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Guild Fel Dranghyr (en6) - Atlantis: Guild Daily Journal

John Galt

Issue #40 Monday 12th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

So it's the beginning of a new week and with it brings new problems to solve and new gossip to report. 'The Star' had an eventful weekend so we look upon this week as a fresh start for all things concerned. Today has seen all manner of achievements so maybe we should get on with telling you about them.

Today saw 1 returning player rejoin Atlantis. 'blzbob' was last seen heading back to Hell in order to pay 'pradeepprotex' a visit leaving Atlantis in the process. However when he arrived in Flame Land he found that 'pradeepprotex' had left to go and visit him. This mix up was most unfortunate but 'blzbob' has returned to Atlantis and by begging for 5h was allowed entrance once again into Atlantis by our Leader 'John Galt'. Both 'blzbob' and 'pradeepprotex' have now met once again and are apparently enjoying each other’s company.

This turn of events has lead to 'empted' being kicked from the Guild. He was found dead on the steps of 'Hokage14's' Public Bath covered in women’s swim suits. When 'doctiny628' was eventually called he diagnosed that 'empted' had died of a Heart Attack or natural causes. The Atlantis Police Force (APF) has not yet decided whether or not the swim suits are a factor in the case but 'Hokage14' said a few words to our reporter as 'empted's' lifeless body was being kicked out the front doors of Atlantis by 'John Galt. "I really don't know what happened; we had just come back from our weekend match and decided to go nude for our daily rubdown. Big deal". 'Hokage14' obviously underestimated the one weakness of a man.

Science news now and 2 Guildies make that eternally long process of moving into a new age. 'Lord Farral' has advanced into the LMA which is just as well seeing as he is our eyes at the frontier. "We need the best technology available at all time here at the frontlines" was his response to the news. We couldn't agree more 'Lord Farral'. But it was 'dommie' who shook the labs today by advancing into the CA by inventing Muskets. These new weapons will help 'dommie' conquer new territories and help defend his city 'NO POLISH' from invasion. Although anyone who has been to 'dommie's' city 'NO POLISH' really wouldn't know where to start. Confusing.. Hmm..

**Other News**

Tarquin was ecstatic today after he, she, it received another letter from another Guildie. It would seem that there are more problems to solve (hopefully) than was first anticipated. Don't worry though Atlantis. We as ever will always try our best to tackle any problem head on in the hope of making your lives that little bit easier. So pom pom's at the ready it's Tarquin Time.

******* Tarquin Buttockclencher, the answer to all your little problems *********

"I'm a little tea pot small and stout, here's my handle, here's my spout"

'Oh, Hello guildies, didn't see you there, I was just practising my poses, you know how they go... that's it Lord Zand put your hand on your hip... OOOoooh it quite suits you. Hey Burnside, now you do the spout bit..

They are not very happy today... But I AM. Yes I have received another letter from one of our guild members so that means I get to stay for another week at least. PLEASE help me stay longer guildies, PLEASE send in some more letters, I would hate to leave all you deliciously adorable people.

Anyway, onto the letter, It comes from a very strange sounding character who I really don't know if I could trust. Lets call him 'Sailor Ape' just to keep him anonymous. Here is his letter.

Dear Tarquin,

I am a long time reader, but first time poster.
First of all I would like to congratulate you on the comfort you bring to your readers. I for for one have had many a restless night's sleep comforted from the power of your soothing pen. (Well top marks for flattery my luv). My problem is thus. I have taken the decision to grow a moustache for MoVember. Unfortunately this has not gone quite to plan. Initial hopes for proceedings were for it to have a Burt Reynolds kind of effect, as it turns out it's more like a Brendan Brady!

Work colleagues can’t look me in the eye, I can't get served at the local inn and the mythical tickle button is still, well a "Myth". Am I grooming my Moustache wrong? Should I continue?
Other pro's and cons of Moustache's would be greatly received as I am struggling to keep the Mo in Movember!!!

Regards
'Sailor Ape'

You poor luv, what started out in a generous, benign gesture seems to have turned out to be an utter disaster and failure. No luv not you a failure, well maybe you are I don't know.

Cast your mind back to other things that you thought would never grow, are you thinking on the right track here? Yes, that's good. Well, remember looking down and thinking grow you bugger grow, well that's exactly what is happening here, you are expecting too much at once, well maybe you are expecting a miracle in your case.

Take no notice of those who jibe and mock, just do what you did when 'THAT' was a wee small thing, hide it in the corner and hope no one notices, or you could try talking with your hand covering your mouth.

One thing, 'DO NOT GIVE UP' it matters not what you have, it's what you do with it that counts darhling.

As for the mythical tickle button, it's not that mythical, Believe me I have been there and OOooh when it's done right. AHEM. sorry about that. (just let me cross my legs).

All I can say is persevere, it will grow every day and by the end of the month you may have sprouted a fine bush.. Then again you may not have.

Other great properties of the moustache are:

1. It attracts food particles so you won’t go hungry when you wake up in the middle of the night.
2. It takes off some of that annoying froth from the top of your beer, and by the time you have drank your beer it has turned into more beer to drink while you wait for that lazy bar wench to pour your next one.
3. It makes a good disguise for your nefarious activities.
4. It stops people laughing at your ugly features, it gives them something else to laugh at.
5. The wife doesn't make you walk ten paces behind her any more, she just introduces you as some strange man who keeps following her about.
6. The kids will go to bed when told, they must be frightened to death of you with that caterpillar under your nose.
7. And lastly, you don't have to trim your nostril hair any more, you can just comb them in.

Hope this helps Darhling. Oh and well done for even thinking you could grow a moutache, but then you were never the brightest sparkler in the box were you.

Bye Luvvies, speak soon. MWAH X X

**Final Say**

SO there we have it. Monday done and dusted with. Onto Tuesday with haste. Bring on the week, we can take it and we're dam sure Atlantis can to. But if you can't and need a little help then remember to send a letter to Tarquin here at 'The Star' and you may see it published. Just PM 'Burnside'. Bring on Tuesday...HOORAA...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #41 Tuesday 13th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good day Atlantis and welcome to 'The Star' you daily paper with all the news from sports to reviews to stories with clues , who knows what you’re going to get but one thing you can be sure on. It will be the best. Let’s start this fine selection of eye watering delicacies with some science news.

Yes we had another MAJOR breakthrough today with our very own Leader/Founder 'John Galt' moving into the CA. By researching Muskets (another war monger) 'John Galt' has taken that bold leap and joined the few Guildies who have already passed into this age. We tried to catch up with 'John Galt' to answer some questions we had about his achievement but unfortunately due to the construction of two new Musket Ranges (what is it with war) all the roads leading into his city 'P-M-H' were closed. As our unsuccessful reporter was leaving he mentioned seeing 3 new wooden posts stuck into the ground in front of a freshly painted white wall. We would be lying if we said we're sure there is a reasonable explanation for this, but for now we shall leave it saying a big congratulations to 'John Galt' for his awesome achievement.

We have also been provided a report from credible sources claiming that 'pfcjays's' 2nd Palace is actually a 2nd front for a 2nd Brothel for his "merry noblemen". This revelation has now completly destroyed what little reputation 'pfcjay' had left. "Its completely true" he said when interviewed, we guess that was the clincher. However some good has come out of this scandal with apparently an enormous recruitment drive setup by 'pfcjay' for Single Women who don't mind being bonked. This has seen unemployment drop drastically from the surrounding wastelands and hellholes. So..uh..well done 'pfcjay'.

**Other News**

'Lord Zand' would like to thank all people who took part (Finally) in his Dingbats game and would like to reassure all Guildies that more are on the way.

There have been rumours abound in Atlantis today with mention of a new age coming our way. Very little is known at this point but we have sent our best explorer 'seamonkey' to gather as much information about it as possible. All we know so far is that it may include inventions such as C02 and Greenhouse Gasses whatever these things are. What we do know is that 'seamonkey' will be gone for some time and may not be back until early 2013. We shall keep you updated with whatever information becomes available to here at 'The Star'. Meanwhile we (well except 'wizofwoz') wish 'seamonkey ' a good voyage and hope he returns safely.

Earlier today we got a complaint from an annoyed trader who was at the Guild Market. Apparently 'ophion' had gone to the market to buy some pottery that had been advertised by 'turbo' (yes we have learnt) but unfortunately when 'ophion' arrived he was dumbfounded to find out that 'turbo' was telling porkies. In fact he hadn't even built a Porcelain Manufactory. 'ophion' was furious with 'turbo' and immediately placed an embargo on 'turbo', basically banning all exported good from entering 'ophion's' city 'H. NO POLISH'. How long this embargo will last we don’t know but we are sure that a certain level of reasoning will prevail in the end.

Lastly it has now been confirmed that the zombie outbreak that had been plaguing Atlantis for the last week or so has finally be quashed by the Atlantis National Guard Elite Regiment otherwise known as ANGER. A party has been thrown tonight for all ANGER employees to celebrate the end of 'Z Week'. 'DarkDDT' the Guild member responsible for unleashing the hordes of walking dead is tonight being burned alive in a 'Wicker Man' as part of the celebrations. The Leaders Council decided that chopping off a finger wasn't enough punishment for the millions of Gold Coins it will cost to clean up the so called 'accident. Bye Bye 'DarkDDT' or should we say 'Burn Baby Burn'.

**Final Say**

Another day another issue Guildies. Please remember to keep your Good Production lists on the Atlantis Forum up-to-date and send any comments or stories our way via a PM to either 'Lord Zand' or 'Burnside'. We thank all Guildies who have supplied us with stories to date, it’s the reason you keep coming back for more. Till tomorrow....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #42 Wednesday 14th. November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************

-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

Here we are again fellow guild members, yet another thrilling edition of your favourite daily paper, well your only daily paper, so it has to be your favourite. That's what having a monopoly does for you :)

There are no moves in or out of the guild to report today, and no techie age advancements either, a good job really after the party that John Galt threw for his Colonial coming of age, did he do us proud or what?? Champagne and fine wines flowed like the waves of the sea upon our fair shores of Atlantis, the food was scrumptious, sucklng pig with an apple and grape stuffing, quails eggs coated in breadcrumbs and fried to a golden crisp, venison in a red wine sauce and more breads, nuts, fruit and cheeses than you could shake a stick at.

I loved that pink champagne, but 'Oh my liver'....... ;)

There may be no movers and shakers tonight, HOWEVER, we have our very first recipient of the Atlantis Order of Merit to award tonight.

This is how it is mentioned in dispatches:

The Atlantis Order of Merit is awarded to Kradlum for his unstinting generosity in obtaining an import of 40 Bassalt to the guild. Not only did he source the goods but also paid one of his own forge points for it, not only that but he did not keep it for himself but immediately traded said goods within the guild. The leadership commend him for his benevolent generosity.

Other news:

Maybe it was the excesses of food and drink that is the explanation for the other news in the guild today....

Firstly we had a malfunction of forge points at Akbhoy's Paradise City, "I couldn't buy a forge point for love nor money this morning", "The damned machine wouldn't let me".
Perhaps you were putting the wrong pin number in Akbhoy....

Then a case of lost time, which we at the Star definitely put down to the excesses of last nights party. At 2:47 pm this afternoon Monarchy88 rose and greeted everyone with a cheery 'GOOD MORNING ATLANTIANS'. I ask you, talk about oversleeping.

Other news in the guild:

Lord Zand reported today that the research section had gone all red and gold, when we looked he was right, very decorative it is too with purple and green backgrounds, now we suspected straight away who was responsible because our office walls have no space left to paint in all these gaudy colours.
When we tracked Him, Her, It, down, He, She, It, admitted responsibility, stating, "Well luvvies, it was a bit drab before you must admit, and I had lots and lots of lovely bright nail varnish that I acquired as a job lot from Mariposa's posing boutique, so I thought, why not".

We just can't keep control of Him, Her, It. Still that won't be a problem next week because as of Monday morning we are packing His, Hers, Its, Louis Viton cases for Him, Her, It, and putting Him, Her, It, on the first stage out of Atlantis... we are glad to say NO-ONE has written Him, Her, It, any more letters so OUT He, She, It, goes.... oh the joy... the relief... the normality of stewed tea and soggy half mouldy biscuits again.

Yet more news:

I have to report that we now have normal resumption on the football scores again following the re-growing of my pigeons feathers after that monster Man, Woman, thing, stripped them nude.

I have to thank Jizzalots for his help here in providing some of his special cream. We had one of the loft attendants smear it all over their tiny little bodies and the feathers grew in extra quick time.
Jizzalots says it's the hormones and nutrients in it.

We allowed the loft attendant to wear surgical gloves during the process just in case the squeamish amongst you were worried.

And now for tonight's league match results:

**************************** DIVISION 1 **************************

Burnsides Bulldogs 6 Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 1

Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 4 Knycknac's Kicker Crackers 1

Fernikus's Crockers 3 Lord Farrals's Bravehearts 6

Jizzalots 1 Mariposa's Monarchs 1

Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 1 Spurndensda's Spud LUFC 2

More76 Savon Voema 4 Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 5

Rinbins Jesters 4 UJKA Sam's Bukisland 3

Seamonkey Westmonk 3 UK's Finest 5

************************ DIVISION 2 ************************

Akbhoy67 Celtic Galactico's 5 Ragu Silvertongues Bounders 3

Akhil Wonder 5 Galts Bohemians 4

Caphalor Titans 2 Gremla MK Maribor 5

Doctiny's Speculums 3 Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs 4

Mmarrkks Tartan Spartans 6 The Bho's Ballhogs 1

PFCJay Thunder 5 TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 4

Raxpool's Hamflickers 4 Wizofwoz Wrecklace Wonders 1

Slyfoxys City Slickers 4 Zanders Zombies 6

The big talking point of tonights games was undoubtedly the match of Jizzalots versus Mariposa's Monarchs which ended all square at 1 - 1
The build up to this game had been electric with mariposa stating that her team were going to wear skimpy outfits in order to put the other team off.

BIG MISTAKE Mariposa, did you not realise you were playing Jizzalots, far from putting them off you in fact spurred them on to a faster pace, although the end result was exactly the same for Jizzalots, plenty of promise but no REAL action.

In other games tonight the two leaders in Division 1 UJKASam and More76 both lost by the odd goal while Wizofwoz and Slyfoxy stayed rooted to the bottom both teams losing yet again.

In Division 2: PFCJays team marches on at the top with yet another win setting the pace and throwing down a challenge to the rest of the Division.

More league action on Saturday folks.

Well that's all folks, another packed edition of the Star brought to your door for your entertainment, we hope you enjoyed it and be rest assured there will be another edition tomorrow, until then, Godnight and sleep well.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #43 Thursday 15th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good afternoon/evening (delete as applicable) and welcome to another issue of 'The Atlantis Star' bringing you all the latest guild news just as our header reads. Today has seen some interesting stories come our way so we had better do what we're here for and get on with dishing the dirt.

Atlantis saw 1 new member join our ranks today. 'plutonium' has been welcomed into Atlantis with a fanfare entrance setup by all the Guild Leaders at great expense. 'plutonium' was blow away by the event, literally, as part of the ceremony consisted of firing off 3 cannons (supplied by 'm3gatron') into the air as a formal salute. Unfortunately one of the cannonballs (made of uranium) landed on 'plutonium' and set off a chain reaction which ended in a small nuclear explosion. Luckily all the leaders managed to escape the blast but 'm3gatron's' cannon were lost to the nuclear fire and radiation. Tough luck 'm3gatron'.

But even eclipsing the above story was the news that 'Igsoeh' has been the first (Ex-)Guildie to be kicked due to the poor support he gave to the rest of the guild. Apparently 'Igsoeh' was sent several warning messages from the Atlantis Leaders explaining that unless he increased his support to the 3 times a week minimum the Guild requires he would be committing an offence. After no response or change in attitude 'Igsoeh' was removed from Atlantis by EXIT an élite removal force. He declined to comment, we wonder why. What this does mean is that M/P 3 times a week minimum is now being enforced across Atlantis and members who don't comply WILL be receiving warning messages very soon. We are very confident that 'Igsoeh' will be a one off offender and this report will be enough of a warning to everyone out there to chivvy up and get supporting your fellow Guildies before EXIT come knocking on your door.

In science news the Guild saw 4 breakthroughs today with 'Heftifili', 'Hokage14' and 'monarchy88' moving into the LMA. 'Hokage14' has invited all Guildies to her pad for a "swell party" as stated on the invitation, so expect us there well one of us anyway (chink, chink 'Burnside' your free whisky bottles await). Everyone is expected to turn up due to the leaked rumour that 'Hokage14' will recreate the accidental killing of 'empted' in her Public Bath. Poor old 'empted', how we envy you.

But 'Slyfoxy' out foxed everyone at the labs today by advancing into the CA. This outstanding achievement means we now have our 7th Guild member in the CA as well as access to more exotic goods in the guild market. In a statement released by 'Slyfoxy' earlier today he described how; "This achievement could not have been possible without the enormous support I received from everyone in Atlantis. I would like to thank all Guildies who supported me by inviting them to a party to be held in my New Town Hall at sundown". Unfortunately what 'Slyfoxy' didn’t realise is that only moments before his statement was released 'Hokage14' had already announced her party with said rumour already in place. That means the only guest 'Slyfoxy' will have at his party will be our very own Agony Aunt 'Thing' Tarquin. Good luck with that 'Sly', remember chains DO work.

**Other News**

Tragedy struck Atlantis this afternoon when 'tarantula's' loving pet spider 'Gizmo' was squashed when he tried to sit next to a small girl called 'Miss. Tuffett'. It was reported that as 'Gismo' was descending on his web when a small breeze blew 'Gizmo' off course and down into the wrong seat, at which point 'Miss. Tuffett' sat down on the same seat. The last time we spoke of 'Gizmo' he had been awarded a Medal of Bravery for rescuing Timmy from drowning in the well. A small funeral service for loved ones is to be held tomorrow evening just before the cow jumps over the moon.

**Sports News**

Here are the current league tables. How is your team doing? .. Let us know

*************** DIVISION 1 ***************

1. Ujka Sams Bukisland 9 Points +8GD
2. MORE76 Savon Voema 9 points +5 GD
3. Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 9 ponits +3 GD
4. Jizzalots 7 Points +6 GD
5. Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 7 points +2 GD
6. Spurndensda's Spud LUFC 7 ponits +1 GD
7. Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 7 points -3 GD
8. Seamonkey Westmonk 6 points +3 GD
9. Burnsides Bulldogs 6 points +1 GD
10. Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 6 points -1 GD
11. Rinbins Jesters 6 points -2 GD
12. Lord Farrals Bravehearts 4 points +0 GD
13. Mariposa's Monarchs 4 points -6 GD
14. UK's Finest 3 point -3 GD
15. Furnikus's Crockers 3 points -5 GD
16. Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 0 points -9 GD

*************** DIVISION 2 ****************

1. PFCJays Thunder 12 points +5 GD
2. Zanders Zombies 9 points +6 GD
3. Raxpools Hamflickers 9 points +4 GD
4. Akhil Wonder 6 points +3 GD
5. Galts Bohemians 6 Points +3 GD
6. Akbhoy67 Celtic Galactico's 6 points +1 GD
7. Ragu Silvertongue's Bounders 6 points +1 GD
8. Gremla MK Maribor 6 points +0 GD
9. Doctiny's Speculums 6 points -1 GD
10. Kradlums Kaiser Chiefs 6 points -3 GD
11. The Bho's Ballhogs 6 points -3 GD
12. Caphalor Ttans 6 points -4 GD
13. Mmarrkk's Tartan Spartans 5 points +0 GD
14. TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 3 points -1 GD
15. Slyfoxys City Slickers 3 points -2 GD
16. Wizofwoz Wrecklace Warriors 3 points -6 GD

**Final Say**

We at 'The Star' like Thursdays because it means tomorrow is Friday and with it comes the release of another issue of your trusted daily paper with all the latest news to hand out to you in a loving and caring manner...Hmmm...Anyways till tomorrow peeps...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #43 Thursday 15th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

"It's Friday ... yes its Friday ... its Friday ... oh yes its Friday" as said by the great ODB, what a guy. But he is right Guildies for today is Friday and that can mean only one thing....the release of another issue of your favourite paper 'The Atlantis Star'. So let's get cracking with the news.

Today saw a whole host of changes in the Guild with people coming and going all day. The Guildies who left today are 'Armitius', 'teratel' and 'teogurita' all of which were removed from Atlantis by EXIT our in-Guild Eviction Team due to their lazy, good for nothing and ultimately nonexistent support of fellow Guildies. This is yet another warning to Atlantians that should THEY become lazy at P/M others then EXIT will be over for a quiet chat. Please Guildies listen to us as your daily friend and DO NOT become one of these free riders because you WILL be noticed and most probably removed from our illustrious Guild and we can guarantee with almost certainty that you won't find a Guild as good as ours anywhere else in Fel Dranghyr.

On a brighter note we have 3 new members to call Atlantians today. Let's all welcome 'rightoussam', 'mctski' and 'mewtwo' to the Guild and we are sure that their time with us will be profitable and enjoyable, unless they are also free riders in which case OMFG. We managed to get some words from 'mewtwo' during the unpacking of his new toy 'The MEWTWO CHAIR', "This place is amazing, the sea is so blue and the hills are so green. Everything would be perfect except for this trail of small intestines across my lawn". Ah...maybe we should have mentioned to 'mewtwo' the Zombie outbreak Atlantis suffered a short time ago. ANGER has tried it's best to clean up all evidence of 'Z DAY' but it looks like they missed a bit. Luckily 'mewtwo' seemed more distracted with his new toy. What is this 'mewtwo chair'. Only time will tell.

In science news today we had 3 breakthroughs with 3 Guildies moving into the LMA. Congratulations to 'plutonium', sdragonfun' and 'LrdMagic' for their fine achievements and maybe in a few months time they will reach their next goal the CA. We did try to get some interviews from the 3 LMA Amigos but today seems like one of those days where people didn't want to speak. 'LrdMagic' was too busy trying to get other Guildies to 'PULL HIS FINGER' for some reason (trapped wind maybe) and 'plutonium' was still cleaning up after yesterdays small nuclear explosion. As for 'sdragonfun' he was nowhere to be seen. One neighbour explained that on Friday he usually flew on his pet dragon called 'FUN' and would not be back till late. What is it with Atlantians and their pets, do they ever allow time for themselves we wonder. Hmmmm.

**Other News**

Firstly we would like to congratulate 'Lord Zand' for surpassing the 1.5 million mark for coins and supplies. This achievement has been successfully reached mainly because 'Lord Zand' refuses to spend it on building 6 of each bloody building unlike some other Atlantians. WTF. However most is due down to the fact that he is tighter than a misers purse, but 'Burnside' already knew that. Well done me.

Secondly we have been notified by 'john Galt' our Leader/Founder that the bug that was infecting our Guildie Title system has now been removed and sent on its way. The bugs appeared some time after an update was sent out to all FoE players who then seemed to make nests in all Guild Title screens. After 'John Galt' called in the fumigators they quickly exterminated the bug and left the title screen free from creepy crawlies. This means that all Guild members who wish to have a Title can once again do so via leaving your desired Title in the Guild Forum under the tab New Members.

Lastly 'The Star' would like to announce that on Monday Tarquin, 'The Star's' so called Agony Aunt, will be shot at dawn due to the complete lack of stories he, she, it receives from Guild members. We just cannot afford to keep he, she, it on unless we can give he, she, it something to do. So thanks a lot for all your help Atlantis...that’s the last time we do stuff for you. HA. We don't think 'Burnside' can take another rendition of all of Culture Clubs Classics. We know we can't. So this seems to be final unless Tarquin receives something soon its head splatting time for Tarquin.

**Final Say**

Tomorrow is the weekend YAHOO ... and that means a late night and a sleep in for a lot of people, unless you work in retail and work weekends in which case we say to you HA HA GUTTED. Always take the 9-5 Mon-Fri job.. ALWAYS. So until tomorrow, this is 'The Star' signing off....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #45 Saturday 17th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

The weekend is upon us once again Guildies and it seems like this week has flown past. With so much happening in Atlantis this week we have hardly had time to rest here at 'The Star'. Today has been no different with a torrent of stories, announcements and of course footy results flying in from all angles. Best not to keep em' waiting:

Today saw the recruitment of 2 new members to Atlantis. 'izod' and 'cdscarlo' have both joined the guild during our Sprin....Winter Clearout and with plenty of changes ahead let’s hope that they are all here to stay. 'izod' has already been spotted by several Guildies polishing and motivating their city structures while 'cdscarlo' immediately made use of our incredibly lucrative Guild Market by posting several trades. We wish them a warm welcome and hopefully a long and prosperous stay.

Today’s continuing Winter Clearout saw another 2 Guild members booted out of Atlantis by EXIT. Both 'm3gatron' and 'petovian' have become the latest victims of EXIT because of their refusal to adhere to the Guild Policy over P/M-ing fellow friends. What we have seen over the last few days is that our Leader/Founder 'John Galt' will remove anyone (even high scorers) from Atlantis if these rules are not followed. Harsh maybe but certainly fair, after all what is a Guild without Community.

Some weekend science news now and the labs saw only 1 advancement today with 'uktrooper' moving into the LMA. We salute 'uktrooper' for this achievement and in record time considering it wasn't that long ago that he had only just built his first Saltworks. When our reporter asked 'uktrooper' about how he managed it in such a short time he got these few words, "Well what can I say, ever since I..yes..I invented salt popcorn my scientists got hooked on the stuff, so now I make them work faster and harder otherwise they don't get their daily fix of popcorn. Simples Ckhhhhhhhkkkk". Um right ok well let’s hope that his next invention doesn't end up destroying people's lives.

**Other News**

In other news today it was rumoured that 'MrJism' was going to destroy his city in order to rebuild it more efficiently. He released a statement earlier today to all Guild members asking for advice on the matter. It read:

"hhhhhhmmmmmm I am thinking of demolishing my city and rebuilding it again to make it more space efficient. Do u think this would be a wise move, any feedback would be appreciated

thanks Jizz :)

Within moments there were a flurry of recommendations and tips that were sent to 'MrJism' to help him with his question. In fact it was reported that 'MrJism' was so overwhelmed by this response that he managed to coat a 50' rope in under 10 seconds (a new world record) in his special coating, even without 'Raxpool' to HAND. 'MrJism' has taken onboard all advice received and has sent out a statement of gratitude thanking all Guildies for their time and advice.

**Sports News**

And now the moment you have all been waiting for kiddies, its results time:

*********** DIVISION 1 ***********

Spurdensda's Spud LUFC 4 Burnsides Bulldogs 6
Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 14 Hokage14 Pink Unicorn
UJKASams Bukisland 5 Furnikus's Crockers 6
UK's Finest 1 Jizzalots 6
Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 5 Monarchy CPi Butanding 4
Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 4 More Savon Voema 3
Lord Farrals Bravehearts 6 Rinbins Jesters 1
Mariposa's Monarchs 4 Seamonkey Westmonk 2

********** DIVISION 2 ************

The Bhos Ballhogs 4 Akbhoy Celtic Galactico's 6
TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 1 Akhil Wonder 1
Wizofwoz Wrtecklace Wonders 2 Caphalor Titans 4
Zanders Zombies 5 Doctinys Speculums 3
Ragu Silvertongues Bounders 6 Mmarrkks Tartan Spartans 3
Galts Bohemians 5 PFCJay Thunder 1
Gremla MK Maribor 1 Raxpools Hamflickers 3
Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs 4 Slyfoxys City Slickers 6

**Final Say**

As the winter clearout continues we shall say one thing, we hope to see you tomorrow. HAHA. But seriously we really hope we do because you don't want to miss out on the Sunday special copy 'The Star' with a weekend news roundup and the increasingly popular Sunday Supplement 'BALLS' with all the weekend footy news and stories. We shall keep our fingers crossed for you and hopefully see ya all tomorrow....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #46 Sunday 18th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Welcome Guildies to the super Sunday special edition of 'The Star'. Today has been another eventful day in Atlantis with rumour and speculation, Guildes secrets and stories from the footy field. We just about managed to fit it all in so sit back in your chair and enjoy the read.

Sunday, it would seem, is not a day of rest for the EXIT Team who removed another 2 Guild Members 'AnimeNoob' and 'chudleigh' for their non committal rule breaking ways. Well we say removed two but actually it was one as 'chudleigh' got away before EXIT got the chance to boot him out the Atlantis back door as is what happened to 'AnimeNoob'. The winter clearout continues.

On a lighter note we had 2 new members join Atlantis who are 'almidf3' and 'dobriv'. 'The Star' and all Atlantians would like to wish them both a warm welcome to Atlantis and hope that they will enjoy their time here as much as everyone else does. You do don't you. Yes we know you do. 'dobriv' spoke to one of our reporters earlier this afternoon as he was moving in "I ain't no free rider skum". Short but to the point, we like that.

Sunday science news now and it seems the no rest methodology used by EXIT doesn’t run in the labs quite so much as today saw only one advancement. 'DARK DDT' (who has mysteriously resurrected after being burned alive in an enormous wicker man for starting the so called 'Z-DAY') has moved into the LMA. Whether this research breakthrough had anything to do with the return of 'DARK DDT' is anyone's guess but we at 'The Star' have our suspicions.

**Other News**

In other news today we have been asked by our Leader/Founder 'John Galt' to announce a new tournament which has started in Atlantis called the 'Master Warrior of Atlantis' tournament. According to 'John Galt' this new tournament was "Inspired by the competitions being run on the game forum" and consists of Guildies posting links to screen shots of their best battle scores, the best ones being awarded the title of Master Warrior of Atlantis. For more information and details please make your way over to the Guild Forum and click on the 'Game Discussion' tab, then look in the Master Warrior of Atlantis post. 'John Galt' will also be happy to answer any questions or queries you have, just use the Atlantis - Mail.

A big congratulation to 'Slyfoxy' who has just managed to top the 100,000 point mark before we went to print. This marks a significant turning point for 'slyfoxy' as he has now become one of the Hundred Grand Gang of which there are 6 others who all call this gang family. 'slyfoxy' must first undertake the initiation test of being able to lick his own balls. If he succeeds in this test he can expect many riches and rewards given out by the Atlantis Gods as a sign of enlightenment to other Atlantians. It has been reported that 'doctiny628' is standing by with his surgery equipment ready to remove one or more of 'slyfoxy's' spinal discs just in case.

Speaking of balls it’s time for our Super Sunday Supplement, bringing you all the footy news from the Guild, brought to you by our roving reporter/editor 'Burnside' and of course Mrs. Burnside.

*************BALLS*************
---Football News With Balls---

Hello to all you footy mad Guildies, here we are again with another quick round up of Saturday’s league results.

Just one result to clear up before we start and that is the result of Stipsa Vs Hokage14..... This match ended as a 4 - 1 win for Hokage14. She remains the highest placed ladies team.

In Division 1 UJKA Sam who was sitting pretty at the top of the division lost to Furnikus's Crockers in a dirty match which saw 4 sending’s off for foul and dangerous play and two broken legs. Furnikus's team lived up to their name and went all over the pitch kicking at any of Sams players that came into range. Luckily Sam had given them some of his extra strong herbals in their tea and it deadened the pain.

We at 'The Star' were really surprised when the league allowed Furnikus's team back in, if you remember he was initially thrown out because his team played in steel toe-capped boots. Well nothing has changed and we believe that the league let them back in because of lack of interest from other Guildies in taking up the vacant places.

'The Star' would like it known that they have some influence with the league officials and if any of the new guild members would like to take a team up in the league it can be arranged. Just PM Burnside if you are with your team name.

At the opposite end of Division 1 Monarchy continues his very impressive 0 points tally. Cheer up Monarchy it can't last forever. (Can it)??

In Division 2.

PFCJay lost his 100% record and this now means that no team has 100% anymore.

Zanders Zombies seem to be creeping up on everyone and we are keeping an eye out on this situation as we believe that he may have had some involvement in the recent Zombie attack on Atlantis. This is pure speculation and allegory at this time but watch this space.

This Wednesday sees the return of league cup action with the last eight teams vying for a semi-final place. The smi-finals will be played over two legs don't forget. Home and away.

That's all today from' Balls' we hope to bring you the updated league tables in tomorrow’s Star.

**Final Say**

So ends another weekend and what a weekend we had. Leavers, joiners, age ups and scandal. What wonders will next week bring with it we can’t even imagine so we guess you’ll just have to keep on reading your one and only daily paper 'The Atlantis Star' (not that we have a monopoly or anything)...Don't forget to set your alarm clocks tonight and we shall see you all tomorrow Guildies...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #47 Monday 19th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Welcome to the start of another week Atlantis and to help you all through it we shall be with you every step of the way, or at least there for you every day with the news from the Guild. After such a hectic weekend it was nice to see things a little more settled today but there is still plenty to report so let us begin.

Monday is obviously Team EXIT's day of rest and not Sunday as is for most people. With no one leaving or joining we finally may be coming to the end of the Atlantis Winter clearout but that is just wild speculation at this time. However it is nice to see a day of peace after such an eventful last couple of days.

Luckily the labs saw no such rest with Guildie breakthroughs aplenty. Both 'ageofpatels' and 'phantom_24' reached the LMA by spending a flurry of Forge Points at the last possible moment for maximum effect. This technique has been tried before and ultimately failed but with this success maybe more people will buy into the idea. Sometimes we also wonder what we're going on about most of the time. Hmm..What..did you say something.

The bigger news was from 'almidf3' who announced earlier today that he had become the 7th member of Atlantis who has reached the Colonial Age. 'almidf3' is a new member of the Guild so this makes the achievement even more special for all Guild members and we have been informed that 'almidf3' will supply many fine CA goods to our Guild Market. "It's the least I can do after I received such a warm welcome from everybody in Atlantis" was his reply. It seems as if our Leader/Founder 'John Galt' has been pretty selective of the new recruits and is only letting in the best. We salute 'almidf3' for his achievements and thank 'John Galt' for his ever watchful talent eyeball.

**Other News**

Today we are celebrating with 'akhil.gupta' as once again he managed to top all 6 Age PvP Towers during last week. This simply stunning achievement means that he is now ranked 3rd in the medals tables with a grand total of 2500. Just imagine how many victory expansions you could get for that. WOW. 'akhil.gupta' has informed us that the party will continue at his city Town Hall and all Guildies are invited. We know someone who will be there for sure.

We reported at the weekend that today was to be the day of reckoning for Tarquin due to the vast sums of money required for the upkeep. He, she, it was to be sent to 'John Galt's city to make use of his new firing squad consisting of several Musketeers. Unfortunately just as the squad were about to fire, Tarquin pulled his, hers, its pants down to reveal the biggest pair of Glitter Balls you could imagine. The firing squad was blinded by the glitter reflecting the early morning sun and Tarquin managed to escape. The local officials who presided over this so called execution have put out an alert to all Atlantis members stating that if anyone spots an enormous pair of Glitter Balls roaming around their city that they should report it immediately to 'The Star'. Let’s hope we can all work together to fix this mess quickly.

**Sports News**

Today’s sports news contains our new Monday pullout **'Extra' BALLS** and is brought to you by our sports Editor 'Burnside'.

*****'Extra' BALLS*****
---Football Roundup---

Here is the sports news following Saturday’s league matches:

Starting with the league tables:

**************** DIVISION 1 ****************

1. Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 12 points +6 GD
2. Jizzalots 10 points +11 GD
3. Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 10 points +3 GD
4. UJKA Sams Bukisland 9 points +7 GD
5. More76 Savon Voema 9 points +4 GD
6. Burnsides Bulldogs 9 points +3 GD
7. Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 9 points +0 GD
8. Lord Farrals Bravehearts 7 points +5 GD
9. Spurdensda's Spud LUFC 7 points -1 GD
10. Mariposa's Monarchs 7 points -4 GD
11. Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 7 points -6 GD
12. Seamonkey Westmonk 6 points +1 GD
13. Furnikus's Crockers 6 points -4 GD
14. Rinbins Jesters 6 points -7 GD
15. UK's Finest 3 points -8 GD
16. Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 0 points -10 GD

*************** DIVISION 2 *****************

1. Zanders Zombies 12 points +8 GD
2. Raxpools Hamflickers 12 points +6 GD
3. PFCJay's Thunder 12 points +1 GD
4. Galts Bohemians 9 points +7 GD
5. Ragu Silvertongues Bounders 9 points +4 Gd
6. Akbhoys Celtic Galactico's 9 points +3 GD
7. Caphalors Titans 9 Points -2 GD
8. Akhil Wonder 7 points +3 Gd
9. Slyfoxy's City Slickers 6 points +0 Gd
10. Gremla MK Maribor 6 points -2 GD
11. Doctinys Speculums 6 points -3 GD
12. Kradlums Kaiser Chiefs 6 points -5 GD
13. The Bho's Ballhogs 6 points -5 GD
14. Mmarrkk's Tartan Spartans 5 points -3 GD
15. TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 4 points -1 GD
16. Wizofwoz Wrecklace Wonders 3 points -8 GD

Sports round up:

******* DIVISION 1 ******

This Saturday saw Hokage14 Pink Unicorn climb to the top of the table with an impressive 4 - 1 win over Stipsa. We caught up with Hokage14 on the training ground this morning where as soon as we appeared all training was stopped.

"Who invited you here" was the frosty welcome, "This is top secret training going on here, not some backstreet kick-about like other teams do". When we calmed her down a bit she agreed to give us this statement on her team’s achievement. "Of course we are top, we are girls and far better than boys obviously" Well that told us, and off we were marched away from the training ground by two very big burly bouncers. (Female of course).

Jizzalots moves up to second and said "We are chasing the girls". Nothing new there then.

Poor old Monarchy still can’t find a win, but, we think we may have found out why. Apparently Monarchy hired a football expert to help out with his team, or so he thought, it was actually a plant sent in by Seamonkey and it seems to have worked.

The plant told Monarchy that he needed to look at things from a different angle so Monarchy has been selecting his team whilst standing on his head. Of course he has had his goalkeeper as a striker and his striker in goal. We put him right and maybe things will now improve.

********** DIVISION 2 **********

This Saturday saw PFCJay lose his 100% record, we spoke to him about the game and this is what he said to us.
"12 bloody minutes of added on time and we lose in that time, where did the ref get it from, it's beyond me, anyone would think they were one of the Manchester clubs the amount of time, free kicks and penalties that they get"
Not a happy bunny then!!.

The biggest mover in the table was Slyfoxy who went from 15th to 9th "We are on the up" he said.

As the Star pointed out yesterday there was some questions being asked surrounding the Zombie attack on Atlantis and whether Zander was involved.
We got our super sleuth investigative reporters onto the story as soon as we sniffed it out and here is what they uncovered.

Although we could find no direct link with Zander and the start of the attack of the zombies we do now know that he somehow gained control of a large number of them and took them off to a secret training camp where he held trials for prospective footy talent.
We are unsure if any of them made the grade but it coincided with Zander registering 4 new players at about that time.

We have approached the league officials with this news and gave them our report, they have promised to look into the matter to see if any infringements have taken place and we will get an exclusive report if it has.
We have had our resident legal sports editor on the case and he informs us that if found to be in breach of any rules then expulsion from the league is a possibility.

Watch this space footy fans....

**Final Say**

As we start a new week we end today’s issue with a certain optimism in our minds. Has Team EXIT's job finished? Will Tarquin be caught in time before he, she, it starts painting random objects purple? so many questions but as ever 'The Star' shall be there first trying to get you the answers. So on that optimistic outlook we bid you farewell for today Atlantis....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #48 Tuesday 20th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
***************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Hello Atlantis and welcome to a very short issue of your favourite daily paper. Yes today has been incredibly dull with only a few stories to report on. BORING.

So we thought we would take this moment to tell you about our BIG Thursday 50th Issue. That’s right Atlantis on Thursday 22nd November 2012 we will have reached 50 issues of 'The Star' and to celebrate we will be launching a Special Collector’s Edition of the paper. It will include all the usual scandal and sycophantic celebrity gossip but there will be special 'Extra' reports and a look back at some of our most memorable moments over the last 50 issues of Atlantis nonsense. Make sure you don't miss the special tokens printed somewhere in the paper because if you spot them and collect them all you can send off for your very own 'Atlantis Star' mug (but only if we have any left).

Back to the usual stuff and Atlantis saw only 1 member leave us today. 'tim1313' was removed from the Guild after it was reported that he had checked himself into a Swiss clinic for a holiday. Unfortunately it was a different kind of Swiss clinic than 'tim1313' was expecting and didn't check out...ever...so we can only assume the worst (for him not for us). RIP 'tim1313' we won't miss ya.

No new members today. Is this the end of the winter clearout? We doubt it but you can always hope.

And guess what no science news either. Those god damn lazy scientists have done nothing with their time today except smoke 'ophion's' cigars which have been flooding into the Atlantis Market recently. 'doctiny628' has already written a full report on the dangers of this new craze that is slowly sweeping through the Guild. Although we respect 'doctiny628's' verdict we will continue to smoke these cigars and report on what they are like for your benefit so you don't have to.

**Other News**

Once again Guildies very little to report about today. However we did receive a letter in the post this morning which has caused a bit of a stir in the office. If you remember in yesterdays issue we reported that Tarquin 'The Star's' so called 'Agony Aunt' escaped from his, hers, its untimely death from 'John Galts' firing squad. Well it turns out that this letter (which was covered in glitter, a big giveaway) was from Tarquin stating that he, she , it was coming to get us and do very nasty things to us. This has caused a panic within the office especially 'Lord Zand' who still has nightmares about glitter sticks and long rubber toys. This, of course, could be an elaborate hoax by one or maybe more Atlantis Guildies, but if it is it's very good. We will keep you posted on this story as and when we can.

We would have printed more stories today if we had any to print but like we said at the start, today has been very quiet and if we did print anymore stories we could be liable for making them up which of course we never do. Only fact makes it into 'The Star' and that’s a fact. Um yes fact or is it fiction we can never remember..oh well never mind.

**Final Say**

Well after such a disappointing day, boy are we glad it’s over because we can now move onto tomorrow which we are sure will bring with it far more news than today did. If not .. well then we guess we will have to instigate plan B which you really don't want to know about but it won’t come to that, we hope. Till tomorrow guildies and don't forget to keep your eyes peeled for Tarquin, as the sooner we can get him, her, it into a cage the better not just for 'Lord Zand' but all of Atlantis....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #49 Wednesday 21st November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

"oh there's one more day to go, one more day till tomorrow". Yep that’s right only one more day to go till the launch of our 50th issue spectacular Guildies. Because of this we at 'The Star' decided that we would take it easy for a few days so we could prepare the big issue properly.

That's why today’s issue is once again small in comparison to most other issues of 'The Star' we frequently release. That and the fact that pretty much bugger all happened today (AGAIN). So let’s get on with reporting the miniscule amount we have.

1 new member joined us today. 'greg3' has been welcomed into Atlantis by our Leaders and we all hope that 'greg3' stays with us for the foreseeable future. However when one of our reporters asked 'greg3' what had happened to 'greg2' and 'greg1', 'greg3' stayed eerily quiet. Maybe 1 and 2 were absorbed together and created 3. One to defiantly ask the lab coats.

No science breakthroughs today (surprise, surprise)

**Other News**

Just one story has come to our offices today and it involves, yep you guessed it, Tarquin. As you know Tarquin escaped his, hers, its death sentence earlier this week and fled into the wilds of Atlantis. Well turns out that one of our eagle eyed Guildies spotted something shiny and purple moving through his city late last night. We still don’t know too much at the moment but it was reported that whatever it was (it was Tarquin we are sure) was also wearing some kind of head piece maybe a crown or Tiara. This has led us to speculate wildly about what Tarquin is up to. Let’s hope we all find out soon, especially 'Lord Zand' who has still not been able to sleep since the escape, something about long rubber toys.

Luckily we do have some sport news for you thanks to 'Burnside' and his pitch side reporters. How about some midweek 'BALLS' people.

******** MIDWEEK BALLS EXTRA *********
--------Extra Balls for that Midweek Fix-------

Tonight saw the last 8 of the League cup ties with a mouth-watering home and away semi-final at stake...... without further ado here are the results:

Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs 5 Caphalor Titans 6

This game went to extra time and penalties with both teams having scored 1 goal each in normal time and 3 each after extra time. Both teams then scored their first 5 penalties but Caphalors goalkeeper was the hero of the hour when he saved the sixth then went and took the last penalty himself sending the Chiefs keeper the wrong way.

Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 4Slyfoxy's City Slickers 5

Yet again another close run thing with Slyfoxy relinquishing a lead on no less than 3 occasions, however they eventually got their noses in front in the last ten minutes and held on for a memorable away win and a place in the semi's.

Lord Farrals Bravehearts 1 Mariposa's Monarchs 4

The Bravehearts never really got going in this game and looked like they had a hangover from Saturday’s game, Mariposa's selection of fast nippy players outpaced the Bravehearts all over the pitch, let’s hope they have not spent too much energy.

UJKA Sams Bukisland 2 Wizofwoz Wrecklace Wonders 6

The Wonders took a commanding six goal lead into half time and came out after the break and slowed the pace down with some classic passing football, they took off their three most experienced players at the hour mark and brought on three untried teenagers, this showed on their game but Sams team could only find the net twice.

The draw for the semi-finals is as follows:

Mariposa's Monarchs Vs Caphalor Titans

Slyfoxy's City Slickers Vs Wizofwoz Wrecklace Wonders

The first leg will be played on 12th. December with the return 2nd. leg on the 19th. December.

**Final Say**

Once again we apologise for the briefness of today’s issue but rest assured that we have been saving your poor eyes for tomorrows massive edition and it's a collector’s edition no less.

Unfortunately it seems that we have run out of mugs for our competition we were going to hold due to the dire need for tea in our office. Well that and Cecil our 'post' work experience lad nicked the last 10 (damn him). So we shall see you all tomorrow for our 50th issue....don’t miss it....until then Atlantis, Enjoy..

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

PART 1 ------ Issue #50 Thursday 22nd November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
*****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

50---50---50---50---50---50---50---50---50---50---50---50---50---50---50
*********************50th Issue Collector’s Edition***********************

Hello Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls from all across Atlantis and welcome to 'The Star's' 50th super spectacular issue. Can you believe that it was 50 days ago today that this humble paper was born. In that time we have grown from a small daily paper, which operated out of an outhouse with few fans, into a successful business with many offices, lucrative sponsorship deals and which now has a huge fan base behind it.

Oh how the times have changed not just for us but also for you. Over these past 50 days Atlantis has seen many events take place within its borders from the Polishgate fiasco to the winter clearout all the way up to the trouble with Tarquin. However all of these changes have seen the emergence of (we think) one of the best Community Guilds FoE has ever seen (certainly in Fel Dranghyr) and that is something everyone can be proud of.

We MUST at this point thank 'John Galt' our Guild Founder for taking the huge step of creating our glorious Guild Atlantis. For without his foresight and dedication 'The Atlantis Star' would have never existed and then where would we be, probably stuck in a dead end job in a dead end Guild. We believe that what he has managed to create is a work of genius (which he is) and a Guild that we are sure will stand the test of time. We must also thank all of the other Atlantis Leaders who keep the Guild running smoothly behind the scenes for without them we could never have become the strong Guild we are today. To all Atlantis Leaders we salute you.

During our restful two days prior to today we have been sorting through hundreds of stories, reports and interviews to bring you only the best ones for this special 50th collectors issue. And to top it all off earlier today Atlantis was visited by Royalty no less, but more on that later. First we must focus on the usual events of the day. So without further ado let's get this 50th issue started.

**The News In The Guild**
******************************

With no new members joining and no current members leaving it would seem that Atlantis has reached a point in its history where everyone is happy and content with their lives and cities. This is great news as it brings with it a feeling of stability which will no doubt echo across Atlantis.

Unfortunately this does mean that EXIT (our in-guild evictors) are now wandering about the Guild with nothing to do and are beginning to become concerned over job security. 'John Galt' has reassured EXIT that their jobs are secure and that their services may still be required in the future but he will not expand on this topic. Does this mean that the Winter Clearout hasn't finished, only time will tell.

The labs were again quiet today with no new breakthroughs. This has been linked to the sudden shortage of Forge Points which has swept across Atlantis. Massive reserves are now being imported from surrounding worlds to try to boost the local science economy and get Guildies researching again. We can only hope that this lull in advancements is temporary and things get back to normal sharpish. Please.

So that's the news from the Guild out of the way. Now we can get on with the important issues of this special day.

**Other News**
*****************

As we mentioned above, today saw the arrival of a member of the Fel Dranghyr Royal Family. This visit (which was going to be the best day ever for our little paper) did not go well for two 'Star' Editors and after reading the next report you will understand why. It's a wonder how this issue made it out of the printers at all.

*************** KING VISITS ATLANTIS ****************
************************************************************

Today was the greatest day in Atlantian history when King Everard VI visited in order to open the new offices and printing workshops and bestow the Royal seal of appointment upon 'The Atlantis Star'.

He arrived in Royal splendour in a golden carriage pulled by 12 Pink Unicorns that had joined the Royal household of their own free will last month. His Majesty wore a pair of lurid green tights with a purple blouse shirt with frills and a sky blue jacket trimmed with white stoat fur, wearing his golden, bejewelled, crown he looked a right Queen, er we mean King.

Although this was not a surprise visit, what happened next was, out of the carriage behind him stepped TARQUIN. You could hear the gasps of amazement in the neighbouring land of Brisgard.

He was bedecked in a silver glitter jacket with no shirt showing his chest, a huge gold medallion wore around his neck with bright orange tights and blue curly end shoes, he had a fox fur hat on his head.

The king stood upon the purposely built stage and gave his speech, which the Royal household has given the Star permission to print here.

"My Woyal Subjects, I am pweased and dewighted to be here in Atwantis, I am a wegular weeder of the Atwantis star and it gives me enormous pweasure to be able to open their new workshops and pwinters. My good fwend Tarquin has towld me all abowt you wonderful peepwl and how the star bwightens up your dull and dweary lives on a daily basis. To ensure that this continues I am appointing Tarquin as the head of pwoduction and chief adviser, he will weport to me on a monthly basis".

Now to say that Burnside and Lord Zand nearly committed regicide is an understatement, they were only held back by four great berserker household guards.

Following his speech the King took Tarquins hand and together they minced out to meet the crowds. We spoke to one or two people who the King had spoken to, to ask them what he said.

"Ee asked what kind ov a ovel I lived in" said a disgruntled George Humdinger, I told im it weren't a ovel it was a "pig-sty", that shut im up"

Gladys Dingbat reported that he had asked her if she had any decent clothes to wear, I told im "These are me Sunday best your kingship" he said "Well it a good job it's not Sunday then. I ask yer, ooo dus ee fink ee is" We pointed out to her that he was the King.

Having run out of smelling salts and pomanders to keep the stench of the crowd away from his delicate nostrils King Everard then unveiled the plaque, saying. "I am weely pweased to say that the Atwantis star will now be better than ever because of my involvement".

He then got back into his carriage having kissed Tarquin on the cheek and waved his frilly hanky (which for some reason was very stiff) to the crowds as he passed.

Burnside and Lord Zand were last seen carrying noosed ropes down to the 'Pig and Firkin' ale house, they haven't been seen since leaving there around midnight staggering down the road towards the forest.

So now we have to (begrudginly) print a new feature column for Tarquin. Oh yes that’s right Tarquin is BACK WITH A VENGENCE.

********* Tarquin's feature column ********
Well hello luvvies, how delightfully delicious it is to be back amongst such scrumptious people.

Did you see my friend the King, oh I do hope so, isn't he just divine, such taste and class, well one can only expect the best from the best, as my old grandmother used to say.

The King (I call him Everard, Believe me it's a well suited name if ever there was one). Hehe. Well the King has bestowed upon me the position of head of production and chief advisor. (I have had a tiara specially made to wear around the office). So luvvies it looks like you will be hearing a lot more from me from now on, 'a bit of sanity and class amongst the gutter press at last'. I hear you say, ooh you are so kind.

Starting tomorrow I have another letter from an admirer, er I mean a confused reader, so I hope you look in on me again, and Please, if you have any problems, no matter how small (TonyEvl) then write to me care of Burnside.Until tomorrow then... MWAH X

**********************************End of PART 1*****************************
*************************************PART 2*******************************

As you can imagine this news has stirred up all sorts of panic here at 'The Star' not least for poor 'Lord Zand' who now has long rubber toys to look forward to for the foreseeable future. We only wished that Tarquin had stayed in 'ophion's's water fountain but alas that was not to be.

Speaking of 'ophion', late last night we got a letter through our office door. In it was a most marvellous poem written by 'ophion' about our fine Guild Atlantis and of course also featured 'the Star'. This poem has now been framed and is currently hanging up in the editor’s office. In light of this we have decided to print it in today’s issue just in case you missed it yesterday.

**ophion's Poem**

Behold you Naked Warriors
and Phoenix knights arisen,
jeering when Atlantis sank
and showing your derision.

Now step aside and stand alone
remembering the wonder…
Atlantis rising from the sea
to tear your guilds asunder.

From tree and leaf as swords shall fall
as waves upon the sand,
We thank the Galt and Burnside
and the wondrous great Lord Zand.

Thank you 'ophion' we will try our hardest to keep your poem on our wall but with Tarquin now let loose (especially during the refurbishment) we can't guarantee that it will stay. Or at least remain non purple.

**Quiz Corner**
*****************

And now just for fun we thought it would be unique to put in a little anagram quiz. All the answers are associated with the world of FoE. Unfortunately there are no prizes (thanks Cecil) but feel free to have a go and see if you can get all 5.

1. Ravage Dry
2. Rewards Togs
3. Peas Inn Ox
4. Premiere Fogs Of
5. **** Tits

Please don't forget that this is all for fun , so don't write in or call us up with the answers. We have enough work to keep us busy for months thanks to Tarquin.

**Sports News**
******************

Just to make sure you are up to date with everything football related we have printed below the current league tables just in case you missed them last time.

**************** DIVISION 1 ****************

1. Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 12 points +6 GD
2. Jizzalots 10 points +11 GD
3. Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 10 points +3 GD
4. UJKA Sams Bukisland 9 points +7 GD
5. More76 Savon Voema 9 points +4 GD
6. Burnsides Bulldogs 9 points +3 GD
7. Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 9 points +0 GD
8. Lord Farrals Bravehearts 7 points +5 GD
9. Spurdensda's Spud LUFC 7 points -1 GD
10. Mariposa's Monarchs 7 points -4 GD
11. Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 7 points -6 GD
12. Seamonkey Westmonk 6 points +1 GD
13. Furnikus's Crockers 6 points -4 GD
14. Rinbins Jesters 6 points -7 GD
15. UK's Finest 3 points -8 GD
16. Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 0 points -10 GD

*************** DIVISION 2 *****************

1. Zanders Zombies 12 points +8 GD
2. Raxpools Hamflickers 12 points +6 GD
3. PFCJay's Thunder 12 points +1 GD
4. Galts Bohemians 9 points +7 GD
5. Ragu Silvertongues Bounders 9 points +4 Gd
6. Akbhoys Celtic Galactico's 9 points +3 GD
7. Caphalors Titans 9 Points -2 GD
8. Akhil Wonder 7 points +3 Gd
9. Slyfoxy's City Slickers 6 points +0 Gd
10. Gremla MK Maribor 6 points -2 GD
11. Doctinys Speculums 6 points -3 GD
12. Kradlums Kaiser Chiefs 6 points -5 GD
13. The Bho's Ballhogs 6 points -5 GD
14. Mmarrkk's Tartan Spartans 5 points -3 GD
15. TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 4 points -1 GD
16. Wizofwoz Wrecklace Wonders 3 points -8 GD

Don't forget that the next league games will be held this Saturday and a full report of all league games will be printed on Sunday in our pullout supplement 'BALLS'.

**Final Say**
***************

So there we have it Guildies our 50th issue done and dusted. We hope you have enjoyed our special collector’s edition of 'The Star' and remembers that we will be back tomorrow and the next day and the next to continue our papers goal which is to bring you all the latest Guild news all in one place. We strongly believe that over the last 50 days 'The Star' has succeeded in this endeavour and if you agree then please feel free to leave a comment in the Guild Forum under Readers Praise. All comments whether good or bad are welcome.

Although this amazing issue must come to an end we are confident that 'The Star' will remain Atlantis's No1. paper for all your latest news now and into the future. So roll on the next 50 days so we can make it to 100. We hope to still be here by then (unless we all go mad) and really hope that you will be there with us along the way. So as one Italian says to another, Chow .....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
 

John Galt

Issue #51 Friday 23rd. November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************

-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

The news in the Guild:

Today saw another day off for the Exit boys and girls with no leavers or joiners, which if we think about it is a good thing, this means that perhaps everyone now within the guild is 'doing their bit' in Polishing and Motivating... But don't relax folks no-one is safe not even me.

There were two advances in age today (well actually one was last night but too late to mention).

Kolokoy moves up to LMA, we caught up with him in his city and asked for a quote.. "Do not polish my decorations" was the first thing he said, then added, "Just because I have moved up an age doesn't mean things have changed". OK Kolokoy we get the message.

Kruss is the next member of Atlantis to reach the CA. We visited him in 'Soul City' where we found everyone 'Dancing in the street' and 'Ski-ing in the snow' We spoke to Kruss who said 'It aint nothin but a house party', 'Need I say more'. We agreed but as we were about to leave he asked if Tarquin could help him because he had 'A ghost in my house' Well he could always ask Him, Her, It, cos we are not talking to that THING.

Our congratulations and that of Atlantis go out to both players.

OTHER NEWS:

The Star has a request for all guild members, Lord Zand has put up a new Poll in the guild forum about the Star and who reads it, however I can't see how we are going to get people who don't read the Star to vote that they don't read it... Perhaps it's one of Lord Zands famous conundrums.

More news and happenings:

After yesterdays revelations following the visit of His Royal mincer, King Everard VI and the disappearance of Burnside and Lord Zand into the forest carrying nooses we thought it best to send out a search party just in case they had done something silly, they were both found fast asleep snoring like pigs under an old oak tree both clutching a firkin of ale, they were non the worse for wear apart from hangovers.

Once they got back to the office the tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. (We actually removed all sharp instruments from the office for Tarquins safety).

Tarquin did not make matters any better by parading around wearing his tiara and singing 'Long live the King'. To cap it all he started to gloat at Burnside and Lord Zand saying he was more popular than they were and things like that, in the end Lord Zand gave up and has gone to work at another job for the night, well Burnside hopes it's only one night.

Then came the cruncher, Tarquin called for the head printer and told him that he was not to print The Star tonight without his column being in it, so being as he is here (AT THE MOMENT) by Royal decree here it is:

Tarquins problem page (BY ROYAL DECREE)... (I added that in).. Tarquin.

Well hello luvvies, here I am in my first day as chief advisor to 'The Atlantis Star' is't it just scrumptiously delightful for you to have little old me as the main man (Lady, Thing). Well whatever let's get on with it shall we.

I have received a letter from what sounds like a very nice man in a very high up position, we shall as always keep his identity secret, lets call him Mr. J. N. Gloath (Anagram for those of you thinking who it may be).

My deares...... My delightfu..... My admirable Tarquin
I just HAD to write to you as you may soon be the only one I can turn to, especially when they find out my secret.
You see I have admired you from afar for some time now, your organisation skills, personality, taste and panache have brought a touch of class to the whole of Atlantis, however, I feel that I am in the minority. (OF ONE) (Editorial comment by Burnside).

When they all find out that I hid you away for two days then advised you to go to your friend The King I think there may be the first public hanging in the main square of Atlantis, I did it for the right reasons believe me, I know you do, but will they...

Will they want an election to find another founder?? will they all leave to emigrate to some other guild?? why did I do it?? did I do the wrong thing?? please help me and answer my questions.
Yours Affectiona.... Yours admirin.... Yours in anticipation

J n GLAoTh.

Well I must say, you certainly know how to turn on the charm, and of course I know exactly who you are. Will I be biased in my reply........ (Thinks for a nano second) Yes of course I will my dearest Joh.... er Mr Gloath.

If I were you I should take no notice of what anyone says, especially those two ignorami Burnside and Zander... well maybe not so much Zander, I quite like him ;)

All will soon blow over and they will get used to my ways, if they don't I will have Everard (The King) to chop off their heads, now wouldn't that be a good story. Mmmmm (Ponders on the possibility).

You take care my little guardian.

Tarquin.

LAST BIT OF NEWS:

Mmarrkk and McTski were sitting on Mmarrkk's porch discussing ploughing techniques when McTski notices a pig with a wooden leg hobbling across the front yard. He turned to his friend and asks, "Say, Mmarrkk, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"

"Well, McTski, that pig...," his eyes mist up, "That pig's a mighty special pig! A few weeks back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and fought him off. Saved my life!"

"And the boar tore up his leg?"
"No, just got a few scratches, nothing serious.

But that night the barn caught fire. That ol' pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and 'fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved 'em all!"

"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Mmarrkk?"
"No, McTski.

The next day my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond. I got knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the pond and dragged me out."

"...but that's not how he hurt his leg." "Oh no, no, he was fine. Cleaned him up real nice, too."

"Okay, Mmarrkk. So just tell me. How did he lose his leg?"

"Well", "A pig that good, you don't want to eat all at once."

TO END WITH:

As you can see, all is not rosy in the Star garden at the moment, will Lord Zand come back??? will Tarquin ruin everything??? Will The Star survive???... Tune in tomorrow for another exciting episode of mystery and conflict.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
By Royal Appointment.
Award winners.
 

John Galt

Issue #52 Saturday 24th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**
******************************

Welcome to the weekend Atlantis. My my we have been a lazy Guild today. With nothing much happening it was decided by our Editors that we should take this time to reflect on the events of the past couple of days.

As you should already know 'The Star' has been in turmoil since the Royal visit by King Everard VI due to the assignment of Tarquin as Head of Production and Chief Advisor to the King. Although the day to day operations haven't changed the colour of the office and print house has, much to the dismay of the Editors and staff.

This has caused a small rift with half the staff supporting Tarquin and the other half rebelling against Tarquin. We are predicting that in the next few days this rift is going to come to a head with all out war between the Loyalists and Rebels. 'The Star' has already begun talks with Atlantis TV for viewing rights to the battle (if there is one) which will be available as a Pay per View event. 100 gold coins will get you front seat action and a choice of camera angles but if that’s a little steep for you then for 50 gold coins you can get the basic package which will give you a bird’s eye view of the action. If and when this war begins you will be notified by your ever trustful font of information. Watch this space.

With no new members and no science breakthroughs today it seems as if everyone has taken the day off to relax and spend some quality time with their cities and or families. Good on you Guildies.

**Other News**
*****************

Thankfully today saw the return of 'Lord Zand' from his 'other' job (what this other job entails is still a mystery). The sigh of relief from 'Burnside' could be heard all across Atlantis from 'dommie's' city to 'pradeepprotexs's' city. However the tension that was evident yesterday has still not abated and it has now been confirmed that 'Lord Zand' has been appointed leader of the Rebel party. He will be arming all of his fellow comrades with 6" long rubber toys and plenty of lube. This battle (if it happens) is going to be messy and 'MrJism' has already pledged 5000 tissues to the cause.

Because we can't see any way that these two opposing parties will ever agree to peace talks we are throwing the decision out to YOU our readers. Do you want the battle to happen or not and if it does who do YOU want to win, The Loyalists that are sworn to Tarquin or the Rebels who are sworn to 'Lord Zand'.

If you go to our Forum you will find a new thread under the Entertainment Tab called the War Room. In it you can write who you will be supporting and why and hopefully by next weekend we will have enough feedback to be able to come to a decision as to whether or not there is to be a battle and who will win the battle. Unfortunately 'The Star' has to stay neutral during this time but we will keep you updated on the progress of both parties during all of next week. We wish both teams luck and may the best 'STAR MAN/THING' win.

We have been getting numerous letters and telephone calls from irate Guildies about the lack of answers to our small anagram quiz which featured in our 50th issue. Even though we clearly printed that it WAS for FUN here are the answers to satisfy your hunger for answers.

1. Graveyard
2. Great Swords
3. Expansion
4. Forge of Empires
5. Atlantis

Hopefully you got them all but if you didn't then maybe you should learn to spell instead of relying on spellchecker. There is nothing more annoying for us than illiterate Atlantians.

**Sports News**
*******************

Here we are in week 6 of the league and it's still as tight as it was on week 3. Without further ado let’s give you today’s league match results:

************ DIVISION 1 *************

Burnsides Bulldogs 1 Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 2

Hokage Pink Unicorn 6 Lord Farrals Bravehearts 3

Furnikus's Crockers 2 Mariposa's Monarchs 6

Jizzalots 3 Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 3

Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 4 Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 2

More76 Savon Voema 1 UJKA Sams Bukisland 6

Rinbins Jesters 1 UK's Finest 4

Seamonkey Westmonkey 2 Spurdensda's Spud LUFC 4

************ DIVISION 2 *************

Akbhoy Celtic Galactico 2 Galts Bohemians 2

Akhil Wonder 5 Gremla MK Maribor 4

Caphalor Titans 6 Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs 6

Doctinys Speculums 6 Ragu Silvertongues Bounders 2

Mmarrkk's Tartan Spartans 4 TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 4

PFCJay Thunder 5 Wizofwoz Wrecklace Warriors 4

Raxpools Hamflickers 5 Zanders Zombies 3

Slyfoxys City Slickers 4 The Bhos Ballhogs 5Those are the results folks; don't forget to read about all the games played today in tomorrow’s Sunday supplement 'BALLS'.

**Final Say**
***************

The end is nigh (well for this issue anyway), please don't forget to visit the Forum War Room and have your say about the impending (or not) battle between the Loyalists and Rebels. Until tomorrow Guildies...keep on rocking....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
By Royal Appointment.
Award winners.
 

John Galt

Issue #53 Sunday 25th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**
******************************

The weekend comes to a close once again and with it comes the news we have all been waiting for. The gap between Atlantis and Naked Warriors closes and the gap between Atlantis and Phoenix Nights increases. Even our resident chatterbox 'Akbhoy67' has declared "we should hit the 5 million pts tomorrow folks", which (if we do) will be an incredible achievement and one worth celebrating with very big parties.

Something else 'The Star' likes to see is old members, who were evicted from Atlantis by EXIT due to their lazy ways, joining other Guilds as now they will have the same problem as we did HAHA. This brings a smile to our faces, which is a rare thing these days with all that’s been going on lately. However we must now focus on the day’s events from our own Guild, so here they are.

Once again EXIT has been pushed to the sidelines as no new members have joined and no current members have been given the boot. This doesn't bode well for EXIT and their jobs but it does bode well for the Guild, giving it a stability that we think all Guild members can appreciate and probably welcome.

The Atlantis labs saw only 1 breakthrough today (well last night actually). 'Mari Posa' (one of our few Lady players) has reached the LMA as even she admits "It's tough out there trying to keep up". We hear you 'Mari Posa' but may we make a friendly suggestion, try keeping your buildings at the same level as the age you are in. When our reporters arrived in 'Arifkuu' they were stunned to see cottages (IRON AGE BUILDINGS) still dotting the landscape. We are surprised that the people living there haven't revolted due to the lack of modern comforts e.g. better housing and work conditions, however when confronted with this question 'Mari Posa' replied "I'm doing the best I can. I'm on a tight budget here. With so many shoes to buy my people take 2nd place". Ok so that's a new one on us.

We also had a bit of tension in the Guild today when 'Lord Zand' opened his big mouth in the town square and upset some members of the Guild. Thankfully 'Burnside' and our chatterbox 'Akbhoy67' were there to calm it all down with some soothing words after which both parties shook hands and consolidated each other with a drinking contest in the 'Pig and Firkin' ale house. As far as we know they are still there and are not expected back till very late. Please be aware that 'Lord Zand' is having a stressful time at the moment with the imminent war (or not) against Tarquin, but rest assured he will be behaving himself from now on or we shall be deploying Tarquin’s glitter balls early.

**Other News**
******************

In other news today we would like to express our utmost congratulations to 'uktrooper' who came top in his neighbourhood's HMA Tower and to 'mctski' who topped his neighbourhood's LMA and CA Towers. With all these medals come expansions and the more expansions you add the higher your score which benefits the total points of the whole Guild. Remember if you have achieved amazing results in any of the PvP Towers then drop us a line explaining which towers you managed to win and you too could get a mention in 'The Star'. But in case anyone else won their respected neighbourhood's Towers then we salute you for you crowning achievements.

The trading market has been busy as usual today with plenty of deals and offers being struck between Guildies. But there has been significant demand for a fabled good called Porcelain. Does it exist? What is Porcelain? And can it even be made? These questions have yet to be answered by our professional Guild Market employees. Hopefully the answers to these questions will emerge sooner rather than later as the demand for this precious good increases daily.

And now for our Sunday supplement with all the news from the world of sport.

**************BALLS*************
---Football News with BALLS---

Your complete guide to all Atlantis sports news:

Here are the league tables following week six results:

******* DIVISION 1 *********

1. Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 15 points +9 GD
2. Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 13 points +4 GD
3. UJKA Sams Bukisland 12 points +12 GD
4. Jizzalots 11 points +11 GD
5. Mariposa's Monarchs 11 points +0 GD
6. Spurdensda's Spud LUFC 10 points +1 GD
7. Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 10 points +0 GD
8. Burnsides Bulldogs 9 points +2 GD
9. More76 Savon Voema 9 points -1 GD
10. Lord Farrals Bravehearts 7 points +2 GD
11. Stipsa Zute ose Serbia 7 points -8 GD
12. Seamonkey Westmonk 6 points -1 GD
13. UK's Finest 6 points -5 GD
14. Furnikus's Crockers 6 points -8 GD
15. Rinbins Jesters 6 points -10 GD
16. Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 3 points -8 GD

Hokage14 continues to set the pace in Division 1 with a fine 6 - 3 win over Lord Farral.
UJKA Sam is back to winning ways after last week’s blip.
But the biggest news of the week is Monarchy's win which gives him his first points, he stays bottom of the table however after his nearest rival UK's Finest also won.

*********** DIVISION 2 ***********

1. Raxpools Hamflickers 15 points +8 GD
2. PFCJay Thunder 15 points +2 GD
3. Zanders Zombies 12 points +6 GD
4. Galts Bohemians 10 points +7 GD
5. Akhil Wonder 10 points +4 GD
6. Akbhoy67 Celtic Galacticos 10 points +3 GD
7. Caphalor Titans 10 points -2 GD
8. Doctinys Speculums 9 points +1 GD
9. Ragu Silvertongues Bounders 9 points +0 GD
10. The Bho's Ballhogs 9 points -4 GD
11. Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs 7 points -5 GD
12. Slyfoxys City Slickers 6 points -1 GD
13. Gremla MK Maribor 6 points -3 GD
14. Mmarrkks Tartan Spartans 6 points -3 GD
15. TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 5 points -1 GD
16. Wizofwoz Wrecklace Wonders 3 points -9 GD

Top of the table go Raxpool after a great 5 - 3
PFCJay is back to winning ways
Wizofwoz stays bottom.

**Final Say**
***************

So ends the weekend and along with it the lie-in’s. But never mind because starting tomorrow is the beginning of a new week which will bring new stories, mystery and mayhem. Don't forget to have your say about the rift here at 'The Star' between 'Lord Zand' and Tarquin in The War Room which can be found in the Guild Forum under the Entertainment Tab, then in (yep u guessed it) The War Room post. So for today we bid you farewell readers and catch you all tomorrow, same time same place.....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
By Royal Appointment.
Award winners.
 

John Galt

Issue #54 Monday 26th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**
*************************

As a new week begins in Atlantis the whole Guild has been celebrating the news that we have reached the 5 million mark in points. Parties have begun in almost every city to celebrate this momentous occasion and we can't help but get caught up in all the fun and frolics they have brought with them. We do feel sorry for 'Burnside's' liver which had been taking the opportunity to rest during the lull in celebrations but we're sure that him and his liver will survive, somehow.

More celebrations were revealed to us today by the EXIT team as their job security is still firmly in place. But this does mean that we have had another eviction from our Guild. 'Raxpool' (one of Atlantis's many polisher's) was the latest victim to get the so called BOOT. Unfortunately we didn't manage to get an interview with him because by the time our reporters arrived at his city 'Raxpool' was already gone. Apparently he had fled in the night due to an unofficial leak (by whom we don't know) that EXIT were on their way to evict him from Atlantis. He obviously decided that rather than get a good kicking he would cut his losses and leave before the **** hit the fan.

But hey no big loss as we recruited 1 new member to immediately replace him. Let's all give a big warm welcome to 'diziet' our newest member. Let's hope he stay's with us for a long time and never gets to feel the wrath of EXIT and their Big Boots. We caught up with 'diziet' earlier today to get his impression on his bold step into Atlantis. "I had heard great things about this Guild and needed to see for myself if the rumours were true. Well I can safely they are, this place is amazing". So glad we lived up to your expectations 'diziet' and remember to spread the word, wink, wink.

After all the commotion with Guildies coming and going the Atlantis labs were also in employment with S.T.A.L.K.E.R. making it into the big boys league of the colonial age. we congratulate him on his achievement and look forward to the celebration over at his place tonight.

**Other News**
**************

In other news today we had something of a surprise in store for us when we came into the office this morning. A letter from 'Slyfoxy' telling us that after reading yesterday's article in 'The Star' regarding the shortage of Porcelain he decided to do something about it and so today has seen the completion of the first Porcelain Factory in his city with another one currently in construction. Although at this time it is with a limited production capacity it is envisaged that by Wednesday he will be up to full production.
This is great news for all Guild members who have been desperately seeking this precious resource for research and territory acquisition. We salute 'Slyfoxy' for his kind and generous ways in providing an answer to all of yesterday's questions and let's hope that now this resource is being manufactured it will help Atlantians fulfil their needs.

Last bit of news and other stuff:

We apologise for the lateness of the Star tonight but Zander had to call in Burnside to finish the paper due to an accident at home requiring him to take Mrs. Zander to hospital, we all hope that everything turns out ok.

A couple of strange happenings in the photo's of members today, rightoussam seems to have had a complete makeover and does she look good now, at least 20 years younger..... HOLD ON BOYS.. FORM A QUEUE..
Secondly, Props appears to have changed *** and has grown a moustache... perhaps the said Gent, Lady could kindly explain himself, herself.. or have we now got two Tarquins ?????

Well thats all for today folks, we hope you enjoyed our little read as much as we enjoy printing it, until tomorrow... Goodnight.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
By Royal Appointment.
 

John Galt

Issue #55 Tuesday 27th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**
******************************

Hello readers and welcome to another issue of 'The Star', your favourite paper in the whole land. After last night’s sudden rush to get 'The Star' out on time (due to 'Lord Zand' being required elsewhere) today has seen the offices return to their casual ways. This hasn't affected our ability to create a great issue for you packed with news so without any more delays let us take your reading senses on a trip around Atlantis.

Nothing has been happening on the recruitment front. All members of Atlantis can sigh in relief as EXIT shuts up shop for the day without creating any homeless victims. Is it safe to come out yet or are they still lurking around that corner, who knows but you can be sure if and when EXIT do pounce we will be there to report it.

There has been only 1 breakthrough in the labs today with 'pradeepprotex' moving into the LMA. When our reporter 'Gormless Gary' caught up with him earlier today this is what he had to say for himself. "Whatever it is your selling I don't want it", he then proceeded to slam his town centre door and turned all the lights off. We can only assume he was very busy at that time, well, when you've been to Hell and back we guess you deserve some peace and quiet.

A quick reminder to all Guildies that the 'Master Warrior Of Atlantis' compo (setup by 'John Galt') is still running on our Guild Forum. There have been several entries since it's launch but we need more. If you are interested in entering or just want to find out more about the compo then please head on over to the Forum and look under the GAME DISSCUSSION tab. All entries are welcome and nothing will be overlooked. We promise.

**Other News**
*****************

There was commotion in the Academies all across Atlantis today as it appears 'DARK DDT' has created the new word "plungered". This new word sent teachers and students into a turmoil as dictionaries from across the land were torn up and burned. The reprinting of these dictionary’s is now underway and should be ready in a few days. When we asked 'DARK DDT' why he created this new word which led to so much chaos his response was somewhat to the point. "For fun". This is the second time 'DARK DDT' has sent Atlantis into anarchy, the first being his (alleged) crime of releasing a horde of Zombies. We shall be keeping an eye on 'DARK DDT' in the future because we all know what happens the third time.

Speaking of nefarious goings on we have been told by reliable(ish) sources that 'John Galt' has managed to create a cloning tank using technology from the Colonial Age. This so called 'BIO TANK' is being used to clone certain members of our Guild. Apparently the first victim to fall foul of this 'BIO TANK' is 'TonyEvl'. How do we know this you are asking yourselves, well, according to witnesses 'TonyEvl' was seen at the Market Square around lunchtime but around the same time as this he was spotted entering 'pfcjay's' palace brothel. When we asked 'pfcjays's palace doorman what name he used he said "Uh....DR EVIL". Does this mean that there are now two Evils in Atlantis or maybe even 3? we just don't know. However as soon as we get more information on these strange circumstances you will be the first to know about them.

************'BALLS' Extra, Extra **************
---Football News with Extra, Extra BALLS---

Following the collapse of Raxpools hamflickers due to inactivity and pure idleness the Atlantis Football league proudly announced new owners for the club at a press conference this morning. A spokesperson read out the following statement.

'The Atlantis Football association is proud to announce that we have secured new ownership for the failed Hamflickers club, we have worked tirelessly to bring in some new owners, otherwise the league would have been thrown into chaos, the fans of football owe us a great debt'.

The spokesperson then introduced the new owner Diziet, here is what he had to say.

"Yes it's true, I have taken over ownership of the Hamflickers, I had a few billion gold coins lying around doing nothing so decided it may amuse me to have a football club to play with".

"We are a very professional club and will be re-naming the team as 'Diziets Devastators', we intend to compete seriously within both the league and upcoming Atlantis National Cup in January, I expect great things from the team I have assembled, we have spent over 100 million gold coins on two strikers that make Ronaldo look like 'Winnie the Pooh'." I look forward to the challenge".

Our reporter was then allowed to watch an hour of the Devastators training session and he reports that the claims of a professional and excellent outfit are well founded. "The rest of the league had better watch out" he said.

Well we will see on Wednesday night whether this new 'super team' can live up to its name, until then folks this is Berty Chuckle signing off and wishing you a goodnight.

**Final Say**
***************

With so much going on in Atlantis today we surprised even ourselves that we managed to fit it all in. But rest assured that we will always try our hardest to fit it in no matter how tight the space. We hope you enjoyed today's issue of 'The Star' and as long as 'Lord Zand' doesn’t run off again like yesterday we should see you all same time same place tomorrow. Have fun......

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
By Royal Appointment.
Award winners.
 

John Galt

Issue #56 Wednesday 28th November 2012

*************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
***************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**
******************************

Good day fellow Guildies. Today has seen an uproar of chatter in the Guild, and not just from our resident chatterbox, regarding the GREAT BUILDING DEBATE. Many members of Atlantis have repelled the idea of this new feature while others have embraced it. With a decidedly split attitude towards this feature the debating could go on for some time yet. However we must not get distracted from our duty as an independent source of Guild news. Speaking of news, here are some of the other events which happened today around Atlantis.

We would like to appologize to 'rassie' for not recognising his entry into Atlantis yesterday. 'rassie' has become the newest member of our Guild and everyone at 'The Star' and in Atlantis would like to welcome him into our fold. After apologising and explaining to him about our problems with Tarquin he replied "That's cool, I really don't mind. I don't suppose you have some batteries for my mouse do you?". Thank you 'rassie' for you kind understanding.

Today has seen an unbelievable amount of breakthroughs in the Guild labs with 5 Guildies all advancing up an age. Congratulations to 'm-o-r-e-7-6', 'redhotcilipadis', 'chemaster', tarantula' and 'TonyEvl' for all making it into (currently) the last age or by its usual name the Colonial Age. This is great news for the entire Guild as it brings more Colonial Age Goods into the market for trade and also higher points for our Global Score. Atlantis salutes you all for your crowning achievements.

Lastly we would like to say a big Well Done to 'monarchy88' for making it into the top 100 (just) in the Global Rankings. When we personally congratulated him on his achievement he replied "merci... merci. Only another 99 places to go". Good luck with that 'monarchy88'.

**Other News**
******************

We would like to print that on Saturday 1st December 2012 'The Star' will be closing up for 1 week. This is so all our staff can take their well deserved holidays and basically take a break. During this time we would ask you to reflect on what it's like be without a daily paper and maybe appreciate rather than take for granted the vast amount of work required to keep it running. We would like to thank readers in advance for their patience during that week.

Just before this issue went to print we were given a statement from our Editor/Owner 'Burnside' to publish tonight. We therefore humbly oblige.

Hello fellow guildies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today has been a very hard day for me on my little planet of FoE. I totally despise and hate this 'great buildings' idea, as a lot of you have already read in the various messages. Up until ten minutes ago I was leaving Atlantis and probably FoE because of it, I truly believe that it will be the death knell of FoE.

Why do I think this, because it has already proven this to me in our guild alone, now some of you may not like what I am about to say but tough, I don't like the way you use the good and loyal guild members in Atlantis.

How many of you have crept out of the woodwork today to see if you can get a blueprint by P/M your guild mates,, MORE THAN ENOUGH OF YOU. You should actually be ashamed of yourselves, why can't you be bothered in normal times??? Not enough in it for you is there.
Well I have the results of the P/M activity and keep my own scores as well, I will not name names here tonight, not tonight anyway.

**Final Say**
***************

So ends probably one of the most interesting days in Atlantis history but also marks the end of this issue. In retrospect it probably seems like just another chaotic day for long standing Atlantians (we do like to express ourselves in this Guild). We hope you have learnt something from this issue but if not at least understood some of what you have been reading. Till tomorrow Guldies....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
By Royal Appointment.
Award winners.
 

John Galt

Issue #57 Thursday 29th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**
******************************

Greetings Guildies to issue 57 of 'The Atlantis Star'. After yesterdays Great Building Great Debate (which beat all records as the longest and most eventful debate in Atlantian history and nearly saw the loss of one of our Editors) today has been one of calm and peace throughout Atlantis.

Guildies are beginning to accept this new feature but some have decided to ignore it completely. Whatever your views on it it would seem it is here to stay so all 'The Star' can say to this is "The Race Is On". But NO Diamond mines allowed. Anyway that’s enough babble (or as 'DARK DDT' would say "Sory punk but , i will not post about this subject anny more") and on with the news.

Today saw 2 new members enter Atlantis. We would like to welcome 'Hammy1972' and 'Auriad' into Atlantis and wish them a long and prosperous stay with us. Our reporter managed to catch up with 'Hammy1972' earlier today to grab a few words, "The silver lining in all this is: 'All the idoiots(hmm.. DARK..maybe another word for your Dictionary) will suffer with me'". An interesting response we must say. Unfortunately 'Auriad' was unavailable to comment, something about to busy setting up Gallows. Our reporters get scared easily ya know.

We had another CA breakthrough today by 'blzbob'. More and more Guildies are now progressing into this age as each day passes which means more exotic goods for the trade market and better scores for the Guild. When we caught up with 'blzbob' to get his view on this grand achevivment he said this. "I now have a Travelling Circus...YAY...I now have access to Unicorns...YAY". What is it with the Unicorns people? Maybe it’s the horn, anyway thanks 'Blzbob' for your words and well done.

**Other News**
*****************

Firstly in other news 'Lord Zand' would like to thank all the Atlantians that helped him out with advice and tactics for the completion of a quest he was struggling with. Without your help 'Lord Zand' would have ended up burning all of his trees down...whew, which is not good as some of them have already been requested by Guild members for their Christmas Trees, and so again he thanks everyone for their help.

As a last request by 'Lord Zand' he would like to kindly ask all Atlantians to Rub his new Clock Tower whenever possible. We have been told that this erect structure is now the pride of Tall Trees Keep so needs to be rubbed daily. Im sure the Guild would be more than happy to Rub erect structures every day so keep on it Guildies.Thanks listening.

Secondly we had a report early on about a spam message about SPAM. This new food phenomena has swept through Atlantis like the T-Virus did through Raccon City. With many Guildies eating this new food (debatable) source we reckon it won’t be long before someone publishes the first Spam Recipe book and just in time for Christmas as well. Can it just be said that 'The Star' does not and never will condone Spam at any level and to prove this we have just ordered another 25 Serloin steaks from 'Burnsides's' abattoir, although lately everyone here has been suffering from shaky hands syndrome since we ordered the last batch..I hope it isn't...no of course it's not....is it?

Lastly 'The Star' would like to recognise the Guilds fantastic support in motivating/polishing each other. Although you may hate it, this Great Building thing has brought everyone outside, even the very, very shy Guildies who normally do F**K all. This can only be a good thing and one we are sure will lead to an even better community spirit than we already have. Give yourselves a pat on the back.

**Final Say**
***************

Well that’s it for another issue of ‘The Star’ readers. We hope you have found it informative and entertaining and hope you enjoy the rest of this somewhat peaceful and relaxing day here in Atlantis. Till next time...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
By Royal Appointment.
Award winners.
 

John Galt

Issue #58 Saturday 1st. December 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
***************************************************************

-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**
*************************

Firstly we will start with an apology from the Star for failing to bring you your daily edition last night. Unfortunately both editors were called away to other matters at the last minute, we decided that Tarquin who had volunteered to print it was not going to do the whole paper Him, Her, Itself, under any circumstances, we could just imagine, it would have been re-named something like 'Stardust' or 'Starlight' and have come out in glossy magazine form.

We have quite a few announcements in the guild news today with members in and out and a plethora of tech ups, so lets start with the outs:

EXIT have been at it again, members were hoping for a seasonal amnesty but those boys and girls at EXIT said, "Christmas", "Bah humbug".
So out went Astio, Bill001968 and UJKA Sam.
The big surprise for most was the demise of UJKASam, but, following an autopsy carried out by Doctiny it was found that he had herbalitis (A word for the dictionary) of the vital organs. As for the other two, who really cares, idle buggers.

New members who have yet to be introduced to Atlantis by the Star are: Rassie and Muttleyjeff, we know that both have been introducing themselves within the guild and also in the traders market, a good sign that we have found two good members and the Star wishes them every success.

The lab technicians have gone on overdrive mode over the last day or so and have been delivering early Christmas bonuses into the CA for, Redhotchillipadis, More76, TonyEvl, Tarantula, Chemaster, Gremla7 and Phanphan. The latter of which still thinks you can polish his goods production buildings??
Also tech up to LMA is Preedepprotex.
To all these members we say a hearty 'WELL DONE'. It bodes well for the guild that we have so many movers and shakers. (If we have missed anyone out please let us know and we will rectify it tomorrow).

Slyfoxy announces that he is now into full production at 3 porcelain factories and following his commtment of goods to his benevolent benefactor, (who enabled him to reach full production) he announces that porcelain will be on trade in the market tonight.
So if any of you members need porcelain to advance or capture territories then he asks that you put your trades up in quantities of no more than 10 at a time and he will distribute his goods fairly and equally.
He also asks that if you are not at a level where you need porcelain at the moment then do not bother this week, however he will have more in the kilns every day and you will all get a share.
Can't say fairer than that and our thanks go out to him.

OTHER NEWS:

Exciting times in the entertainment section have been announced in as much as Atlantis has it's very own dictionary of Atlantian words, A copyright edition has been started by DARKDDT titled 'The Atlantis dictionary of lost words'.
Several entries have already been made and anyone wishing to make an entry is welcome to do so.
DARKDDT has seen the profit possibilities of this and is hoping to get a printed edition out in time for Christmas, however there are still negotiations going on between him and the Stars editors concerning how much of a cut they will get for use of the only legal and royally appointed print rooms in Atlantis, we will give you more on this story as we get it.

DARKDDT enterprises have also announced that Atlantis will be holding it's very own pop concert, this event will be held in 'Tall Trees Keep' the home of Lord Zand and will be called 'The TT music festival'
We understand that some of the headline bands will be LZ (Yes the one and only LZ) The great Led Zeppelin, who have agreed to re-form as a group, (including the re-incarnation of dead band members), to play exclusively for DARKDDT.
This was only possible due to another well known group 'The Zombies' agreeing to allow the dead members to play.
Backing artists will include (We at the Star are not happy with this) none other than 'Tarquin and the Fairys' who are promising such classics as 'Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep' 'When you wish upon a star' and of course 'Karma Chamelion'.

Lord Zand is not happy with DARKDDT for booking this act and allowing him into his city, but as he says 'I need the points and money to stay in front of Burnside'. He needs them so much that he is building dozens of tree houses to rent out to the festival goers.

Yet more news:

Sightings have been coming in from various members of the guild concerning different colours of unicorn other than pink, when asked for the reason TonyEvl blamed the whole phenomenon on John Galts cloning machine, he said that he (John) had corrupted his herd of pink ones by introducing a male rainbow unicorn.
Other strange unicorn sightings have been Unibees and a very late sighting of a flying unicorn with believed to be a cross between a unicorn and pegasus otherwise known as a UniPeg (Another dictionary entry we think).

Other news concerning TonyEvl is not so colourful, it is alleged that he is selling hard core pornographic material out of one of his libraries, our reporters went to TonyEvl's city and reported seeing scores of men dressed in brown overcoats with flat caps and false moustaches going into the library on the edge of the city and all came out carrying a brown paper bag.
We are aware that the Atlantis anti-corruption squad are on the case and should TonyEvl be found distributing such filth and then found guilty at court, we could witness the very first Atlantian hang, draw and quarter punishment.
Rest assured we will try and get a more in depth report into this matter as soon as we can and should the punishment take place then we will have pictures of TonyEvl. All four of them.

Now onto tonights football results, fortunately all league games were played today after Wednesday nights league programme was cancelled following all the rain that had fallen in the past week flooding all pitches.

********** BALLS *********
All your sports news in one bag:

************* DIVISION 1 *************

Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 3 Burnsides Bulldogs 6

Tarquins Fluffies (Replaed UJKA SAM) 3 Hokage Pink Unicorn 4

UK's Finest 2 Furnikus's Crockers 2

Spurdensda's Spud LUFC 2 Jizzalots 1

Knycknacs Kicker crackers 6 Monarchy88 Cpi Butanding 6

Lord Farrals Bravehearts 6 More Savon Voema 5

Mariposa's Monarchs 6 Rinbins Jesters 6

Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 3 Seamonkey Westmonk 2

********* DIVISION 2 *************

TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 4 Akbhoy Celtic Galactico's 2

Wizofwoz Wrecklace Warriors 4 Akhil Wonder 3

Zanders Zombies 2 Caphalor Titans 5

The Bho's Ballhogs 5 Doctinys Speculums 4

Galts Bohemians 1 Mmarrkks Tartan Spartans 1

Gremla MK Maribor 6 PFCJay's Thunder 2

Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs 3 Raxpools Hamflickers 2

Ragu Silvertongues Bounders 4 Slyfoxys City Slickers 1

Look for a more sports news and reactions to todays results in your Sunday supplement 'BALLS EXTRA' out tomorrow.

Fianlly:

Well that's it for today folks, plenty to think about and discuss down at the old 'Pig and Firkin' tonight. Will TonyEvl be able to sleep?? Will this be the end of pure pink unicorns?? will he get hung drawn and quartered?? What will DARKDDT enterprises think up for the event if he does??. Goodnight.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
By Royal Appointment.
Award winners.
 

John Galt

Issue #60 Monday 3rd. December 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
****************************************************************

-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

"Twinkle twinkle little star how I wond..... "

"T-A-R-Q-U-I-N" "SHUT THE **** UP, OR I'LL SHOVE YOU ON TOP OF THAT DAMNED TREE"

Oh hello guildies, sorry about that but I am at my wits end with that demented, hyperactive, mincer today, He, She, It, hasn't stopped singing Christmas songs since we opened up the office at 7am this morning.
He, She, It, has been putting what He, She, It, calls the final touches to the tree. God you ought to see the size of the fairy on top, it's lifelike, in fact I'm pretty sure it's blow-up. It's got on the most lurid Barbie pink chiffon dress, I am not sure about it being a female fairy though cos it looks like it's got stubble.
Lord Zand sure knows when to pick his holidays.

Anyway lets get on with the news today:

News in the Guild:

We saw one member leaving the guild last night, Wizofwoz left under somewhat of a cloud. Following several swapped messages he decided to leave, the big boss was not happy at the way it was done and would like to remind ALL members that we have a policy on how we evict members and that this should be left to the EXIT team only.

We understand how frustrating it is to see people who we think are leaching on us, but our policy gives them ample opportunity to rectify that and if they don't then they are out.

Some players have reasons why they cannot P/M at a particular time and some of these reasons are personal and you will not know about it. I myself have difficulty in making P/M some days due to the nature of work that I do, but I cannot tell everyone what the nature of that work is.
We are aware that an apology was made immediately after John Galts comments on the matter and we will leave it at that.

Coming in to the guild is Iamking888. Again this has caused one hell of a controversy, Tarquin threatened to go straight to the palace and have a word with his friend the King Everad V1.
"Who the hell does he think he is" He, She, It, screamed on finding out, I will have him beheaded then burned and if hes still alive I will feed him to the lions in the Atlantis Zoo.

I managed to calm him down by pointing out that most members thought it was Lamking888, He, She, It, has accepted this, so now we have a Lamking to go with our Unicorn King. (More on him later). Welcome Lamking.

As well as leavers and joiners we have had one tech-up since our last issue with Akhil.gupta making it into the CA. We caught up with Akhil and tried to get a few words from him, unfortunately he could not speak as he had lost his voice whooping and a hollering. WELL DONE AKHIL!!!

Other news:

In this diversly cultural Guild of Atlantis we learn new things every day, today we learnt that Mr Jism in Hindi actually means Mr. Body... Well you ought to have seen the smile on Tarquins face when he found out, "Oooooh Mr. Body, I hope that means what I think it does" He, She, It, simpered.
We have sent out an urgent message to Mr. Jism to warn him that Tarquin intends to make a visit to his city to find out for His, Her, Itself.

Still more news:

An excellent idea was put forward today by Monarchy, he suggests that if you are asking for a P/M then you put your guild position number in the message to save everyone going all through the guild to find you. I.E. Burnside #13 (My lucky number by the way). So if we can all adopt this proceedure from now on I think it will be a great help. Well done Monarchy.

Still more news:

The Atlantis football league officials called an emergency meeting today. They are concerned that with all the evictions being made by EXIT the league is looking a little strange. They advised that we need some new members to come forward to take over some of the teams that have gone into liquidation, so they are asking anyone to contact Burnside if they would like to participate.
The officials summoned the leaders of the guild and gave them an ultimatum, sort it out or we pull the plug on the league, Burnside pointed out that the Atlantis Star sponsored the league and inadvertently paid their wages and told them to stop making demands or they would pull the sponsor money. The league officials shut up and apologised. Starnge how cold hard cash speaks louder than words.

Last bit of news:

We have just had a late piece of news into the office. In the last half hour the Atlantis corruption squad have arrested TonyEvl for making death threats via a guillotine to their members.
TonyEvl has played right into the squads hands by doing this as they are at this minute rushing over to TonyEvl's city with a search warrant granted by the Atlantis high command, I dread to think what they wll find.
We will have more on this story tomorrow as soon as we get it.

Another day in Atlantis draws to a close, and what a day it has been, full of controversy and intriugment. Will Lamking888 accept his new title or risk the wrath of our King?? Will Mr. Jism find somewhere to hide away from Tarquin?? Will TonyEvl ever get out of the Atlantis dungeons alive??. Even we can't wait for tomorrows issue now. See you all soon folks.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*
By Royal Appointment.
Award winners.