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Guild Fel Dranghyr (en6) - Atlantis: Guild Daily Journal

John Galt

Issue #21 Tuesday 23rd October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good day Atlantis and WOW what a day we've had here at 'The Star'. We have been working non stop compiling the vast amounts of news and announcements we have been recieving into a readable paper. Lets see if we managed to succeed, on with the news.

We have had an amazing day in the Atlantis labs with 5 age advancements.

'wizofwoz', 'm-o-r-e-7-6', 'misaoipunk' and 'reem11' all moved into the LMA and were collectively happy about the breakthroughs. Unfortunatly we were unable to get comments from any of them due to them all discovering and participating in a strange game called Forge of Empires.

But the real tech news that everyone is talking about comes from the huge leap by 'm3gatron' who earlier astounded all by moving into the CA. Yes we have our first Guild member in the new age. We can't help but feel some of this is down to the enormous Diamond vein 'm3gatron' seems to have found in his city. If you ever feel like sharing 'megatron' please make all Diamond donations payable to 'Lord Zand' or 'Burnside'.

It has come to 'The Star's' attention that there has been some trouble in the Guild Market Square lately over correct trade deal ratios. In order to try to sort this problem out a poll has been started by our Founder 'John Galt' on the Guild Forum under Guild Polls. It describes how the Guild would implement rules for fairer trading on all goods for the benifit of all Atlantians. It is highly recomended that all Guild Members partake in this poll as it could lead to a better structure for our Guild Market.

In another anouncement made by our Leaders today, they wish to inform all Guildies that the Guild Forum post with game resources has been updated. The main addition is a guide to sector negotiations with a summary of all resource costs, also the full quests list is there. This, we are sure, will come in handy for all those seeking to get the best out of their little cities, and thank you leaders for that vital information you gave us.

**Other News**

It seems today we reveal the other side of our Leaders lives with 2 stories about what they get up to when their not working hard to stop Atlantis colapsing in on itself :

Our two intrepid 'Star' men 'Lord Zand' and 'Burnside' were walking along the beach the other day during their half hour lunch break(Zander is so mean we don't even ge an hour). As they were walking along 'Burnside' saw a bottle washed up on the shore and picked it up, upon opening it a genie popped out and said "I grant you one wish each"

'Burnside' said "I wish I had more gold and tools than anyone in Fel Draghyr and was lounging on a mediterranean beach with two gorgeous nymphomaniac blondes and a good bottle of single malt whisky". WHAM, he dissapeared as he had wished.

"And what do you wish" said the genie to 'Lord Zand'. "I wish that he was back after lunch, we have a deadline to meet and 'The Star' has to be out at 8pm". (I'm gonna kill him, so help me).

During a leaders meeting the other day 'John Galt' was complaining that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:"I'm the Boss!" He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

Uhhh..well that would explain why we can never get 'John Galt' round for our weekly poker game at 'The Star'. However 'Lord Zand' really IS that mean to his Co.Editor 'Burnside'. "We didn't get where we are today by lounging around and fiddling with Blondes" a reporter heard him say one day in the office.

We are happy to say that 'The Star' is fully behind 'Lord Zand' after the *DOG TURD IN THE TOP DESK DRAWER* prank by 'Burnside' (No I'm not gonna get over it). So thats all for this issue of 'The Star'. Remember to check out the new poll and the updated Game Resource pages on the Guild Forum and we shall love you and leave you Guildies. Till tomorrow ...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #22 Wednesday 24th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good Day Guildies or maybe not so Good Day. Oh Dear, Oh Dear, it seems as if we have a major problem in our Guild fellow Atlantians. Yes only earlier today 'The Star' was handed a report from our Guild Leaders about the sorry state of affairs regarding the support (or lack of) from you our Guild Members. Now to those members out there who do support other Guildies, before you go off in a huff let us turn your attention to a small list of names we have been allowed to publish.

Below is a collection of members who have constantly supported (i.e. 6 or 7 times a week) other Guild members since their arrival.

'acedude, doctiny628, genius8, jimmyhig, john nietos, kradlum, lord zand, m-o-r-e-7-6, mrjism, props, sallton, spurdensda, thebho, uktrooper, Burnside, John Galt'

These members have all immediately been awarded the coveted 'Atlantis Star Cross' medal for services in supporting. If your name is not on the list, and let’s face it Guildies there are a lot of names not on it, then it means you are not supporting your Guild members enough.

This is a SERIOUS BREECH of our Guild Rules, which everyone would have received when they joined Atlantis (a copy of the rules are also available in the Guild Forum). All Guild members MUST support their fellow Guildies MINIMUM 3 times a week but preferably once a day. Failure to comply with any of the Guild Rules could mean an instant dismissal from Atlantis, and we really don't want that to happen. So c'mon people get supporting your fellow Guild members and make Atlantis the strongest Guild in Fel Dranghyr

Oh and a little piece of info for you. If you support all 79 Guild members (exclude yourself obviously) you can make 1580 free coins a day. Now free money for doing something as easy as polishing or motivating seem like a no brainer to us. Think about it.

So far we have a small group of dedicated leech watchers but we could always do with some more. If you are interested in helping the Guild Leaders find and stop these free riders then please Private Message one of the Leaders and they will be happy to help you get started. But to all those members out their thinking they can get away with it, think again. You ARE being watched.

Today saw another mass of scientific advances. 'Asti0', 'goblinking', 'gremla7' and 'MrJism' all moved up into the LMA. With every passing day our Guild becomes more advanced with more and more members moving into the higher echelons of time. With this comes the prospect of more advanced goods in our market and much better player scores to add to our Guild total. All in all a very good sign, well there had to be one good thing to report about today.

**Other News**

We did have a whole host of stories to tell you about today but due to the above report we kind of lost the will to write. So here are a few little riddles and funny verses for you instead:

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other


If the plural of house is houses
and the plural of mouse is mice
why then the plural of grouses
should surely be written as grice.

and if the plural of deer is deer
and the plural of fish is fish
then the plural of beer should be beer
and the plural of dish should be dish.

If mouses run over houses
and eat up our loves and our scones
why then our lice should be louses
and our phones should be sounded as phons.


And last but not least this Editor's favourite rhyme:

Friday night is my delight and so is Saturday morning
But Sunday night gives me a fright 'cause it's work on Monday morning

There you have guildies a very strange issue of 'The Star' for you today. Please, Please do remember to try and support your fellow Guildies and remember if you would like to help please PM one of the Guild leaders, let’s hope that tomorrows issue is a little more uplifting for everyone. Till then...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #23 Thursday 25th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

A few things to mention today. 'Donalddo' and 'Reem11' have left the Guild, to where we don't know. 'moff' and 'Julo' also left today without even saying goodbye to Atlantis but we're sure wherever they go they will be remembered for their good support and helpful input towards the Guild. Or maybe not. However we have had a new member join us today. Please all give a warm reception to 'matuland' (isn't that a bed superstore), we are sure his time with us will be profitbale for him and all other Guild members.

We have had 3 Guildies advance in age today. 'empted', 'Kradlum' & 'redhotcillipadis' all moved into the LMA. With this rate of technological breakthroughs it won't be long before we have our second CA Guild member. 'm3gatron' still has the monopoly on that one.

And now a message from our Editor 'Burnside' :

Fellow guild members, yesterday was a grey day in Atlantis and I'm not talking about the weather. It saw unrest and unease within the guild on a scale not before seen.

We may have all thought that everything in the garden was rosy, how wrong we all were.

There had been an undercurrent of unrest over certain issues amongst the leaders and others for some time and this finally came to a head over the problem with Polishing and Motivation of members.

As a result it has seen two senior members of the guild 'Donalddo' and 'Reem11' leave us for pastures new. Now I do not rejoice in this matter, however, the divisions were so great that this is probably the best outcome for all concerned parties.

We all play this game in a different way, that is how the game is designed, we all have varying levels of online time and commitment, whether that be due to circumstance or choice. What we must NEVER lose sight of though is that this is a game, one that should be played for enjoyment and friendship and the goal of a common cause... to be as good at it as you can be.

Following yesterdays unrest we now ask for a period of calm and reflection, reflection in yourselves, were you perhaps unwittingly part of the cause of the unrest?? did you do as much P/M as you could have done??. Ask yourself that question and if the answer you find is no then all we ask is that you put right that mistake and do your fair share. Nothing more, nothing less.

Atlantis is by far and away the best guild that FOE has ever had and ever will have, and why is that. It is because everyone now left in this guild believes that it can only do them good and better their playing experience.

There will be changes afoot very soon, but the leaders of this guild need your help to:

1: Discuss and agree to those changes.
2: Abide by the rules of the guild (which will be re-drafted and sent to all members as soon as possible) once those changes have been agreed upon.
3: Take an active part in all debates and discussions in the future.

Together we can re-build the trust and status of this guild, what we need from you is active dedication and help for all your fellow guild members.

Remember there is strength in numbers and unity, unite to stand, divide to fall.

I will end with some proper poetry not that drivel you had yesterday... some of you may recognise it... by the way this will be on my headstone when I fall from this mortal coil.

The road goes ever on and on
down from the door where it begun
now I must follow if I can
pursuing it with weary feet
until it meets some larger way
where many paths and errands meet
and whither then I cannot say.


Oh and one more thing, please don't forget to list your football team name in the Guild Forum for the upcomming AFL. Currently we have about 18-20 team names but I need more. The thread can be found under the Entertainment Tab. Thanks again.

**Other News**

Yes believe it or not we do have some other news today apart from the P/M debate. We recieved a story here at 'The Star' some time this morning by 'Raxpool' one of our Guild Members. I have been asked to print it so....

Today I have started building my first Farm.
It's been a hell of a long WHEAT, but it was worth it.
This momentous moment should be motivation to all, if I can do it, anybody CORN.
I can honestly say that over the last fortnight, BARLEY a day has passed when I haven't thought about this very moment. It's absolutely a MAIZE ing.

The Shoemakers weren't all that happy about me taking their land to make room for the farms, but SHOE are they to stand in the way of progress. As I said to them, their dominance cannot LAST forever so I'm going to have to give you the BOOT. The sale of their buildings even helped me FOOT the bill. I felt very sorry for one particular shoemaker who commented that I'd ripped his heart and SOUL out, but hey.... HEEL be ok given time.

Thank you 'Raxpool' for your enlighting story and let's hope the shoemaker get's over the loss of his shop. What makes this story even better is that it was written by a Guild member and not 'The Star'. We hope this is a hint to remind all Guild members that if you have a story that you wish to be published in our daily paper then Private Message any of the Editors. We really don't mind.

Well that's it for another issue. We hope you found it intresting and entertaining and we would like to thank 'Burnside' and 'Raxpool' for their contributions to this issue. Till next time Guildies....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #24 Friday 26th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

"I'm so excited, I just can't Hide it, I'm about to lose control and I think I like it". Have you got the Friday feeling yet. Hello Guildies and welcome to another fine issue of 'The Atlantis Star. Our Guild members have certainly perked up over the last few days with there supporting of other Guild members. This is great news for Atlantis and could be the start of something spectacular, we shall wait and see. Anyway let's get on with the ggod stuff:

We have had a mass of members advance up today. Ready for it...Yes...then here we go. 'Prefect', Petovian', spurdensda', Ujka Sam', 'Animenoob', 'tim1313', 'John Nietos' and 'milesa' ..Phew.. all managed to excell in there scientific fields by heading into the LMA. We can only imagine what the labs must have looked like after that lot of sucesses in one day. We were hoping to get some responses from all or any of them but they were all to busy entertaining someone named Jack in their Town Halls. Who is this mysterious figure that seems to be everywhere. All we know is that 'The Star's' vegetable field is missing a few pumpkins. Strange indeed.

We recieved some news from one of our Guild members just before print. 'akhil.gupta' has reported to us that this Jack fella has built a Graveyard in his city 'TIGER'. This so called Graveyard gives you 890 happiness. But you can only have one if you finish all of this Jack fella's quests. Thanks 'akhil.gupta' for this information, we hope that it will go some way towards explaning who and what this Jack is up to. We remind all Guild members to be on the lookout for Jack and any missing pumpkins from vegetable fields, and if you find a Graveyard in your city one morning then please let us know about it.

**Other News**

And now for something completely different, well ok so maybe not. Just a few stories for you today. Enjoy:

One day 'Kradlum' was riding in his limosine horse cart when he saw a guy eating grass. He told his driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass". The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can't afford a thing to eat". So Kradlum said, "Poor guy, come back to my house". The guy then said, "But I have a wife and three kids". Kradlum told him he could bring them along to. When they were all in the cart, the poor man said, "Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you". Kradlum said, "You're going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall".


'd16lev' goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it". 'd16lev' says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?". The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't rude.""Deal!" says 'd16lev' and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster.

He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing songs, and the hamster is really good. The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano".'d16lev' downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Money or another miracle else no drink", says the bartender. 'd16lev' reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog.

He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to 'd16lev' and offers him 300 gold coins for the frog. "It's a deal" says 'd16lev'. So he takes the 300 gold and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.

The bartender says "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for 300 gold coins It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy". "Not so", says 'd16lev'. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."

So there is the news today Guildies, a strange selection of stories from across Atlantis that we hope brought you a little smile and maybe even a chuckle or two. And remember with the weekend just round the corner lets also hope that there's plenty of support for all members of Atlantis. See you at the weekend....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #25 Saturday 27th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Welcome to the weekend Guildies and what a weekend we're having here at 'The Star'. First things first though, let's find out what you Guildies have been up to today.

Today saw the recruitment of 1 new member to the Guild. 'phantom_24' joins Atlantis and takes up 74th place (but for how long?). We all welcome 'phantom_24' and hope he enjoys his time with us. This is great news as we still have a few places to fill after the Polishgate scandal which saw a few members leave.

Some technology news now, 'Salton', 'seamonkey', 'Caphalor' and 'bill001968' all advanced into the LMA today. Just as we said yesterday, with this amount of Guildies moving up in Ages we feel it won't be long before we have another Colonial Age tech up. But even if thats still far away you have to admit that it wont be long before there is no one in our Guild who isn't in the LMA. Keep it up science boffs.

The Atlantis leaders have been in disscussions with 'The Star' regarding the hiring of a new leader. Nothing has been finalised yet but there will be an advert in the paper very soon. We kindly ask that over the next few days you have a think about this. The possition requires some serious free time so please take this into consideration. But like we said nothing has been finalised yet but rest assured that when the Leaders are ready 'The Star' will be there to let you know about it.

**Other News**

Over the last few days Atlantis has been talking about this Jack fella and his absurd quests. Well we said that we would find out more about him and thanks to 'Caphalor' (who has been spying undercover) we now have a report ready. This information has come at a price for poor 'Caphalor' as he now can't stop eating pumpkins, however before he ate the office Jack 'O Lantern he managed to give us his report.

'Caphalor's Jack Report'

Attention people of Atlantis. As mentioned in yesterday’s edition of the Atlantis Star a pumpkin going by the name of Jack O’Lantern has been reported roaming the lands. He will be haunting your empire until the 4th of November trying to confuse you with his riddles.

However they are worth trying to figure out because for each one you complete Mr. Lantern will reward you with random gifts. And if you manage to finish them all you will be rewarded with a cultural building called a graveyard which produces a significant amount of happiness.If Mr. Lantern’s riddles have gotten the better of you don’t worry, the solutions will be posted on the guild forum later this evening. Make sure you complete the riddles and collect your rewards before Mr. Lantern disappears into the night on the 4th of November never to be seen again.

Thank you 'Caphalor' for this vital information. Hopefully it has shed some light on this Jack, although with all these bad riddles he is using he reminds us of a certain Jester we all know. Hmmm. Don't forget to check out 'Caphalor's thorough report in the Guild Forum under the tab 'Game Disscussion'.


How about a Guild story now:

'eigis' and her dog are walking through the forest when they suddenly fall into a pit. They scramble and scramble but can't make their way out. 'eigis' yells, the dog barks, but no one is around to hear their calls for help. Slowly, the night sky turns black and they find themselves engulfed in utter darkness. Off in the distance, the wolves begin howling. Each howl is louder and closer than the last. 'eigis' holds the dog close to her chest and says sadly to the dog, "This is the worst mess in which we have ever found ourselves, my darling Sparky". "Yeah," the dog says, "we're really screwed". "Sparky," says, 'eigis' astonished, "I didn't know you could talk". "Well," the dog says, "I was kinda waiting for the right time to tell you".

So that's all for today folks. 'eigis' has a talking dog and mysterious Jack has been exposed thanks to the fine work by 'Caphalor'. Not a bad day of news if we say so ourselves. Please don't forget to place you Football team name in the Guild Forum as the league begins on Monday and you could miss out on a place and remember if you have a funny tale or silly story you would like to see published then send it to any of the Editors and you to could see your work published. Have fun Atlantians....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #26 Sunday 28th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Howdy Atlantis. With the weekend drawing to a close there is no shortage of news to report. In fact we have printed so much news today that our red ink ran out. Thankfully Chuck, our work experience lad, donated some of his blood (well ok alot of his blood) to help us out. Unfortunatly Chuck is now residing in our Graveyard but hey it is halloween so maybe he will come back as a zombie. Anyway enough with the chit chat and on with the colossal amount of news to report.

We had 1 new member join Atlantis today. 'TonyEvl' made his apperance earlier today at the Atlantis gates pleading to be let in as he was being chased by his 20 wives with knives. Apparently he had forgoten their anniversaries which is not a wise thing to do. 'John Galt' felt sympathetic towards 'TonyEvl' and he was granted access into Atlantis. (John you big softy).

In science news 2 Guildies advanced up an age today. 'd16lev' and 'draig' both entered the LMA and were overcome with emotion by the news. "What a day my lab techs have had. First they discover the meaning of life (42) and then they discover the LMA. I'm so proud of them" explained 'd16lev'. 'draig' also congratulated his techies by saying "All this time I thought they were developing a reverse functioning actuator for my Vibro bed, but they were in fact advancing me up the Age ladder. What a great and welcome suprise that was. Now where is that vibra.......". Unfortunatly we had to shorten the speech due to the watershed.

We have been asked to mention today that 'mmarrk2012' has won all of the PvP Towers that he fought in over the week. He won top spot in the Bronze, Iron, Early Middle Age and the High Middle age tornaments. A big Well Done to 'mmarrkk2012' from everyone at 'The Star'. He also announced that he will be celibrating this achevment with a massive party at his Town Hall later tonight and everyone is invited. No wonder he is skint. Free booze, count us in. See you there Guildies.

**Other News**

---Raxpool Causes Panic---

There was confusion, and panic in the traders market yesterday. Confusion because 'Raxpool' put up a trade for some gold for copper, he then quickly changed his mind and asked for two stones for his copper. Rumour and wonderment quickly spread amongst the traders, had Raxpool actually had his alchemists practising dark art chemistry whereby he could have them make stone turn to gold?. Had he found the midas touch?.

People were seen clammering for stone and the price for it rocketed in the hope that he could actually turn stone to gold. 'mmarrkk2012' (Who openly admits that he is skint) was seen in all the ploughed fields of Atlantis filling sacks full of stone in this vain hope that his problems and troubles were all over. His poor donkey was laden down and buckling at the knees.

In the end 'Raxpool' had to swallow his pride and very red faced he admitted that he had put the wrong trade in. 'mmarrkk2012' was furious and was seen throwing stones at anything that moved all the way home to his poor skint hovel. We hope he has used up all his stones now as Booze and throwing stones don't really go together.


This is what we have been eagerly waiting for, for what seems like an age now, The Atlantis football league, league cup and Atlantis national cup are about to kick off.

There has been a flurry of activity with members setting up football teams all over Atlantis, the demand for bricks and stone (No not gold ones 'Raxpool') has been phenominal as members build their stadiums, cash has been flowing in the transfer market like confetti, so much so that 'mmarrk2012' is skint. Again.

It is now upon us, the time for all the talk and posturing has ended, who will be crowned the first champions of leagues one and two?? who will win the league and national cups?? who will disgrace themselves and let down their fans and be relegated...... We are about to find out.

There will be two leagues, division 1 and 2 (No posing premiership and championship for Atlantis). Each league will consist of 16 teams who will play each other over 30 games home and away.

The cups will be a straight knockout each round being drawn individually. the league cup semi final will be played over two legs home and away and this competition will kick off the season with the first round matches being played on Wednesday.

League games will be played on Saturday and Monday so watch the star for a round up supplement on Sundays and Tuesdays with cup round ups on Thursday... (I am having Fridays off as a treat). So in 16 weeks all will be revealed and the champions crowned... Will it be smiles all round for your team or tears cried into your half time cups of tea??? LET THE GAME BEGIN.

My good wife has made all the draws so as to be impartial, and she will roll the dice to decide the game results..... Her word is final (Believe me).

**Sports News**

So they are here at last the leagues, in alphabetical order for a start, as drawn by the good Mrs. Burnside (and NO my being in the first division was not a cheat).

Division 1:

Burnsides Bulldogs
Fernikus's Kickers
Jimmyhig County
Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding
Kyncknacs Kicker Crackers
Lord Farrals Bravehearts
Mariposa's Monarchs
Monarchy88 CPi Butanding
More76 Saxon Voema
Rinbins Jesters
Salltons Sallinea United
Spurndensa's Spud LUFC
Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia
Ujka Sams Burkisland
UK's Finest


Akhboy76 Celtic Galactico's
Akhil Wonder
Caphalor Titans
Doctiny's Speculums
Empted STB Old Boys Club
Galts Bohemians
Gremla MK Maribor
Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs
mmarrkk's Tartan Spartans
PCFJay Thunder
Raxpools Hamflickers
Slyfoxy's City Slickers
The Bho's Ballhogs
TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies
Wizofwoz Wreclace Warriors
Zanders Zombies

And here is the draw for the first round of the Atlantis League cup... Games will be played on Wednesday 31st October.

Wizofwoz Wreclace Warriors Vs Galts Bohemians

Caphalors Titans Vs Jizzalots

Burnsides Bulldogs Vs Zanders Zombies

Mariposa's Monarchs Vs UK's Finest

More76 Saxon Voema Vs Slyfoxy's City Slickers

Akhboy Celtic Galactico's Vs Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding

Akhil Wonder Vs Fernikus's Kickers

Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs Vs Jimmyhig County

Kyncknacs Kicker Crackers Vs Raxpool Hamflickers

Rinbins Jesters Vs Ujka Sams Bukisland

Gremla7 MK Maribor Vs Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia

Doctinys Speculums Vs Lord Farrals Bravehearts

Salltons Sallinea United Vs Empted STB Old Boys Club

Spurndensa's Spud LUFC Vs Monarchy88 CPi Butanding

PFCJays Thunder Vs mmarrkks Tartan Spartans

The Bho's Ballhogs Vs TonyEvl Big Beer Bellies

**Final Word**

Well there you have it Guildies. Another issue of 'The Star' brought to your door, free of charge. We are extremly gratefull to everyone who has contributed stories and Atlantis tittle tattle to our daily paper today and hope that it continues to amuze and entertain you all. Keep your eyes peeled for more great news stories and information in tomorrow's issue of 'The Star'. Till then people...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #27 Monday 29th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Good evening fellow guildies here we are with another edition of our famous newspaper, it hardly seems a day since we issued the last one (wait a minute, it was only a day ago), time goes so quickly in the fast lane of journalism.

Today we have quite a lot to talk about within the guild, Sallton left us without warning, but there is an exclusive report on this matter within the sports column below.

We welcome three new members to the guild... S.T.A.L.K.I.N.G who we are assured is a really nice person despite his creepy name. Brutusbraveheart and last but not least Hokage14 who sneaked in last night just as the guild gates were closing, apparently this is one of the 20 wives that were chasing TonyEvl, however if she has caught up with him yet we do not know, we will have to keep an eye out for that story, in the Meantime the guild peacekeepers have been told to be extra diligent just in case she still has the knife.

There were three citys celebrating advancement to LMA since our last issue. Congratulations go out to matuland ... stipsa .... and PFCJay. We were only able to catch up with PFCJay who said that despite us getting the wrong Pompey last time we reported on his city, he thought that the rumble of excitement at getting advancement was better than Pompei and the eruption of Versuvius.

Following on from the successes in the PvP tournaments our congratulations go out to Knycknac who informs the Star that he also won 3 tournaments last time out... Lets have a big round of applause folks.

The Star would now like to introduce a new member to our team, due to the rising amount of problem letters we are receiving we have decided to appoint an agony Aunt. Well an agony Uncle well we think he is a he but we are not sure and neither Lord Zand nor I dare ask him, her, it.

Anyway please welcome our agony columnist Tarquin Buttockclencher.

Well hello dearies, my what a drab place this editorial room is, still I will soon spruce it up a bit with some nice chintz curtains and a few pansies scattered around the place, those horrible hard chairs have gone, I replaced them with bean bags and scatter cushions, and no more stewed tea, cappuccino darling and fizzy water. Well enough of that lets begin with our very first problem letter..

This was sent in by a guild member who will remain anonymous for obvious reasons so we will call him Wozofwiz instead of his real name so nobody knows who it is. Here is his letter:

Dear Tarquin,

I have recently had some major developments in my life. A huge opportunity presented itself to me and I have found myself in the lucky position of doing my dream job that of being a football manager of a high profile club, however, this has turned out to be the worst moment in my life and I'm not sure I can go on.
The paparazzi are outside my house day and night looking for expose's in my private life and I'm sure the local Bohemian coach has my phone line tapped.
I've subsequently started taking dry herbs and the monkeys ran off with my wife please help.

OOooh I say you poor thing. Never mind luvvy things always look darkest just before dawn as my dear old mummy used to say.
Now what I suggest is that you invite all those lovely butch reporters in (especially that Lord Zand) (I have my eye on him) Sit them down and give them all a nice cup of camomile tea, that will soothe their nerves and they won't be bothering you as much.
As for the monkey running off with your wife, well I never, mind you looking at the photo you sent in with your letter I cant say I blame her.
My remedy is to go and ask Ujka sam for some of his really good stuff and then you wont know what planet you are on and wont care, case solved.

Bye luvvies speak soon (MWAHH).


OK now we will go to our sports section for the latest gossip.

As already mentioned Sallton has left the Guild, he sneaked off without telling anyone the reason why but our crack reporters tracked him down on the road to nowhere, here is what he told him.

"Well it was like this you see, I got this football club together to compete in the Atlantis league, and I thought to myself I know a way to get rich quick. So what I did was to train up 100 goalkeepers, then I flooded the market with them, I was only asking for 10 strikers for one goalkeeper, now you cant ask fairer than that now can you, Can you......

I think he said it all.

More news from the league. Due to Salltons club going into liquidation a new club has emerged to take their place Seamonkeys Westmonk will now compete in Division 1 and will play Empted STB Old Boys Club in the league cup.

Another team went into liquidation later today, that being Furnikus's Kickers. Apparently the Atlantis football association governing body had been to watch them train and saw that they wore steel toe capped boots, they kicked them out fearing for the safety of the other teams.
Into the breach steps our second ladies team (They have come a long way in football lately so watch out boys) yes we have Hokage14 Pink Unicorn, they will play in Division 1 and will play Akhil Wonder in the league cup.

Last but not least our apologies go out to Akbhoy67 for the miss-spelling of his name in yesterdays Star.

That's all folks as the rabbit always said. See you around this time tomorrow... Oh wait a minute though... The Star may be a little late tomorrow due to unforseen circumstances. but be rest assured it will be with you as soon as it can possibly be printed.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #28 Tuesday 30th October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************

-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News------------

I am going to start the Star tonight with our heartfelt sympathy and thoughts for all those affected by hurricane Sandy in America and we wish all a safe passage through the hard times, we do not know if we have any guild members who have been affected by this, but would like to hear from them if we have, a simple PM to Burnside please.

**The News In The Guild**

Greeting fellow guild members, as predicted yesterday by our all seeing editor Burnside, the Star is late out tonight and we apologise for any squirming, discomfort or late night we may have caused.

Lets get straight in with the following:

********************** ADVERT FOR GUILD LEADER ************************************

Due to the increase in work that the current leaders are undertaking in order to bring to you some mirth and entertainment, alongside all the administration jobs that go with running a guild we have decided that we need help (No not that we need help) but that we need another pair of hands, eyes and ears to assist.
We are seeking an active player who can devote additional time to guild administration on top of the regular playing time on a daily basis.
Could you fulfil this role, the exact nature of which will be explained to any person who applies.
If you think you could give the guild leaders that extra pair of hands then please PM John Galt who will discuss the position with you. Dependant upon how many applications we get or do not get will depend on whether we need to ask you further questions in an interview type scenario.
Thanks in anticipation.

Today saw a flurry of activity in Atlantis, firstly the sad leaving from the guild of Blzbob. Now this was a leaving for reasons that have been explained by Blzbob to the leadership but will remain private, however, please be reassured that it was nothing that had gone wrong as far as Blzbob and the guild, just personal. Plus he reassures us that he may return at some point, we will all welcome him back if and when he does.

WE have a new member to introduce that being Ophion, we at the Star extend a heart felt guild welcome to you.

The lab technicians have been putting in overtime again as we have 4 members who have moved into the LMA. well done for all the hard work goes to Igsoeh... Genius8... Props and Tarantula.
I wish they would stop doing it so regular my liver cant cope with all these promotion parties one after the other...... Hey where's my drink :)

There was some other bad news in the guild today when the Atlantis first aiders were called to an emergency at Caphalors city where he is undergoing major re-construction.
Caphalor accidentally cut off one of his ears with an electric saw.
He called out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?"
The guy on the street picks up an ear, "Is this it?"
"No," he replied "mine had a pencil behind it.

Well just a short paper tonight due to the lateness of the evening, but do not forget that tomorrow sees the start of the football season in Atlantis and this kicks off with the league cup first round ties which will all kick off at 6pm . At last some of you will get the answers to your question.... will I win.

Until tomorrow guildies, sleep tight.Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #29 Wednesday 31st October 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************

-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

Around the Guild:

Well there have been no leavers or new members today, but, it looks like hangovers all round again as a further 4 members achieved LMA status in yet another cracking day for the guild.Congratulations go out to: Mitto .... Ag038 .... Terrornia .... AceDude.

Our reporter caught up with all four of them celebrating together in the 'Pig and Firkin' ale house. Some good it did him as all he could get out of them was BUUUURPPP, Hic, Hic, Gish ush anudder one barman and Oh my god make way I need to throw up..
Looks like they will be in no fit state at their joint party tonight but who cares all the more for the rest of us. (Oh my poor liver).

A couple of other bits of gossip around the guild today.

Kruss was at a grave yard kneeing down in front of a tombstone.
He began to moan "Why did you die oh why did you have to die?"

Incubator who was passing by knelt down next to the man and said "Was this person very close to you?"
"No, actually I never met him!" replied Kruss.

"Why are you moaning then?" asked Incubator curiously.
"He was my wife's first husband!".

Tarantula takes his wife into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and he goes up to the bar.
The barman goes over to Tarantula and asks him what he wants, he replies", I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass".

The barman looks at him puzzled but say's nothing and gives him his drinks. this happens twice more.

A couple of hours pass and Tarantulla goes to the mens room and his wife goes up to the bar. This time she orders the drinks.

The barman gets the drinks and says, "it's probably none of my business, but I think you should know that your husband has been referring to you as the jackass. I just had to tell you because I don't think it's very fair for him to call you that".

The woman turns to him and smiles and says...
"Oh, don't worry, it's ok - heaw, heaw, he always calls me that"!

Sports News:

Today saw the first round matches of the Atlantis league cup being played. There was an abundance of goals scored and it was obvious that the emphasis of most teams had been attack.
It was also noticeable that Sallton had taken all the better goalkeepers with him when he left as there were some dog awful performances between the sticks.

Here are the results:

Wizofwoz Wreclace Warriors (5) Galts Bohemians (4)

Caphalors Titans (6) Jizzalots (1)

Burnsides Bulldogs (2) Zanders Zombies (1)

Mariposa's Monarchs (6) UK's Finest (4)

More76 Saxon Voema (2) Slyfoxy's City Slickers (4)

Akbhoy Celtic Galactico's (3) Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding (6)

Akhil Wonder (4) Hokage14 Pink Unicorn (6)

Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs (6) Jimmyhig County (5)

Kyncknacs Kicker Crackers (6) Raxpool Hamflickers (3)

Rinbins Jesters (4) Ujka Sams Bukisland (4) Ujka Sam won (10) (5) after extra time

Gremla7 MK Maribor (4) Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia (4) Stipsa7 won (8) (6) after extra time

Doctinys Speculums (5) Lord Farrals Bravehearts (6)

Seamonket's Westmonk (3) Empted STB Old Boys Club (5)

Spurdensa's Spud LUFC (3) Monarchy88 CPi Butanding (2)

PFCJays Thunder (4) mmarrkks Tartan Spartans (1)

The Bho's Ballhogs (2) TonyEvl Big Beer Bellies (1)

Two games went into extra time having finished at 4 each. A gripping game between Gremla7 MK Maribor and Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia fianlly saw Stipsa coming out winners 8 - 6 this was due to a superb extra time hat trick from their main striker 'Flashy' Fred Finnegan who tore through Gremla7's defence like a knife through butter.

The other game to go to extra time was Rinbins Jesters and UJKA Sam with UJKA Sam running out (10) (5) winners, however, a protest has been registered with the Atlantis league governing body by Rinbin. He told our reporters "They were definitely 'on something' and I demand a drugs test".
When asked for a response to the allegations UJKA Sam replied "Rinbins Jesters, they are having a laugh, we beat them because they ran out of jokes in extra time and that meant our players could take the game seriously".

We will of course have to wait to find out the outcome of the enquiry, however when we asked UJKA Sams centre half 'Bite their legs' Marley for his view he stated " They made us all give a water sample, now that's just taking the ****".

It is good to see that both our ladies teams progressed to the second round, UK's Finest manager refused to make any comment, and all he could do was shake his head. Akhil Wonder was heard mumbling from the dressing room "Beaten by the girlies, I'll never live it down".

In a close encounter between the Editors of this Paper, Burnsides Bulldogs won a thrilling match (2) (1). Again an appeal has gone in against the decision with Lord Zand claiming that "Not only does Mrs Burnside do the results but we believe that his Brother was the referee, we had 3 goals disallowed for offside and the ref awarded them two penalties"
Again the leagues board of officials are looking into the matter.

The draw for the second round will take place at league headquarters tomorrow, we eagerly await what thrilling matches this round will throw up.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #30 Thursday 1st November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************

-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

Around the Guild:

Another 3 Guildies made the LMA in the last 24 hours and congratulations go out to Kyncknac, Raxpool and Teogurita.
A massive joint party will be thrown at the main Atlantis city hall, it will commence at 5pm ending when the last person has passed out. (Oh my liver)

We have some belated congratulations to make, and the Star apologises for their tardiness in not reporting this on time... Dommie made the 100 club two days ago and we have sent him a huge cake to celebrate this momentous occasion.

Also reaching the 100 milestone today is our leader and guild founder John Galt who also informs the star that he has also reached 2500 battles. We salute you. Two cakes for you John, Tarquin says you will need to keep your strength up.. I don't quite know what he, she, it, means though John, is there something you want to share with us???

Other news and gossip:

We at the Star have had reports that guild members are getting increasingly worried about the ramblings and warped activities of one of our newer members. Ophion.

It is alleged (The Star only reports on what it is told in good faith, we cannot accept responsibility for malicious or untrue allegations) (That's us covered legally).

As we report, it is alleged that Ophion has an unhealthy interest in a certain sheep from a nursery rhyme, when our source was asked to elaborate on his allegations he stated.

"Well I heard him with my own ears, and also the ear that Caphalor lost (I found it and haven't had the time to return it yet), but it heard him too.
He was singing a little song and seemed to be looking for something, he was acting very furtively, I tried to speak to him but all I could get out of him was this rhyme he kept singing over and over again.

Baa Baa black sheep
Where can you be
Oh how I miss you
Sitting on my knee

Now my field (Bed) is empty
Oh it feels so strange
People think that I am sick
Some even say deranged

But if they don't like it
Then all I say is 'tough'
cos covered on my trousers
I love to see your fluff.

The Star sent a very junior reporter (Harvey) to investigate, he cautiously entered Ophion city to find him grazing in a meadow.
Now harvey was told not to get too near him so he shouted over and asked Ophion for his take on the allegations made against him.
Ophion answered 'Quote' "I don't know what they are all bleating on about, we are only good friends, and as for me being deranged, well they are all Baaarmy

"Well folks you can make of that as you will, we at the Star are very concerned for Ophions state of mind and will be sending Tarquin Buttockclencher to see if he, she, it can sort out Ophions problems for him, so watch this space.

In the meantime the Atlantis peacekeepers have warned people to stay clear of Ophion if they see him, especially if you are wearing a woolly item of clothing, the Atlantis health inspectors and vets also warn that he may be carrying sheep scab and foot rot.

Sports pages:

Following the excitement of the first round matches and the considerable amount of hand wringing, head shaking and general disbelief at some of the dismal efforts made by some teams, we get back down to business with the second round draw.

Firstly though there are some issues to clear up following the first round.

3 Official complaints were lodged and have since been dealt with by the leagues officials.

MORE76 Saxon Voema complained that his team did not perform as they should have because the league officials left out the Saxon Voema part of his team name. This was done by the leagues officials because they read it as '*** on the Verandah' It was later found out that those pesky kids had been in the print room again and apologies have been sent out to More76.

Rinbins Jesters made a complaint that Ujka Sams team were 'On something' indicating their suspicion of drug misuse, the officials have looked into this matter and found that the complaint had no substance to it.

Finally Zanders Zombies complained of unfair treatment due to Mrs Burnside making the game results and Burnsides brother being a biased referee. On the first count Mrs Burnside is furious,
"How dare he make suggestions that I have somehow rigged the result" she shouted "I will have his footBALLS off for this".
On the subject of the referee being Burnsides brother that too was unfounded, it actually turned out that it was his uncle, therefore the league cannot take any action as the complaint was incorrect.

And now onto the second round draw:

Slyfoxys City Slicker Vs Spurdendsa's spud LUFC

Empted STB Old Boys Club Vs Caphalors Titans

Burnsides Bulldogs Vs Wizofwoz Wrecklace Warriors

Ujka Sam Burkisland Vs PFCJay's Thunder

Mariposa's Monarchs Vs Hokage14 Pink Unicorn

Lord Farral's Bravehearts Vs Kyncknacs Kicker Crackers

The Bho's Ballhogs Vs Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs

Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia

There we have it, some very interesting matches to be played not least the battle of the ladies."I look forward to the next round then" Mariposa commented afterwards.
Obviously a very confident manager that her team will progress to the next round. However, as for Hokage14 she said "So its handbags at dawn" "Mines got a brick in it and is going to knock Mariposa's team out.
WOW are we looking forward to this one boys, lets hope the pitch is EXTRA MUDDY :)

The above ties will be played on Wednesday 7th. November.

This Saturday also sees the start of the league campaigns and the first matches will be published in tomorrows Star, with the results being published in the Sunday sports supplement.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #31 Friday 2nd. November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************

-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

Around the Guild:

Only one piece of news in the guild today and it's not particularly good. Terrornia has left the guild, after explaining to the leadership that he was getting bored with the game and had had enough.
He did however leave on a heartening note in as much that he wouldn't be leaving for another guild and if he did decide to return to the game he would ask to return to Atlantis.

My co-editor Lord Zand should be back tonight sometime and am I glad he is, mind you he will get a shock when he sees what Tarquin has done to the editors office. My god its all pink and purples, from the carpet to the ceiling in mushy colour and soft furnishings.

On the subject of him, her, it. Tarquin advises that he is very disappointed that no-one has written to him with any problems and wonders if no-one loves him... Come on you heartless buggers give him a break, even if I would like it to be his, her, it's neck. Besides if he, she, it aint earning his keep he, she, it will have to go, its costing us a fortune in herbal teas, fizzy water and Garibaldi biscuits.

Guild happening:

Kolokoy was walking through the main Atlantis graveyard this morning when all of a sudden he hears some music.
No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward ! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and goes to Spurdensda's city and persuades him to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with Lord Farral, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. Lord Farral notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By later today the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music."Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously. "He's decomposing!

"Sports pages:

The sound of female angst continues to rumble around the Atlantis sports arena today, with angry reaction from Melisa about the brick in the handbag comment from Hokage14. This game looks like it's going to be fireworks, and at the right time of the year as well.
Eager neutral fans were flocking (No pun intended Ophion) (Oh well maybe just a little one)
As we were saying eager fans were flocking in their droves (we are at it again) to Melisa's stadium in the hope of getting a ticket for this grudge match.

Burnside attended the stadium today to try and gauge any reaction from the players themselves, however, he was not allowed into the changing rooms. (Boooooo).
He did however manage to gain access to the sprinkler timing system and set it to full for the whole night before the match, thus ensuring his wish of a mud bath pitch (Hehehe).

As promised the first league match fixtures are out today and the Star wishes all teams good luck for the forthcoming season.

All the below league games will be played on Saturday 3rd. November 2012.


Burnsides Bulldogs Vs Hokage14 Pink Unicorn

Jimmyhig County Vs Jizzalots

Kolokoy Cross-boo Tanding Vs Knycknacs Kicker Crackers

Lord Farrals Bravehearts Vs Mariposa's Monarchs

Monarchy88 CPi Butanding Vs More76 Saxon Voema

Rinbins Jesters Vs Seamonky's Westmonk

Spurdendsa's Spud LUFC Vs Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia

Ujka Sams Bukisland Vs UK's Finest


Akbhoy67 Celtic Galactico's Vs Akhil Wonder

Caphalor Titans Vs Docyiny's Speculums

Empted STB Old Boys Club Vs Galts Bohemians

Gremla7 MK Maribor Vs Kradlums Kaiser Chiefs

Mmarrkks Tartan Spartans Vs PFCJays Thunder

Raxpools Hamflickers Vs Slyfoxys City Slickers

The Bho's Ballhogs Vs TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies

Wizofwoz Wreclace Warriors Vs Zanders Zombies

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

PS Whoever is reading this without access to the guild comments is missing a lot .. ;-)

John Galt

Issue #31 Saturday 3rd November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Helloooooooooooo Atlantis. Well what can we say about our Guild today apart from WOW what a GREAT Guild this is. 'The Star' has been inundated with requests from players from around Fel Dranghyr desperately asking us for membership. Our waiting list has now surpassed the 100,000 mark, which should make all Guildies feel privileged that they have a place here. However this also means that if you become lazy in supporting (yes you m3gatron) or greedy in the trade market we do have players available to replace you so watch out. You have been warned. (You can tell everything is back to normal now here at 'The Star', can't you :p ).

Now let's talk about the real stuff. Firstly a great big thank you to 'Burnside' who has been doing a wonderful job of keeping 'The Star' alive, interesting and funny while our Editor 'Lord Zand' has been away. We can all rest easy knowing that we have such a good team running things around here, except 'Lord Zand' was most upset about his purple office. He has already spanked Tarquin (several times) for this mess and is adamant that Tarquin has learnt his, hers, it's lesson. But hang on what's this, ophion has stolen 'Lord Zand's' identity. We have launched an investigation into this matter. Oh YES we have.

Today saw 2 new members join our prestigious Guild. We would like to welcome 'Lupo69' and 'Azdith' to Atlantis and were sure that they will enjoy their time with us. There was going to be a party in Aztopia to celebrate this occasion but it has now been cancelled after the guests saw how many Gallows 'Azdith' had constructed. "One for each guest" 'Azdith' was overheard saying. We shall give that one a miss we thinks, besides 'Burnside's' liver needs a rest.

Unfortunately (or not) 'Melkie' was FINALLY kicked out of Atlantis and the very loud cheering by other guild members which followed suggest that the Guild was rather happy about this decision to. We for one are very pleased as it means more active members.

More jubilations for the 3 Guildies who teched up today. Well done to 'thebho', 'niparo' and 'mmarrkk2012' for all reaching the LMA. We think we can safely say from us and all Atlantians that we hope at least one of them brings Basalt with them as there seems to be a shortage of this precious Good right now. 'Mmarrkk2012' has invited all Guildies to his city 'P H M' and has laid on a feast the likes of which have never been seen before (well not since the last one anyway), count us in 'mmarrkk2012', just please no spam this time. We really don't want to go through the Monty Python sketch AGAIN.

**Other News**

In other news today one of our reporters managed to get an exclusive story about 'pfcjay's' palace. According to certain sources it is actually a front for a 'Luxury Discreet Brothel' which caters for the nobel and elite men in his city. This revelation has seen an influx of male Guild members swamp 'pfcjay's' city 'Pompey' heading straight for his Palace. Thankfully our reporter was first on the scene before the rush and managed to get a few words from him. "I completely accept these allegations made about my palace. It has served my noblemen well and will continue to do so for man....what's that rumble sound....Oh my Go....". It was at this point that our reporter was flattened. Poor old cedric, we will miss him. It was a miracle that this report made it back to Star HQ at all.

Another report now on some strange going's on in one of 'Raxpool's' cabbage fields. Neighbours have been hearing strange noises at night coming from his deepest, darkest cabbage field which have been spooking the cabbages. 'Raxpool's' cabbage pickers have denied any knowledge of these allegations, although one of the pickers was overheard joking to his mate "What's the worst 4 letter word you don't want to hear after having ***"..."Um dunno"..."Now then, Now then". (sorry for that, bad taste, our printer has a mind of its own we swear). 'Raxpool' has also denied the allegations mumbling "I hate Rhyming words".

The last report today concerns our editor 'Burnside'. He has been feeling unwell all day due to suspected food poisning. Before he left our office earlier today we asked him what he thought it could have been that made him unwell. 'Burnside' immediately came out with the answer. "That bloody Tarquin. I should never have eaten one of his, her's, it's abyss cakes. Vile creations, covered in glitter and full of Tarquazeen. I'm gonna get you Tarrrr.....blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa". It was then we suggested he go home (thanks 'Burnside'..grumble..grumble...you own me a new shirt). Well we did warn him that Tarquin has a leniency towards homicidal baking.

**Sports News**

Yes footy fans it's results time. The first league matches were played today with a whole host of cards, fouls, riots and most importantly Goals. Due to 'Burnside's' poisoning and the fact he has gone home for the day we shall be giving a full report of some of the games in tomorrow’s pullout supplement titled 'Balls'.

The Full Time results of 1st League matches as of 20:00 hrs today:

********* LEAGUE DIVISION 1: *********

Burnsides Bulldogs 3 - 4 Hokage14 Pink Unicorn

Jimmyhig County 6 - 5 Jizzalots

Kolokoy Cross-boo Tanding 1 - 2 Knycknacs Kicker Crackers

Lord Farrals Bravehearts 3 - 4 Mariposa's Monarchs

Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 1 - 5 More76 Savon Voema

Rinbins Jesters 2 - 5 Seamonky's Westmonk

Spurdendsa's Spud LUFC 6 - 6 Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia

Ujka Sams Bukisland 6 - 3 UK's Finest

********* LEAGUE DIVISION 2: *********

Akbhoy67 Celtic Galactico's 5 - 3 Akhil Wonder

Caphalor Titans 5 - 3 Docyiny's Speculums

Empted STB Old Boys Club 3 - 4 Galts Bohemians

Gremla7 MK Maribor 4 - 5 Kradlums Kaiser Chiefs

Mmarrkks Tartan Spartans 1 - 1 PFCJays Thunder

Raxpools Hamflickers 3 - 1 Slyfoxys City Slickers

The Bho's Ballhogs 1 - 2 TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies

Wizofwoz Wreclace Warriors 2 - 3 Zanders Zombies

So that’s it for today’s issue. We all here at 'The Star' wish you a happy and safe evening as there are many Firework parties being held around Atlantis tonight. Have fun and see you all tomorrow...Chow....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #32 Sunday 4th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Welcome to the Sunday edition of 'The Star' Guildies. We hope that everyone has been enjoying the weekend so far with the many parties and celebrations which have been taking place around Atlantis. The office has been abuzz with reporters reporting stories and Editors editing the vast quantities of news we receive and attempt to make legible for your reading pleasure. Speaking of news let's get on with dispersing it.

All is quiet in recruitment right now. With no one leaving (Yet) there is currently no space for new members. Whoever came up with the idea that Guilds could only hold up to 80 members needs their head examined if you ask us. Which you haven't. But if you did, then...

Science news now and we have 2 new tech ups today. 'eigis' has moved into the LMA exclaiming "At last" in a very loud voice. But how about this Guildies, we now have another member in the Colonial Age. Yes that's right 'ophion' has taken the big leap into a new unknown age that promises to bring with it Travelling Circus's, Perfume Distilleries and Plantation House's along with many other weird and wonderful constructs. 'ophion' had these words for our reporter, "My city will soon be the envy of Atlantis as soon as I can get that Neptune fountain to stop peeing on people as they walk past. It's most embarrassing for the citizens who are visiting the Graveyard". We at 'The Star' wish him luck with his plumbing.

MAJOR news now as we have been allowed to announce the recruitment of 2 new Leaders. 'Caphalor' and 'doctiny628' have taken the next step and now enter the elite ranks within Atlantis. Their new duties will include, among other top secret projects, the monitoring of our guild market's Fair Trade Policy (FTP) and the daily Support of Guild members. The current Atlantis Leaders would like to welcome the new Leaders and invite them for tea and scones at 'The Star' HQ (don't worry, there not Tarquin's scones) also they would like to thank them for the fantastic support we're sure they will give to Atlantis and all who reside in her.

We would lastly like to wish 'Burnside' a speedy recovery over his food poisoning incident and hope he's back to work tomorrow as Tarquin only seems to respond to him. 'Lord Zand' has spent all day trying to get him, her, it to stop baking and painting everything purple only to be met with a torrent of foul abuse. In the end 'Lord Zand' had to chain him, her, it up at which point Tarquin settled down and seemed to actually enjoy the chains wrapped around him, her, it. Please come back to work tomorrow 'Burnside' ...pleeeeaaassee...

**Other News**

Today we start with some good news for Goods fans (specifically members who need a certain type of rock). 'thebho' won the Basalt Lottery and has been rewarded with a Basalt Rock deposit. We congratulate 'thebho' on his win and hope that he will soon have a Basalt Mason up and running to supply the market with this much needed resource. Following on along the same lines 'akhill.gupta' has now constructed 2 Basalt Masons with another under construction. Unfortunately to make room for this he was forced to bulldoze his Brick Works. We got a few words from 'akhill.gupta' during the demolition. "This is a sad day for all brick makers in 'Tiger'. But you can't make an omelette without breaking some egg's so on with the destruction". The brick makers, who unfortunately didn't make it out in time before the demolition had begun, are now retired Permanently.

There was comotion in 'ophion's' city today as one of the elephants from his new 'Travelling Circus' managed to break free from its bindings and begin a rampage across several areas of his city. The poor animal was eventually herded into the Local Library where it's trainer could get it under control and lead it out back to the circus. Thankfully no one was hurt and the damage was superficial. 'ophion' has explained that it was shoddy rope made by his own Ropery that was to blame. He assured us that he will be importing rope from 'MrJism' from now on. ***'Mr Jism' High quality rope with that special coating***. What a slogan!!.

So lastly we give you our new pullout supplement 'BALLS'. Luckily 'Burnside managed to send in some match reports via Atlantis-mail so we are extremely grateful for that, otherwise we may not have had enough to print. See how hard we work for you Guildies.

---Footy News with Balls---

Euphoria and head shaking were in abundance in Atlantis last night as the first league matches were played out. Although it's very very early on in proceedings some managers are already confident enough to start manufacturing merchandise proclaiming themselves champions.... Me thinks there will be a lots of spare oily rags in Atlantis by the end of the season.

The strangest match of the day came from Bulldogs park where Burnsides team took on Hokage14. With the bulldogs leading 3 - 0 with only five minutes to go it looked a certain banker three points for Burnside, Then the incredible performance turned to a farce.Shelly Pike an ex Olympian and Pink Unicorns centre forward took a dive in the area, now being as Shelley was a high board champion and ex girlfriend of a certain Mr Tom Daly you can imagine that she made a good job of it and convinced the referee to award a penalty.
She got up and winked at her team mates and took the penalty herself dispatching it into the bottom corner sending the despairing Bulldogs keeper the wrong way, that's when chaos erupted. Pike ran to the away fans and took her top off as she did so, the joyous sight was wondrous to behold and all the Bulldogs team decided to join in with the celebrations.

From then on the Bulldogs were attacking their own goal and passing to the ladies in their own box, result... a further three goals and more shirt taking off celebrations. Burnside was furious and complained to the match officials when he got to them inside the pile up of bodies celebrating.

We can honestly say that in the long service of reporting sporting events that this was the most enjoyable match ever seen.
There is a down side to this result for Hokage14 though, if her players continue celebrating like this and picking up yellow cards for taking their shirts off then they will have no players left to play as they will all be suspended..... No Burnside I said SUSPENDED not SUSPENDERS.......

In the other somewhat dull and boring matches in comparison to this one there were 4 hat-tricks on show in the six all draw between Spurdendsa and Stipsa, Raxpool got rid of his rhyming jinx at Slyfoxys with a slick (pun intended) 3 - 1 win and More76 says he will stop whining on now they have his team name right.

There is plenty more footy action coming up with league games on Monday night and the second round of the league cup on Wednesday, so until then its goodbye from them and its goodbye from us.

**Final Say**

So ends another weekend and the beginning of another working week. The early morning starts, the tedium of typing and of course the hysterical humour from work colleagues. But HEY don't worry 'The Star' will be there for all Guildies to help them through next week. Just remember to look out for us each day. Signing off.....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors: Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #33 Monday 5th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

'BANG, BANG, BANG', 'Oooooooooo', 'Ahhhhhhhhhh'. Don't worry we haven't all gone mad (yet) because there's fireworks aplenty today Guildies as we remember, remember the 5th November. 'The Star' loves a good fireworks display and now that 'Burnside' has returned to work (Thank God) we can get back to all those parties we missed out on over the weekend. Of course we can also get back to giving you Guildies all the latest news that's happened today. So grab yourself a mulled wine and a hotdog and prepare to be blasted away (not literally).

We have had 2 members advance in age today. Our new leader 'doctiny628' and our co. Editor and leader 'Burnside' both moved up into the LMA. It was reported that the leaders had joined forces in the labs to create a monopoly on Forge Points, thus allowing them to gain huge sums of these points at a fraction of their market price. These allegations have been looked into by the Atlantis Trading Board (ATB) and their reports have concluded that, while there 'was' an obvious need to in crew Forge Points they could not find any evidence relating to the Monopoly allegation. 'Burnside' declined to comment due to the huge backlog of files on his office table....(Oh BTW 'Burnside'...maybe take a look in your desk top drawer 'HEHE').... but 'doctiny628' said a few words in his defence. "The ATB found no evidence of these suppos'ed fraud allegations, therefore I'm a Leade...uh I mean innocent...". Ok Doc we believe ya !!

Congratulations goes out to 'akhill.gupta' who once again managed to win medals in 5 PvP towers last week. And well done to 'knycknac' who won the 3 earliest PvP towers within his neighbourhood. With all these wins comes medals and medals mean expansions. Both Guild members have entered planning permission requests to the Atlantis Council in order to enlarge their respective cities. These requests have been immediately approved thanks to the Atlantis Codex, page 71, paragraph 12 which clearly states that all expansion requests are granted immediately just as long as there is free beer for all 'Star' employees. Burp.

**Other News**

Other news today starts on a happy note once again as 'uktrooper' has announced to 'The Star' that he has just finished construction of a new Saltworks in his city. This came just in time for "Mr Pops" the popcorn maker as due to dwindling sales of his sweet viariaty of popcorn he was looking for a new flavour to launch. Salt flavour has apparently gone down a hit and has completely turned his business around. 'uktrooper' was delighted with this news and the new flavour of popcorn saying "I love this salt stuff, it's tastes great on almost everything. I'm going to buy the next 20 barrels for my kitchens". The doctor has been put on standby for a sudden increase in heart failure cases.

In another story it has been discovered that 'John Galt' is in fact a genius not just for founding one of the best Guilds in Fel Dranghyr but in compiling accurate and detailed reports for other Atlantian members. His expertise has come to light after several of our guildies requested help with the efficiency of their cities. 'John Galt' responded swiftly with tables, charts, lists and advice for all those seeking need. There was a small problem early on in his report when his overhead projector conked out but it was soon fixed so John could continue with his report. We always new John was a genius here at 'The Star', well either that or he is psychotic...two side of the same coin and all that...No it's defiantly genius.

And finally some good news from 'Azdith' who has announced today that his overdue welcoming party is back on. When we last reported on this matter the party had been cancelled because every guest was refusing to go due to the many Gallows 'Azdith' had built. "one for every guest" he was reported saying at the time. However 'Azdith' now assures us that every Gallows in the city has now been demolished to make way for Doctor's Surgeries and a new farm. We hope to see everyone there, see you at the bar.

**Sports News**

We were going to bring you a report of tonight’s matches but unfortunately due to unforeseen events this section is on hold. We will either dispatch a supplement later tonight or hopefully have a full report ready for tomorrows issue of 'The Star'. We thank you all for your patience in this matter.

**Final Say**

Well the news in this guild just keeps on getting stranger and stranger ay guildies.....but at least its entertaining news. We would probably have all gone made by now if we hadn't been able to laugh as we work. A quick reminder that Tarquin is getting increasingly impatient with the lack of work he, she, it has. We therefore urge all guildies to post some problems his, her, it's way and give us all here some peace. Just send your probs to 'Burnside' via PM, headed 'For Tarquin'. See you tomorrow Atlantis...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #34 Tuesday 6th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Everyone has been dreary eyed at 'The Star' today. After last night’s late release and following antics (you'll find out in a mo) we didn't get to leave the office until gone midnight, so we have been taking it easy today. But rest assured we still have plenty of news to dish so let’s push on.

Today saw 2 members advance in age. 'Armitius' and 'Akbhoy67' both enter the LMA with all the new buildings and goods it brings with it now available to them. 'Akbhoy67' spoke to one of our reporters after this achievement exclaiming "The lab boys did good. Now I can focus my research on proper technology, like my idea for a device that turns an entire sheep inside out. Eh Volla .. Instant Haggis". Thankfully our reporter left before the prototype demonstration. 'Armitius' was just as controversial in his statement saying "Jerusalem is now in its next stage of development. At last I can finish my city wall which won't stop wailing ant my people. Arrggggg...Oh how I long for one night of peace...". We wish both Guildies luck in these pursuits.

**Other News**

********************************** SCANDAL ************************************

The biggest scandal in recorded history rocked Atlantis during the very early hours of this morning 6th November. Guildies all over Atlantis were eagerly waiting for their 'Star' to arrive to check out how their local football team had fared to find no football report. Angry scenes were seen outside the 'Star's' offices with demands to know why and cries of, "what do we pay our money for" and "It's a rip off" were heard from the assembled mob.

'Lord Zand' addressed the motley mob explaining that he was not to blame, 'Burnside' was the sports editor and he had not been seen since he had returned in a drunken but very happy state from his stadium following last night’s game against Jimmyhig County. 'Lord Zand' managed to placate the crowd saying that there would be a .0001% reduction in cost of buying the next issue. (Quite how he is going to reduce that measly sum from the cost is beyond us).

'Lord Zand', worried for the disappearance of 'Burnside' sent out all the spare staff he had to look for him, he was even going to send Tarquin but He, She, It would only open the door a fraction to 'Lord Zand' and said He, She, It had some very urgent sewing to do and could not possibly go out looking for a drunken fool with liver problems. After 2 hours had elapsed a full scale search was commenced, with not a sight nor sound of Burnside, and the Atlantis National Guard were deployed for the very first time in history.

At about 4am this morning a shout went up that he had been found, he had been found tied up gagged and blindfolded with 100 fully naked birds. The shock, horror and embarrassment of 'Lord Zand' at this news was indescribable and he was seen shaking his head then quickly penning an advert for a new co-editor.

Then the full story reached him.......

Apparently 'Burnside' had been found in his carrier pigeon loft, he had been knocked over the head then tied up and blindfolded and left on the floor, as for his pigeons, every single one of them was fully naked, not a feather was left on their tiny little bodies and they sat shivering on their perches like small oven ready chickens. 'Burnside' had gone to the loft to collect all the football results that had winged their way in from stadiums all over Atlantis so as to get the report ready for last night’s Star.

When interviewed this is what Burnside told the senior investigating officer:

"I entered the loft and could not believe what I saw, all my beautiful birds, naked and featherless, but not a feather to be seen anywhere, the next thing I was seeing stars, I woke up gagged and blindfolded, tied to one of the loft struts, it's a good job someone found me or I would have missed my medicinal glasses of single malt whisky and that wouldn't do my liver any good at all.

After he was found he was taken straight back to the Stars office where Tarquin appeared and made him very comfortable with some very nice, soft, new cushions for him to lie on. The mystery will be debated in inns and taverns up and down the length and breadth of Atlantis for many years to come, unless we find out how this tragedy happened it will be pure speculation.

Rest assured the Star has it's very best team of investigative reporters onto this story right now and we will report anything to you as soon as we find out, in the meantime guildies are advised to only go about in pairs when visiting their pigeon lofts.

**Sports News**

And now for the football results from last night’s league games:

******** DIVISION 1 ******

Jimmyhig County 4 Burnsides Bulldogs 5

Jizzalots 5 Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 2

Lord Farrals Bravehearts 4 Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 6

Mariposa's Monarchs 1 Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 5

Rinbins Jesters 2 Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 1

Seamonkey Westmonk 1 More76 Savon Voema 2

Ujka Sams Bukisland 3 Spurndendsa's Spud LUFC 2

UK's Finest 3 Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 4

*********** DIVISION 2 ********

Caphalor Titans 3 Akbhoy67 Celtic Galactico's 1

Doctiny's Speculums 6 Akhil Wonder 5

Gremla MK Maribor 1 Empted STB Old Boys Club 4

Kradlum's Kaiser Chiefs 1 Galts Bohemians 5

Raxpools Hamflickers 4 Mmarrkks Tartan Spartans 4

Slyfoxy's City Slickers 1 PFCJay Thunder 4

Wizofwoz Wrecklace Warriors 3 The Bho's Ballhogs 6

Zanders Zombies 6 TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 2

Unfortunately guildies the Star printing press will not allow us to put the league tables in a true format so here is the best we could do.*all players having played 2 games

************ DIVISION 1 ************

1. Knycknac 6 points +5 GD
2. MORE76 6 points +5 GD
3. UjkaSam 6 ponits +4 GD
4. Stipsa 4 points +1 GD
5. Jizzalots 3 points +2 GD
6. Seamonkey 3 ponits +2 GD
7. Kolokoy 3 points +1 GD
8. Burnside 3 points +0 GD
9. Jimmyhig 3 points +0 GD
10. Hokage14 3 points -2 GD
11. Rinbin 3 points -2 GD
12. Mariposa 3 points -3 GD
13. Spurndensda 1 point -1 GD
14. Lord Farral 0 point -3 GD
15. Uk's Finest 0 points -4 GD
16. Monarchy88 0 points -5 GD

********* DIVISION 2 **********

1. Galts Bohemians 6 points +5 GD
2. Zander 6 points +5 GD
3. Caphalor 6 points +4 GD
4. PfcJay 4 points +3 GD
5. Raxpool 4 Points +2 GD
6. Empted 3 points +2 GD
7. The Bho's 3 points +1 GD
8. TonyEvl 3 points +1 GD
9. Akbhoy 3 points +0 GD
10. Doctiny 3 points -1 GD
11. Kradlum 3 points -3 GD
12. Mmarrkks 2 points +0 GD
13. Akhil 0 points -3 GD
14. Gremla 0 points -4 GD
15. Wizofwoz 0 points -4 GD
16. Slyfoxy 0 points -5 GD

As we can see Slyfoxy is the strongest team in the leagues holding everyone else up !!!!!

We will try and sort out a better way to present the leagues as soon as we can folks until then we can only do our best.

Don't forget the second round of the league cup is played on Wednesday.

**Final Say**

So that’s it for Tuesday’s issue Guildies. With celebration and scandal, today has been an eventful one and that’s even before we start on about 'Raxpool' and his *****...uh we mean Bonus polishing. But that's for another day. Keep on Rocking.....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #35 Wednesday 7th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

Hello Atlantis, we're half way through the week and everyone at 'The Star' still seems to be sane. Well sane enough to bring you the best top quality news this side of Fel Dranghyr anyway. With yesterday’s scandalous stories and for some jubilant for others disappointing football results today will be rather quiet in comparison. But don’t go and jump just yet, let us tell you about what’s happened today and then you can decide if you should end it all. Here we goooooooooooooo.....

There has been success in the Atlantis Labs today. Both 'Snarglys' and 'Trex777', (who was a late entry and just made the cut), entered the LMA. We sent our young reporter Sam along to interview 'Trex77', here's what he had to say. "Yeah I was so excited when I heard, I even got a 'TELEGRAM SAM' I mean like 'GET IT ON' I've never had one of those before and I thought to myself Wow this is like 'SOLID GOLD, EASY ACTION' baby. I always had faith in my main technician he's abit of a 'METAL GURU' to me, you know a bit of a 'JEEPSTER' if he keeps on going like this then one day I am going to be a '20th CENTURY BOY'. Tonight I am throwing a wild party, you know how I am going to enter, yeah I am going to 'RIDE A WHITE SWAN' I'm gonna have some booze and a dance cos 'I LOVE TO BOOGIE' then later I will take the wife home and give her some 'HOT LOVE' so we can raise some 'CHILDREN OF THE REVOLUTION' know what I mean". Uh...not really 'Trex777' but rest assured if there's a party we'll be there.

We have been approached by’monarchy88’ regarding some comic strips he made. While ‘The Star’ is currently undergoing a radical makeover we weren’t sure where to fit this in. We thank ‘monarchy88’ for his contribution and promise that it will be featured more predominately in the next few days or so. Just to start things off please follow the link below for his first comic strip sample:


Also today, 'The Star' would like to mention the fine work that 'kradlum' has been doing in the Guild Market Square. With 26 trades, (not including ones that he has accepted) on the books things are looking rosy right now for all Guildies. After finding an enormous stash of Salt in one of his warehouses the market has filled with sacks unfortunately severely damaging the value price thus making 'uktrooper's' Saltworks redundant. 'uktrooper' was furious out this news and has told reporters that he will be sending some UK troops to pay 'kradlum' a visit. We love a good war here at 'The Star' and hope that one of these two Guildies is kind enough to give us exclusive access to all battle skirmishes.

**Other News**

Just one news story today and it concerns what we TOUCHED on last issue regarding 'Raxpool'. This story comes at high risk to 'The Star’ because it would be technically breaking an injunction. But who cares. We can always place the blame on Tarquin. It appears that 'Raxpool' has been secretly seeing 'MrJism' and polishing his *****. However it was later discovered that it was in fact 'Mr Jism's' BONUS that was being polished. "I love the feel of a BIG BONUS in my hands" exclaimed 'Raxpool' when confronted with this revelation. 'MrJism' was slightly more cryptic with his response saying "In order to get that special coating for my rope I need my BONUS polishing at least 15 times a day". Wow that's a lot of polishing by anyone's standards but who are we to argue.

**Sports News**

Here we are again Guildies its cup fever time, tonight saw the second round ties of the Atlantis League Cup being played out and some interesting games and results came out of it.

Slyfoxy's City Slickers 2 Spurndendsa's Spud LUFC 1

Empted STB Old Boys Club 3 Caphalors Titans 4

Burnside's Bulldogs 5 Wizofwoz Wreclace Warriors 6

Ujka Sam's Bukisland 6 PfcJay Thunder 5

Mariposa's Monarchs 6 Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 2

Lord Farrals Bravehearts 5 Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 4

The Bho's Ballhogs 1 Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs 3

Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 6 Kolkoy Cross-Boo Tanding 5

Round up:

Burnside was fuming again on the touchline. After the debacle with Hokage14's celebrations in the league they again had the same officials on the park, and again they courted controversy. With Burnsides team winning 5 -4 and with only two minutes of normal time left the referee gave a penalty to Wizofwoz for handball, fair enough you would say being as the player actually caught the ball in the six yard box then threw it out to his full back, but this was the Bulldogs GOALKEEPER..

After scoring the penalty the ref celebrated with the Wrecklace Warriors team, shaking every player’s hand. It looked as if a replay on Thursday night was on the cards as they kicked off again, and in what was a very fair game with neither trainer having to enter the pitch there could be very little or no added on time. Imagine the shock when the ref indicated 12 minutes, then proceeded to give free kick after free kick to the Warriors.They eventually scored in the 4th. Minute of the added on time and as the Bulldogs kicked off the ref blew time up. Burnside has made an official complaint to the League officials intimating that he saw money changing hands with the 4th. official who then gave the thumbs up sign to the ref. The complaint will be heard tomorrow afternoon.

In other tight matches UjkaSam beat PfcJay 6 - 5 and Stipsa went through with the same score line against Kolkoy.

The real battle of the night though came from Mariposa Field where the battle of the ladies took place. As we already know Star readers there had been a lot of posturing and quotes about who was going to do what to who and the game lived up to expectations.
The pitch was nearly waterlogged and was lucky to go ahead; it is a mystery how it became that wet as no rain had fallen in Atlantis for three days. The ball kept getting stuck in the water and with all the kicking and running about; it soon became a mud bath :)
The first half saw three sending’s off for pulling of hair, two from Hokages side and one from Mariposas, players were sliding about all over the place and their kit was soaking wet through with mud, it was hard to see who was on which side it was that oozy and gooey and deliciously slimy, with bodies clinging to shirts and shorts.... Ah Hem... sorry about that got carried away. (Jizz stop that at once you will go blind).

Back to the action.... The extra player eventually started to pay off and Mariposas team went in at half time 2 - 0 up. As the second half resumed Pink Unicorn came out carrying handbags, the ref refused to start play until they were left on the touchline and the players begrudgingly agreed, the fourth official has since made an official complaint to the league stating "There was a ruddy great house brick in every handbag". We shall have to see what sanctions are taken.

Asked for a quote on this incident after the game Hokage14 just shrugged and said her girls were hard and worked on building sites. With Mariposas team eventually running out 6 - 2 winners I don't suppose there will be any complaint from Mariposa who just smiled and said "I told you so".

**Final Say**

With only two more days to go until the weekend we are already looking forward it it. With more footy action in the League and of course Sundays supplement 'BALLS' ('Raxpool' looks on with interest) we know you are looking forward to it to. Remember to support your fellow Guildies and help build a stronger guild community. Ta Ta .. . .

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #36 Thursday 8th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

We have big news for you today Guildies. Yes we really do have some monumental news. Yes that’s right, this incredible news is that it’s time for another issue of 'The Star'. We had you going there didn’t we (HEHE). On a more sensible note we do have some news to tell so let’s proceed.

There have been 4 advances in age today. 'Brutusthegreat' and 'thor4' both entered the LMA while 'Lord Zand' and 'turbovcielka' (we can’t pronounce it either) both entered the CA. With the construction of a Sailmaker in 'Tall Trees Keep', 'Lord Zand' has now requested huge quantities of rope from 'MrJism'. He also asked for a demonstration of the unique coating process but 'MrJism' was unfortunately unable to fulfil 'Lord Zand's' request as 'Raxpool' had been visiting 'John Galt' all day and had also been putting in some serious polishing time with him. We can only guess that it includes BONUS'S as the look on 'John Galts's' face in his profile pic seems to us to say one of satisfaction.

'turbovielllckakkaaa' (or whatever) on the other hand was quite sad with the news of his advance saying "After I spent all that money and supplies on those Academy’s I now have to demolish them for better buildings. Ho hum..". Cheer up 'turbo' (much better), look on the bright side, spend some money, buy some Diamonds and buy Travelling Circus's instead. Did WE just say that..I think the printer is on the blink again.

However it would seem that all this polishing by 'Raxpool' has lead to him taking a turn for the worse. After several days of nonstop wrist action 'Raxpool' was taken ill and disappeared in an ambulance complaining of RSI. No one has heard from him since. Everyone at the 'The Star' and all Leaders and residents of Atlantis wish 'Raxpool' a speedy recovery in overcoming whatever the problem may be and hope he returns to Atlantis soon. Don't worry mate 'The Star' will cope somehow. There is however a lesson to be learned here but we just can't work it out.

**Other News**

Yes believe it or not we have actually received a letter from one of our members sent to Tarquin our in-house agony aunt (among other things). We always like to help fellow Guildies with their problems and hope that this next story helps out:

*********************************** Dear Tarquin ***********************************

Well hello Boys and Girls, it's time for Tarquin to weave some magic on your problems again. I must say I love Atlantis, so much going on, and the scandals and debauchery, my oh my it's simply delicious.

I received another letter yesterday from a gentleman with a peculiar problem, let's call him Sideburn so that people won't know who we are talking about and he won't get embarrassed. Here's his letter:

Dear Tarquin,

I have recently had a very traumatic experience; I was hit over the head, handcuffed and blindfolded then left in a very dark place all alone.
Now I didn't like the hitting over the head business but have become strangely attracted to the idea of being blindfolded and handcuffed again.
Do you think I'm strange and that this is a kinky trait, please help I'm so confused.

Kind Regards Sideburn

You poor luv, being hit over the head, who would do such a nasty thing.
Now let’s look at your problem, reading between the lines I would say that you like the idea of being helpless and at the mercy of someone who could take advantage of you. Does this spring from your childhood perhaps, were you a public schoolboy who had to *** for the older boys, or perhaps you were dominated by your Mummy.

Being left with a blindfold brings out other senses more keenly and perhaps it is this that attracts you to this naughty, naughty habit.
However the handcuffs are a symptomatical attraction to authority, do you like uniforms, dressing up and pretend games....... OOOOooer Steady Tarquin...

Sorry about that reader but the thought of uniforms makes me go all of a quiver and faint, I will have to go and lie down on my nice new feather..... er I mean fat and plump pillows and take a cup of camomile tea, and perhaps a nice bourbon biscuit or two.

Anyway Sideburn, what I recommend is that you face your demons and see where it takes you, who knows what may happen, I can put you in touch with a very understanding person name Quintar who is very very discreet and understands these types of problems.

If you are interested meet Qintar under the town hall clock at midnight on Saturday. OOOOOoooh where are my tissues. (I happen to cry easily and think that this is a sad story).

That's all for this week Luvvies, lets speak again soon and see what other weirdo’s I mean sad and lonely people write in. Don't forget my motto now will you.I am always here with a sympathetic ear
A soothing word and a piece of lemon curd
Nice soft pillows and camomile tea
Your very own agony aunt, Tarquin, that's me.

**Sports News**

Following the two complaints made after the last round of the league cup the Star can report as follows:

There was no case to answer in regard to the brick in the handbag incident with Hokage14 Pink Unicorn.
Hokage herself gave evidence at the hearing and stated that all her team were fully expecting to win and that they were going to celebrate by dancing around their handbags, the bricks were inside to stop them blowing away.

The case against Wizofwoz however still rages on, the league committee could not come to a decision and said that corruption in the game would not be tolerated, they deferred their decision on who would go through to the next round until Saturday at midday.
Both managers were told that they would have to put in sealed bids to influence the decision, it was explained to them that this was not a bribe but should be seen as an incentive issue.
The Star reporter came away saying that there was a very strong smell of bovine excrement in the air.Here is the draw for the quarter final of the league cup:Kradlum Kaiser Chiefs Vs Caphalor Titans

Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia Vs Slyfoxys City Slickers

Lord Farral's Brvehearts Vs Mari Posa's Monarchs

Ujka Sam's Finest Vs Wizofwoz or Burnside (Dependant upon the outcome of the bribe)All ties will be played on Wednesday 21st. November. Kick off at 7pm Atlantis time.

**Final Say**

Do we want to say goodbye, no we don't but we must. It has been a pleasure to entertain you for a few minutes and hope that you will remember us in all you wills. Till same time same place Atlantis...Goodbye...

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #37 Friday 9th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

**The News In The Guild**

As the music from the Crunchie advert echoes around our offices it can mean only one thing. The start of the weekend is upon us and with it comes, among other things, more news and stories from around the Guild. So without further ado let's start the Friday issue of 'The Atlantis Star'.

We have a new member in Atlantis Guildies. A big warm welcome to 'phanphan123' who joined us earlier this morning for a quick few words on his new membership. "I have only heard good things about Atlantis so naturally I had to see it for myself. After the tour by 'John Galt' I immediately put in a request for membership and was accepted a few minutes later. I wonder if it had anything to do with the huge sum of gold coins I 'DONATED' to John". Hmmm...we always new 'John Galt' was a dark horse but as usual there was no evidence of a bribe or any sign of the money.

Unfortunately in order to make space for 'phanphan123' one of our long standing members 'jimmyhig' had to leave. This news has devastated absolutely no one which makes us feel kind of sad for 'jimmyhig' as he was once an active and supportive member of Atlantis. However you know what they say, out with the old and in with the new.

After the last few frantic days in the Guild labs today was much less hectic with only 1 Guildie moving up. 'King Rob' has reached the LMA and has taken it upon himself to kit out his city 'Dublin' with the latest buildings offered by this new age. Believe it or not he still has a Tailors (from the Iron Age) in his city which he told us was the first building to be replaced. Hint Hint. We later found out that it was down to his sheer laziness that he hadn't replaced it sooner (among other things). Lazy, Lazy, Lazy 'King Rob'.

**Other News**

Atlantis avoided Nuclear (what!!) catastrophe earlier today when 'wizofwoz' decided to embark on a top secret project to help fuel Atlantis into the future. The idea was apparently to create a monopoly on energy prices which he would have been able to dictate for the next 200 years. The plan was foiled by none other than 'wizofwoz's' arch nemesis 'seamonkey' who, for some inexplicable reason, 'wizofwoz' decided to trust today. Even though it was only for a few minutes it was long enough for the 'Monkey' to sabotage the project and bring the equilibrium back to Atlantis. We wholeheartedly thank 'seamonkey' for his brave actions and also would like to thank 'wizofwoz' for being a trusting fool. "You would think I would have learned by now 'Never Trust The Monkey', I must have had a relapse" was 'wizofwoz's' reaction when the story first broke. "Burn the wizzard" was 'seamonkey's' reply. We shall let that story die down a bit before those two really do go to war.

One last piece of news well not so much news but an announcement really. Everyone at 'The Star' would like to wish 'akhill.gupta' a very happy Diwali. This festival of lights which lasts for the next 5 days will be celebrated by many people including one of our own Guild members, so remember to put a light on for the festival and help burn up what little resources we have left. Hooray.

**Final Say**

Not much news today Guildies but don't forget that we have the weekend in sight and with it plenty of news and sporting results. Speaking of sports don't forget that it's the second round of league games tomorrow. So bring your pies and beers and maybe we shall see you at the post match parties. Chow 4 now ......

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

John Galt

Issue #38 Saturday 10th. November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************

-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

Good evening Atlantis,yet another day passes and yet again the reporters of the Star have been working flat out to bring you all the news and gossip from around the cities.

There are no leavers or newcomers to the guild today, and the techies have had an idle day too with no advancements:

****************** STAY INSIDE AND LOCK YOUR DOORS AND WINDOWS ********************

This was the advice given out to the good citizens of Raxpools city today following a massive mistake by DarkDDT when visiting Raxpool. It would appear that he has motivated some dark arts and a horde of Zombies are expected to rampage through the city when night falls.
For the first time in history the Atlantis National Guard Elite Regiment otherwise known as ANGER has been deployed at the authorisation of guild founder John Galt.

In a statement made to the Star John said "Take heed of what your city leader tells you or face the penalty, certain death. I have sent out ANGER tonight equipped with silver bullets and we will do everything in our power to drive this evil from your doors.

DarkDDT was summoned before the leaders council to explain his actions. "It was a mistake, honest guv" was all he could offer in explanation, "It was a slip of me finger" he added.

Well looks like that slip has cost him dearly as the leader council declared that the offending finger should be cut off to avoid any repeat mistakes.

Of course DarkDDT has the right to appeal. Akbhoy67 was heard to comment "That won't happen, he's not very appealing at the best of times".

Other news:

Tarquin Buttockclencher was a very happy Man, Woman, Thing, today and was going around Atlantis singing "Love is in the air" He, She, It had just heard the news that Monarchy88 was going out swinging and throwing his thing at anyone in range, we only have one piece of advice to Tarquin. 'Get very close mate cos you will have to to get in range of Monarchy'.

Yet more news:

Now some of you may have noticed that Lord Zand has been under a lot of pressure lately so we have kindly given him the day off to re-charge his batteries. (A very large sigh of relief was heard from the direction of John Galt).

We at the Star were so concerned that we had Doctiny visit and give him the once over, he diagnosed that LZ had not fully recovered from when he had had his identity stolen by Ophion, the Doc was extremely worried over is mental health and decided that a session of hypnosis may do the trick.

To start with Doctiny must have taken him too far back, cos all we could get out of him was Iddle piggly poo *** and he kept burping and farting.
Then he started giggling and acting all shy, and kept asking Nigel (Whoever Nigel is) to "Go on, go and ask her if she'll go out with me".
Then "Oooooh whats all this white stuff", readers we do not wish to speculate what he was on about here but Doctiny says he would have been about 11 or 12 years of age at this time. Maybe Mr. Jism can help us out here??

We eventually got up to date and well you could have knocked me down with a feather (Yes one of my pigeon feathers) (See below) when he started to reveal all under Doctinys hypnotic trance.

The first things he said was "Oh Tarquin, Tarquin, do it again, but this time faster and harder... We were all very embarrassed and couldn't look at each other without s******ing, then Tarquin piped up "I was scratching an itch he couldn't reach in the middle of his back" YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, as if we believe you.It would appear that Lord Zand has been involved in quite a few incidents lately and we think it only fair to the devoted readers of this paper that we divulge SOME of the details.

Remember the bricks in handbags incident at last weeks games, well LZ actually supplied the bricks that were used from a spare pile he had stored in the corner of his city. His reasoning being that if enough injuries were sustained then it would enhance his chances when playing against Mari Posa.

The sheep incident with Ophion, yes you guessed it LZ actually gave the sheep to Ophion knowing that he had strange tendencies in that direction, it seems that LZ did this out of spite for Ophion nicking his identity, thinking he could then write a defamatory piece about him in the Star hoping to drive him out of Atlantis with the shame. Unfortunately for LZ, Ophion has no shame.

Then we got to the pigeon feathers incident when Burnside was gagged and handcuffed, It was actually LZ that told Tarquin where He, She, It, could find some feathers for the new cushions He, She, It, was making, but to give him some credit he did tell Tarquin that they were lying around in the loft and not to actually take them off the birds.

When LZ was brought out of his hypnotic trance and made aware of his confessions, he, to his credit, held his hands up and confessed all to be true. "Well you have to sell papers somehow" was his response.

I suppose this is true and we at the Star will forgive him his indiscretions. However, when he asked "Is that all I said" and we told him yes, he walked away with a wry smile on his face, muttering "Thank God for that".

Even more other news:

When we heard that Burnside was to make a tryst with Quintar following his revelations about being handcuffed and blindfold again we sent an undercover agent reporter to see who it was.

Burnside duly turned up and was pacing up and down waiting, suddenly out of the shadows loomed a hideous sight, a thing all dressed in black leather, very tight shorts, a corset and stiletto thigh high boots and a full leather studded ski mask, carrying a cat-o-nine tails whip.

Our undercover reporter was so scared he ran like hell up the road, however he was very quickly overtaken by a screaming Burnside shouting "It's not human" over and over again. Our reporter said "He can't half shift for an old un".

Not long after they had returned to the office and were downing their fifth whisky (Its good for the shock) (But oh my poor liver). Tarquin arrived back in the office with a face looking like a dog licking **** off a nettle, when asked what was up He, She, It, just shrugged and said "It's been a disappointing night, Dahrling". He, She, It, then got down to work on a letter that had arrived the previous day.

That's all the news we have for you today folks, but even we can't take in what has gone on today, scandalous even by Atlantis standards..

******************** SPORTS NEWS ***********************************

Here are the league results:

************ DIVISION 1 ******************

Jizzalots 5 Burnsides Bulldogs 1

Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 4 Jmmyhig County 2

Mariposa's Monarchs 2 Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 5

Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 3 Lord Farrals Bravehearts 3

Seamonkey's Westmonk 4 Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 1

More76 Savon Voema 6 Rinbins Jesters 5

UK's Finest 5 Spurndensda Spud LUFC 6

Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 1 Ujka Sam's Bukisland 6

***************** DIVISION 2 ******************

Doctiny's Speculums 2 Akbhoy67 Celtic Galactico's 1

Akhil Wonder 6 Caphalor Titans 1

Kadlum Kaiser Chiefs 3 Empted STB Old Boys Club 4

Galts Bohemians 3 Gremla MK Maribor 4

Slyfoxys City Slickers 6 Mmarrkks Tartan Spartans 1

PFCJay Thunder 6 Raxpools Hamflickers 5

Zanders Zombies 5 The Bho's Ballhogs 6

TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 4 Wizofwoz Wrecklace Wonders 5

A full round up of todays games with updated league tables will appear in tomorrows sports supplement.

Goodnight to you all, and for those in Raxpool's city.... GOOD LUCK.

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand
Official Sponsors of the *AFL*

Lord Zand PS: "Although I truly believe in The Star and its stories (it never lies) , Burnside will print anything once he's had a whisky. However to clarify about the white stuff I was actually painting ;)"

John Galt

Issue #39 Sunday 11th November 2012

**************************THE ATLANTIS STAR***********************
-----------------------Bringing you all the latest Guild News-------------

Before we bring you the news today Atlantis we would ask you to join us in remembering the many members of the armed forces who have died in the line of duty during World War 1. This day is also recognized as special days for war remembrances in many non-Commonwealth countries. Remembrance Day is observed on 11 November to recall the end of hostilities of World War I on this day in 1918.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

Laurence Binyon
From the Poem: ‘For The Fallen’ 1914

**The News In The Guild**

Welcome Atlantis to the Sunday edition of 'The Star'. On this day of remembrance everyone here has been at peace with each other. Even Tarquin has been respectful although he, she, it had to be dry slapped a few times just for that extra obedience. And after yesterday’s sinister story, regarding a certain Editor, there was a possibility of a back lash by said Editor but even this was forgiven. So while all is peaceful in the office let us bring you today’s events.

No new members this weekend. We believe this is due to all currently existing Atlantis members playing by the rules (well ATM anyway), so there has been no need to boot anyone out on their ass. Only time will tell if this remains the case but we have our suspicions that there will be changes very soon. Just a feeling.

Today saw only 1 breakthrough in the research labs. 'Azdith' moves into the LMA and due to a lack of new buildings leads us to believe he must have researched Biology. Now in order to understand Biology you must learn about certain matters regarding procreation. We asked 'Azdith' if he had had any trouble in learning this module but all he said was "Veni, Vidi, Vici", which by our translations reads "We CAME, We saw, We conquered" so we took his answer as a 'No'. 'Azdith' has started his next research project which includes the 'Conquering' part.

Lastly 'Lord Zand' is most upset that no one has yet to try their hand at his Dingbats in the Guild Forum. After scouring his brain for some easy, mild and teasing puzzles not a single sole has probably even read it. 'Lord Zand' has immediately put into action Code White which is the deploym...***....(TOP SECRET)...**..***. So there you have it. Next topic.

**Other News**

In other news it has come to our attention that 'Akbhoy67' has started a new alphabet game in which someone must think of a word that relates to FoE with each letter of the alphabet. This intriguing game had lead to some early disputes however with 'TonyEvl' butting in with a word that starts with U when it should have been a word that’s starts with an I. A cascade of comments erupted from Atlantis members causing word mayhem. **F's and U's and S's** were thrown about in wild abandon until 'Akbhoy67' called a halt to it all by announcing that unless certain Guildies behaved themselves he would send a Horde of Zombies to pay their city a visit. Things soon got back to normal and the game carries on. Thanks 'Akbhoy' for this 'FUN' game, (funny how people play your game but not mine GRRRRRR).

And now its time to feature our super Sunday special supplement 'BALLS'. With twists and turns at the top will the table stay as it is or could it all change? Let’s find out.

--Football News With Balls--

Here are the league tables following yesterday’s 3rd. league matches:

*************** DIVISION 1 ***************

1. Ujka Sams Bukisland 9 Points +9GD
2. MORE76 Savon Voema 9 points +6 GD
3. Knycknacs Kicker Crackers 7 ponits +5 GD
4. Jizzalots 6 Points +6 GD
5. Seamonkey Westmonk 6 points +5 GD
6. Kolokoy Cross-Boo Tanding 6 ponits +4 GD
7. Hokage14 Pink Unicorn 6 points +0 GD
8. Spurndensda's Spud LUFC 4 points +0 GD
9. Stipsa's Zute ose Serbia 4 points -4 GD
10. Jimmyhig County 3 points -2 GD
11. Rinbins Jesters 3 points -3 GD
12. Burnsides Bulldogs 3 points -4 GD
13. Mariposa's Monarchs 3 points -6 GD
14. Lord Farrals Bravehearts 1 point -3 GD
15. Uk's Finest 0 points -5 GD
16. Monarchy88 CPi Butanding 0 points -8 GD

*************** DIVISION 2 ****************

1. PFCJays Thunder 9 points +4 GD
2. Galts Bohemians 6 points +4 GD
3. Zanders Zombies 6 points +4 GD
4. Empted STB Old Boys Club 6 points +3 GD
5. The Bho's Ballhogs 6 Points +2 GD
6. Raxpools Hamflickers 6 points +1 GD
7. Doctiny's Speculums 6 points +0 GD
8. Caphalors Titans 6 points -1 GD
9. Akhil Wonder 3 points +2 GD
10. TonyEvl The Big Beer Bellies 3 points +0 GD
11. Slyfoxys City Slickers 3 points +0 GD
12. Akbhoy67 Celtic Galactico's 3 points -1 GD
13. Gremla MK Maribor 3 points -3 GD
14. Wizofwoz Wrecklace Warriors 3 points -3 GD
15. Kradlum's Kaiser Chiefs 3 points -4 GD
16. Mmarrkk's Tartan Spartans 2 points -5 GD

Sharing top spot and only separated by goal difference in Division 1 are Ujka Sam and More76. With Uk's and Monarchy yet to find a winning touch and rooted to the bottom in the relegation places.

We now have a clear leader in Division 2 with PFCJay taking the honours and yet to lose a game, can PFCJay do in FoE what his team can't do in R/L, can they even survive??
Division 2 is a tight run thing with every team having secured points, we can see this division going right down to the wire.

*********** FOOTBALL MANAGERS WANTED *******************

Due to two teams going into liquidation we at Atlantis Football HQ are looking for two new managers to take over these clubs... This is open to players who DO NOT already have a team in the leagues.
The places will be on a first come first served basis by PM ing Burnside to register your interest; the first person will be given the higher league team.
Come on you know you really want to take them over... If not Taken by the next league matches on Wednesday this week then I will put Furnikus and co back in.

**Final Say**

With the end of the weekend comes the end of today’s issue Guildies. We shall see you all tomorrow as a new week begins and just to keep you cheery eyed remember that there are only 46 Days, 3 Hours, 29 Minutes and 41 Seconds left until Christmas. Happy Holidays :D ....

Copy right reserved TM
Editors:Burnside, Lord Zand