers, praying that the guy wouldn't see me."

The bartender, who looked amazed with the story, said "Well I can see how you might be a bit frustrated at this point."
"Well, yeah, but I hear the guy finally get the door open and he yells out, 'Who you been with now, you witch?' The girl says, 'Nobody, honey, now calm down.'"

"Well, the guy starts tearing up the room. I hear him tear the door off the closet and throw it across the room. I'm thinking, 'Boy, I'm glad I didn't hide in there.' Then I hear him lift up the bed and throw it across the room. Good thing I didn't hide under there either. Then I heard him say, 'What's that over there by the window?' I think, 'Oh God, I'm dead meat now.'
But, the blonde by now is trying real hard to distract him and convince him to stop looking. Well, I hear the guy go into the bathroom and I hear water running for a long time; I figure maybe he's gonna take a bath or something, when all of a sudden, the jerk pours a pitcher of scalding hot water out of the window right on top of my head. I mean, look at this, I got second degree burns all over my scalp and shoulders!"

The bartender said, "Oh man, that would have gotten me mad for sure." "No, that didn't really bother me. Next, the guy starts slamming the window shut over and over on my hands. I mean, look at my fingers. They're a bloody mess. I can hardly hold onto this glass."
The bartender looked at 'sdragonfun's' hands and said, "Yeah, buddy, I can understand why you are so upset". "No, that wasn't what really got me so angry though." exhailed 'sdragonfun'

The bartender then asks in exasperation, "Well, then, what did finally make you angry?"
"Well, I was hanging on the window, and I turned around and looked down--I was only about six inches off the ground."
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So there you have it folks, another issue of 'The Star' printed and sent out to all Atlantis Guild Members Free Of Charge. We at the 'The Star' appreciate all your fantastic past and present comments and will endeavour to continue to bring this unique Guild Daily for your reading amuzement for the forseeable future. Happy building ....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #15 Wednesday 17th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good day to you all fellow Guildies and what a glorious day it is. With so much happening within the Atlantis Guild it was a struggle to fit it all into one issue, but (somehow) we succeded so on with the good stuff...

We had 1 new joinee today. 'spurdensda' has entered into the Guild with an impressive city and score. However in our interview he seemed quite disstressed, "My city maybe nice but im sure it can be nicer. A little cleaning and polishing and it'll look as good as new". We believe that this is a little hint towards all our Guildies to get over to 'spurdensda's' city and help him out. We're quite sure the people of Atlantis will oblige.

However around the same time 'spurdensda' joined our Guild, 'Heboric' left the Guild. He was kicked out of his city and Atlantis by his long suffering wife Gurtrude, who had finally had enough of his lazy manner and attitude. Our reporter managed to get a few words from her as she was coming back from the Guild gate. "He would spend all day on his backside doing nothing to help the people of his city. Well enough is enough, that low down, good for nothing, lazyass cretin is gone. For Good". Hmmm... never underestimate the power of women. A lesson for us all.

Today saw plenty of new scientific breakthroughs. 'Mari Posa' climbed up into the HMA exclaiming that her "fair and benevolent leadership" was the secret to unlocking the way forward.

Also 'John Galt' and 'Donalddo' both advanced into the LMA today. "We are proud of our achievements here today" said a jovial 'John Galt'. "Indeed yes, our scientists have really come good this day" said a happy 'Donalddo' after which he made a quick getaway for the fish buffet.

This is great news for all members of Atlantis as the diversity of the Guild is always changing and growing, bringing with it many new possibilties.

**Other News**

There were strange noises reported last night eminating from 'goblinking's' city 'The Den'. The noises apparently "sounded like word's" said the witness who reported the event but couldn't make out what these words were. The witness has agreed to return tonight with a recorder to try to get some of the noises on tape. We wish him luck and hope to report on what these strange occurences in 'goblinking's' city are. Watch this space readers..

'The Star' is happy to report that our Editor 'Burnside' has returned from his undercover work and is now safely back inside the paper's office. He has assured us that he will get back to the job of Editor of 'The Star' in the next day or so, as he has had some bad luck with his city's cess pool which flodded while he was away. Phewwwee ... we wondered what that smell was. Im sure if anyone can get it sorted 'Burnside' can. As for his report, we will be publishing it in a few days so keep checking us out or you might just miss it.

Lastly today, 'Ujka Sam' was involved in an argument with the local Atlantis Fair Trading Council (AFTC) over apparant hoarding of the good 'Dried Herbs'. The AFTC exclaimed that 'Ujka Sam' was not supplying other cities with this vital resource due to extreme hoarding and wished to fine 'Ujka Sam'. 'Ujka Sam' on the other hand explained that it had been produced for personal use only and was never meant to be sold outside 'Rastafari'. The AFTC did not believe 'Ujka Sam' that it was for personal use until he showed them how many 'Dried Herbs' he used in an hour. The AFTC soon agreed that it was for personal use and quickly left..giggiling whilst they did.

So that's it for todays issue of 'The Star' Guildies. Another ish ticked off the list. Good luck with all your endeavours and see you again soon. Bye Bye peeps.....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #15 Wednesday 17th October 2012

Issue #16 Thursday 18th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Well Well Well would you believe it. There's bugger all news. We know, we can't believe it either. Here we are a respectable paper forced to make up fake stories just to please the Guild masses. It's a shocking state of affairs but .... Hang on, It seemes something has happened today after all. 'HORAY' well thats Great news so..uh..on with the News:

Well When I said something happened today it wasn't to do with new members or old leavers so we can skip this part.

But YES we did have a tech advancement earlier today. Woohoo .. I'm just so happy I co.... Ahem, yes well our reporter told us that 'jimmyhig' took a bold step up into the LMA. He also managed to get 'jimmyhig' to say a few words in response to this momentus occation "This is a great day not just for my scientists but for everyone in Kazimierz. Onwards and forever upwards". We're sure 'jimmyhig' will benifit greatly from this new age and wish him the best of patience and luck on achieving his next goal the CA.

**Other News**

Thankfully we do have one story from around the Guild today. We found it under a stack of 'The Atlantis Star' Issue No1 papers. Hmm...maybe everyone was away that day ... anyway, here it is enjoy:

'John Galt','chemaster' and 'Fox79' walked into the Atlantis pet shop and right away they went over to the bird section. The shop assistant came over and asked if he could help them."Yeah" said 'John Galt' "I'll take one of those birds there". "And I'LL take one of those said 'chemaster'. "And one of those for me, oh and can you gift wrap them for us" said 'Fox79'.

The assistant did as they requested, then they paid for the birds and left the shop. They got into 'John Galt's' horse cart and rode hard until they were high up in the hills. They stopped at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop.

"This looks like a grand place. Eh?" said 'John Galt'. He then took his bird out of the bag, placed it on his shoulder and jumps off the cliff. 'chemaster' and 'Fox79' watched as 'John Galt' dropped straight down and then 'SPLATTERED' on the ground far below. As 'chemaster' looked over the edge of the cliff he shaked his head and said "Bugger that, that budgie jumpin' is too dangerous for me".

A minute later 'chemaster' pulled a parrot out of his bag, and then 'Fox79' noticed that in his other hand 'chemaster' was carrying a gun. "Hey watch this said 'chemaster' and launched himself over the edge of the cliff. 'Fox79' watched as half way down, 'chemaster' took out the gun and blew the parrot's head off with it.

'chemaster' continued to plummet until there was another 'SPLAT'!, as he joined 'John Galt' in a heap on the ground at the bottom of the cliff. 'Fox79' shook his head and said, "And I'm never tryin that parrotshooting again."

A few minutes later 'Fox79' pulled a chicken out of his bag, and launches himself off the cliff with the usual result. Just as 'Fox79' hit the ground 'MrJism' happened to be walking past. He looked over the cliff and shook his head " Damn me I'm never ever doing that hengliding".

So there you have it. Some top 'Star' advice, we recommend you never try any of the above at home. Not unless you can't take anymore of the pure mundainity of life and wish to end it all, then please go ahead. No don't , no really don't we were joking. Anyway thats it for todays issue of 'The Atlantis Star'. Not a very long issue we know but we hope it brought you a little happiness. Untill next time Atlantis...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 
Last edited by a moderator:

DeletedUser

Issue #17 Friday 18th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Hello again Guildies it's 'The Star' here bringing you news, reviews and pullouts (well maybe not the later two) for your reading entertainment. After yesterdays abismal effort we have strived to bring you more news today than ever before ...maybe.. so without futher delay lets proceed.

All is well inside the Guild. With no one leaving there is no space for newcommers so this section is rather quiet today. There were some trading issues earlier at the Atlantis Market Square with a shortage of Dry Herbs, however this matter was soon rectified when 'Ujka Sam' released emergency supplies of Dried Herbs and flooded the market. "The Rasta Warrior to the rescue" he was overherd shouting whilst listening to some very loud Bob Marley Music. Thanks 'Ujka Sam'.

Some activity in the labs also today with 'chemaster' advancing into the LMA. We managed to get some words from him just after hosting one of the biggest banquets known to mankind, "I ..(hicup)..Jusssst want to ssssay...(hicup)...Thank yooooouuuu alllll....(hicup)...For coming toooo my bannnquett..(hicup). We here at 'The Star' love a good party (nudge,nudge) and hope that 'chemaster' feels better soon.

It has been brought to 'The Star's' attention that a few days ago our Guild Founder and Leader 'John Galt' discovered a Diamond vein in his city by his builders as they were digging the foundations for his new church. After some slight mathematical mesurements he has disclosed to 'The Star' that the vein will produce approximatly 300 Diamonds. This is great news for 'John Galt' but even better news for Atlantis. 'John Galt' has decided to kindly donate the Diamonds to the Guild to go towards a new 'Premium' Guild Flag.

However this is no easy decision for one person alone so in order to make sure that Atlantis remains democratic 'John Galt' has posted a Poll on the Guild Forum. You will find it under the POLLS TAB (obviously). We reccomend that ALL GUILD MEMBERS participate in this poll as it could lead to a new unique Guild Flag (which would be the FIRST 'Premium' Flag in Fel Dranghyr). Please read the rules of the poll carefully before you vote and feel free to leave a message in the thread about your decision or any questions you may have. 'John Galt' and everyone at 'The Star' would really appreciate it if you could take the time to help us out.

**Other News**

We seem to have a returning theme with our stories today. Birds. Always Birds. More specificly Parrots. Our Guild Members must sure love em', so get your eyeballs stuck into this little tale:

Two days ago 'moff' recieved a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that wern't expletives were, to say the least, rude. Over the next few days 'moff' tried his hardest to change the parrots attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example.

But alas Nothing worked. He yelled at the parrot and the parrot yelled back. He shook the parrot and the parrot just got more angry and more rude.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, 'moff' put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he heard the parrot squawk and kick and scream. Then suddenly there was quiet. Not a sound for half a minute. 'moff' was now concerned that he might have hurt the parrot and so quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto 'moff's' extended arm and said, "I believe that I might have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavor to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."

'moff' was astonished at the parrots change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what the chicken did?"

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'wizofwoz' and 'seamonkey' have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. 'wizofwoz' has been having no luck at all but 'seamonkey' has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. 'wizofwoz' finally leans over and asks 'seamonkey' what his secrect is.

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm" mumbled 'seamonkey'.

"I'm sorry, what did you say" said 'wizofwoz'.

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm" mumbled 'seamonkey'.

"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you" said 'wizofwoz'.

'seamonket' spat something into his hand and said "You've got to keep your worms warm".

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So there's the news Atlantians. Hope you enjoyed the read and remember to check out that poll. Untill we meet again "Don't know where, Don't know when" well actually it's tomorrow, so until then TA RA from all at 'The Star'...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #18 Saturday 19th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Hello Guildies, the weekend is appon us once again and with it comes plenty of activity and news in and from around Atlantis. We must begin by rectifying what was printed in yesterday's issue regarding the 'Premium' Flag poll. It was discovered only moments after print that no Guildies could access the flag screen and therefore were not able to choose a flag to vote for.

We appologise for this mistake which we are happy to report has been rectified by way of a picture that shows all 'premium' Guild Flags with their corresponding numbers. Use the links in the Forum. Hopefully this will now make things a little more clearer for all Guildies wishing to vote. Whew...glad we got that cleared up. The last thing we need here at 'The Star' is a lawsuit, not after we just spent all our money on a new printer, the Turbo Mega Press X1666.

The weekend shows no sign of change in recruitment. All is A'OK in Atlantis.

There have been 2 advancements in age with 'pradeepprotex' and 'Kolokoy' both moving up into the HMA. Our roving reporter got a few words from both of them after their breakthroughs were announced. "This is Great News I'm so excited" stated 'Kolokoy', "Now enough babble and give me Jewelry...Do you Hear Me....JEWELRY....NOWWWWWWW". Hmmm...problems there we think...but 'predeepprotex's' response wasn't much better saying "It brings me one step closer to the way back to HELL. HAAA HAA HAAA". Congratulations to you both from all of us at 'The Star' (please don't hurt us).

We have had a request by our Guild Founder 'John Galt' to print some information about an activity starting on the main FoE Forum. It is a fun competition where you can enter a Halloween/Ghost Story that you have written. To find out more use this link: http://forum.en.forgeofempires.com/showthread.php?6725-Halloween-event-discussion.

**Other News**

Here are some weekend howlers to brighten your spirits:

One day, 'kradlum' walked into a bar and asked the bartender for the strongest thing in the bar. "What's wrong, fella?" asked the bartender. "Some things you just can't explain" replied 'kradlum'. "Try me" said the bartender.

"Alright if you say so" said 'kradlum' and began to tell the bartender his tale. "I was milking my cow this morning and I filled the bucket clear to the top. Then the dumb cow knocked it down with her left leg, so I grabbed some string and ties her left leg up. Then I milked her again and the stupid cow knocked it down with her right leg. So I grabbed some string and tied up her right leg. I then milked her again and the cow knocked it down with her tail. But this time I was out of string, so I decided to use my belt, so I tied it up with my belt. Just then my pants fell down and my wife walked in."

"You're right," said the bartender. "Some things you just can't explain."

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'doctiny628' walked into the dentist's office the other day and said, "I think I'm a moth".
The dentist replied "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist...
'doctiny628' replied, "I am already seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist then said, "Well then what are you doing here?"
'doctiny628' repiled, "Your light was on."

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So 'doctiny628' is a moth eh, each to their own we guess and as for 'kradlum'...well...we only hope his wife understands the missunderstanding over the cow incident. Or maybe he should tell the truth (yes we know 'kradlum'). But even after all these revelations we must come to an end. Make sure not to miss tomorrow's Issue of 'The Star' which will feature a special report by our Editor 'Burnside' and leaked information regarding a new Atlantis Football League currently being organised by our skillfull Guild Leaders. See you Tomorrow Guildies...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #19 Sunday 21th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

"Here we go, here we go, here we go....Here we go, here we go, here we goooooooooooo". There's football fever in the air here at 'The Star' today fellow Guildies. After the sneek peek that was mentioned at the end of last issue the entire Guild was stirred up with rumours about what it could mean.

Fear not Atlantis for all was revealed earlier today by our Editor 'Burnside' with a P/M to every Guild Member which explained everything you needed to know about the new football league. What makes this news even better is that we are the proud sponsers of this new Atlantis Football League (AFL) and we will be providing you with the latest exclusive reports and match results printed all here in our little paper.

What makes this even better than the news that came before this and before this, that, is that if it wasn't for this announcement there would be nothing else to report about today. Yes it's true, again we have no news except for the above announcement to mention. No new members, no leavers, no advancements, no nothing. But nevermind about all that, because what we do have for you is an exclusive report made by our roving editor 'Burnside' about his travels within the Guild. So all is not lost.

**Other News**

Following the city visits made by 'Burnside' he returned to 'The Star' HQ today with blistered feet and a sunburnt nose.

"I could only make it around half of them" he said panting like a dog, "My donkey collapsed and refused to budge an inch further despite being offered three carrots and an apple, then my shoes wore out and the mean buggers would'nt give me any unless I paid for em, and you ought to see the prices they were asking, scandalous to say the least".And the expenses this rag gives me would'nt buy a pair, and I'm not paying for any out of my own pocket"

After we stopped him going on and on and on (sounds familiar), we eventually sat him down to write up his report and here it is:

40 cities in total were visited at random, of these only 6 refused to answer the door, it was later found out that these were actually abandoned cities and their Lords or Ladies were expelled from Atlantis, thus leaving results from 34. (Hey he can count).

Of those 34 all were very satisfied with the guild.
33 out of 34 were very satisfied with the guild leadership with 1 being fairly satisfied (He has now changed his mind to very satisfied after being hung up by his toes for 7 days).

30 out of 34 were very satisfied with the amount of polishing and motivation they recieved and the other 4 were fairly satisfied.

33 out of 34 were very satisfied with trading opportunities with 1 (Yes the same one) being fairly satisfied.

There were 3 suggestions made by members to improve the guild, all of these suggestions were already in the process of being acted upon by various leaders and have now been implemented.

There were 2 main areas of contention:

1. Polishing and Motivating: Quite a few of you mentioned that some members were not 'Doing their fair share' and rarely bothered. Following the survey carried out by Donalddo, Genius8 and Slyfoxy and subsequent reminders sent out to individuals this no longer seems an issue, and thanks must go to those three members for their time and effort.

The other problem with this issue was the placing of preferences on profiles, some still do not have their preferences on at all and at least 1 member said that he was not going to put it on his city name because it was not part of his city name and never would be, however he has put it into the text of his city.

This issue and argument could go on and on (A bit like Burnside when he returned Hehe). However, It is thought that this is a minor problem, each player plays the game in a different way and quite rightly so, it would be very boring if we were all the same now would'nt it.

2: The second issue surounded the ability (Or not) of being able to ask for trade or P/M via an all members message, some thought there were too many messages going out and others thought taht the all members message system was a good communication tool and let others know they were online. Without the facility of a guild chat room we will not get that kind of interaction and to continue with the amount of all members messages we were getting at that time was unrealistic. As a consequence the deision was made for the all members message facility to be turned off and messages put through a guild forum thread. We will have to wait and see if this is the solution.

To sum up: It appears that the guild is doing very well and the majority of members are very satisfied, (long may it continue), The hard work is paying off and if we all push that little harder we can catch the number 1 spot, however, this is not a priority, what is, is that the guild is succesful, and helps players advance by its diverse opportunities and entertainment.

Burnside would like to thank all those who entertained him in their cities whilst he was on tour.

The leadership would still welcome any ideas and suggestions (no matter how trivial you may think they are) by placing them in the appropriate guild thread, with your help we can only grow better and stronger.... Long live Atlantis.

NEW**Sports News**

This is a new section to 'The Star' that we will be launching when the Football League is up and running. It will contain daily and or weekly game results (this has not been decided yet) and plenty of naughty revelations and juicy stories from within the footballing community.

Speaking of one such scandalous story, it was earlier discovered that 'Slyfoxy' was trying to impersonate 'Burnside' one of the Atlantis Football League's (AFL) top officials. Luckly he was spotted by our ever watchful Editor 'Burnside' and has been punished accordingly. We're more intrested in why "the said Mrs Burnside" was at 'Slyfoxy's' house in the first place. Oooo...how deep does the rabbit hole go we wonder.

That's the sort of story that only comes around every few months, so what luck it happened to come out just as we were launching our new section. Not only that another certain Editor at 'The Star' (no names) is very happy in that he now has something to use against 'Burnside' for the
--"Dog Turd In The Top Desk Drawer Prank"-- which he is quite aware about. Moving onwards..

So thats all from 'The Star' today Guildies. Hopefully your daily news fix has been satisfied and remember that if you wish to have your say about yourself in our **Spotlight On** feature then P/M 'Burnside' directly. See you tomorrow...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
 

DeletedUser

Issue #20 Monday 22nd October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

"Woohoo, Yay" POP - POP. Hello mighty Atlantians come and join our party as we celibrate the launch of the *20TH* Issue of 'The Atlantis Star'. Thats right guildies our unique little daily paper is officially 20 days old. It's hard to imagine now the humble beginings of 'The Star'. Late hours in the office, dodgy printers packing up all the time, 'mmarrkk2012's' kids swapping printer letters (those scamps) all to bring you the best news from around Atlantis.

And we suceeded because look at us now. The most desired object in the whole of Fel Dranghyr, sponsors of major sporting events, winner of countless competitions (ok only one) and a whole host of loving fans from within the Guild to support us. And its all possible because of you the dedicated members of Atlantis. Without your constant support and activity our paper would be full of fake tripe, and no one wants that. So come and take a peice of cake and grab a tankard of cool beer as we uncover todays Guild news.

We had 2 advanvements today in the Guild Alchemy labs. 'Fox79' and 'akhil.gupta' both made the leep into the LMA and boy were they happy about it. "Im having a pool party to celebrate. Everyone is invited to my Public Bath for a splashing good time...nude only" exclaimed 'Fox79'. As for 'akhil.gupta', his response was somewhat animalistic saying "GROWL, im a Tiger". We can only guess that the name of his city is rubbing off on him.

A small reminder from 'Burnside' to all Guildies. Don't forget to enter you football team name on the forum for the upcomming AFL. Unless you enter soon you may miss your chance to partake in this prestidious sporting event which is sponsered by 'The Star' no less.

**Other News**

How about some stories to keep you in the partying mood:

'reem11' has about 200 hens on his farm but no rooster and he wants chicks.
So, he goes down the road to the next farm and asks 'm-o-r-e-7-6' if he has a rooster which he would be willing to sell. 'm-o-r-e-7-6' says, "Yeah, I’ve got this great rooster named Chuck. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem."

Well, Chuck the rooster costs a lot of money, but 'reem11' decides he’d be worth it. So, he buys Chuck. He takes Chuck home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk, "Chuck, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I’ll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," said 'reem11' with a chuckle.

Chuck seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Chuck took off like a shot. - WHAM! - Chuck nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Chuck is in there. Later, the farmer sees Chuck after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again, - WHAM! - He gets all the geese.

By sunset he sees Chuck out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. 'reem11' is distraught—worried that his expensive rooster won’t even last 24 hours. Sure enough, 'reem11' goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Chuck dead as a doorknob—stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

'reem11' saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh Chuck, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you’ve done to yourself."

Chuck opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh, they’re getting closer....."

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'Akbhoy67', 'mmarrkk2012' and 'doctiny628' got on a boat to go and visit 'Donalddo' but the boat sank and the threee of them ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around the Atlanits Ocean for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when they pulled the cork out of the bottle, a genie appeared.

'I'll grant each of you a single wish,' said the genie.

'I wish I was home,' said 'Akbhoy67'. Then, poof! he disappeared.
'I wish I was home, too,' said 'mmarrkk2012' and Poof! He disappeared too.
'doctiny628' looked around. 'Gee, I'm kind of lonely,' he said. 'I wish my friends were here with me.'

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With friends like that who needs gallows eh ... we do hope Chuck makes it with the buzzards and maybe even 'reem11' himself. Two cocks and all that. But we must end todays issue with a big thank you from all at 'The Star' to 'John Galt' out Guild Founder. For without his foresight and genius this Guild and thus this paper would not even exist. Great work John. Catch you all tomorrow ...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors: Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 
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